People's perceptions of hosting au pairs

[Anonymous]

How do your friends perceive you (HFs) for having an AP? Do they think that you are living some luxurious lifestyle because you have live-in childcare? Do they think that you are exploiting foreign childcare providers? Or do they think that you simply made the best decision for your family? Curious to hear your experiences.....

[Anonymous]

My siblings think that the AP is on 24/7 and therefore we don't have a care in the world. I really don't let it get to me for the most part, but it is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My siblings think that the AP is on 24/7 and therefore we don't have a care in the world. I really don't let it get to me for the most part, but it is annoying.

So true! My MIL does not understand why I am exhausted, because I have an au pair. It’s annoying, but most of the time, I just let it go.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a mix. Some really do think I have on-call child care. Others understand the system a bit better. I would say for the most part, most find it hard to believe that we can actually live with an au pair and still feel like we have privacy.

[Anonymous]

People always say “I couldn’t stand having someone live with me!!” And sure, there’s something nice to have the house to yourself when the AP is traveling but I’ve never minded having them in our house...just makes a little bit bigger family.

[Anonymous]

My foreign in-laws think she's a servant. My friends think she's an extra child. My boss thinks she's the solution to every problem.

[Anonymous]

Totally that I have 'help' all the time. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to remind my friends that her work hours are exactly the same as my work hours. When I'm home, she is off.

[Anonymous]

We mainly hear "we would do it if we had the space...".

We live in N arlington and really only the newer construction (tear down and build new house) are possible to have an AP and any privacy.

Not many homes have 4 or 5 bedrooms that were originally built here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We mainly hear "we would do it if we had the space...".

We live in N arlington and really only the newer construction (tear down and build new house) are possible to have an AP and any privacy.

Not many homes have 4 or 5 bedrooms that were originally built here.

We have an AP and a 3BR house. The master bedroom is on the opposite end of the hall and doesn't share a wall with AP's bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My foreign in-laws think she's a servant. My friends think she's an extra child. My boss thinks she's the solution to every problem.

Why is your boss at all involved with your AuPair? Or even commenting on it? My boss has absolutely no idea what we do for childcare or how I manage it. It would be strange to even discuss it with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We mainly hear "we would do it if we had the space...".

We live in N arlington and really only the newer construction (tear down and build new house) are possible to have an AP and any privacy.

Not many homes have 4 or 5 bedrooms that were originally built here.

Whaaat? I and my daughter live in a 900-sq. ft. one-level bungalow with one bathroom and we had 3 terrific au pairs. (2 Brazilians and 1 French.) I gave the APs the biggest bedroom. Don't bring home a princess. Bring home someone who loves kids and wants to learn English so she can get a better job back home.

My daughter and I visited all 3 of our au pairs in their countries and we were welcomed as family, just as I did for their daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My foreign in-laws think she's a servant. My friends think she's an extra child. My boss thinks she's the solution to every problem.

Why is your boss at all involved with your AuPair? Or even commenting on it? My boss has absolutely no idea what we do for childcare or how I manage it. It would be strange to even discuss it with him.

He's not "involved" with AP but does know how I cobble together a schedule.

[Anonymous]

My friends assumed that our au pair wakes up with our daughter at night???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends assumed that our au pair wakes up with our daughter at night???

HA! I can't even get mine to pick up the markers after she colors with the kids...

[Anonymous]

Boss said she considered it but didn't want the lack of privacy.

I told her it wasn't an issue. Ours either retreat to their room after work hours or go out. Our best APs have a good balance between watching videos in their room (typically weekdays) and going out with friends (most of the weekends).