People's perceptions of hosting au pairs

[Anonymous]

We only have male au pairs that play certain sports and speak either German or Spanish. Our children speak those languages along with English.
Program has been fantastic for child care, language and “older brother” who actually plays sports with them, not watch them play. Nanny could/would never meet our requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Not everyone has the same income! Many people can’t afford a nanny, doesn’t mean I think less of you, means that I don’t think you can afford a nanny. YOU are the one putting a negative connotation on not being able to afford a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Np...Are your feelings hurt or insulted? The question was about ppls perception.

AP are typically young women coming to America for a cultural experience in exchange for childcare duties for a low wage. They usually have little experience taking care of children. Sorry but that screams, cheaper childcare option. Then the excuses for not hiring nannies are well mine didn’t come in when it rained, mine was upset I was late, live in nannies are hard to find, etc. Look, if your comp package is trash then you will get trash nannies. Better to stick with what you can afford for your family.

I posted about it being impossible to find a nanny who would work our split, unreliable schedule, and we never even got to salary negotiation stage. Real nannies don't want this crappy schedule. Thus, APs.

I agree, you have to make your package very attractive to attract a qualified nanny. And a qualified nanny knows that if you aren’t up front about your package that it is likely less than what they would accept. IF you were clear about what you needed AND your general package, you would get a qualified nanny. But no, your child being in school for 3 hours doesn’t mean that I am off and unpaid, that’s not how this profession works. It sounds like you can’t affortld a nanny, which is fine. Glad you found something that works for you!

[Anonymous]

Frankly, many “professional” nannies in this area, have no formal credentials beyond having worked with children long periods of time. Many that we interviewed never take children outside, seemed indifferent to or did not seem particularly interested in children. Moreover, despite only looking for citizens, many of the nannies raised in the US whom we interviewed had poor English that we would not want children mimicking. Hence, satisfactorily seeking out energetic au pair extraordinares who only speak to family in target language, and, have minimum three years’ experience with young children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think they are too cheap to hire a professional nanny. But I also see the benefit is some situations.

The professional nanny threads complaining about employers being 5-10 minutes late are all the proof I need that a professional nanny won’t work for us.

You realize that being late for daycare or after school care would be the same issue.

Which is why I have an au pair...

I agree, you have to pay nanny more if you expect that level of flexibility.

No matter how much you're willing to pay, I think you'd quickly burn out a real adult professional, who would never be able to make firm evening plans during weeknights. Seems like you'd mostly get the most desperate candidates who would move on quickly once they got a better opportunity.

Or you’d get a live-in professional, who accepts higher pay with the knowledge that weekends are her only personal time. But I also understand that most AP HFs can’t afford that kind of professional, flexible nanny. ~24/5 live-in nanny who recognizes that APs fill a gap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, many “professional” nannies in this area, have no formal credentials beyond having worked with children long periods of time. Many that we interviewed never take children outside, seemed indifferent to or did not seem particularly interested in children. Moreover, despite only looking for citizens, many of the nannies raised in the US whom we interviewed had poor English that we would not want children mimicking. Hence, satisfactorily seeking out energetic au pair extraordinares who only speak to family in target language, and, have minimum three years’ experience with young children.

Frankly, with those type of candidates your compensation package probably wasn’t competitive. Not everyone can afford to employ a good nanny and that’s not a bad thing. Afford what’s best for your family.

[Anonymous]

We want our children to be exposed to ambitious young women who are adventurous. Most of the professional nannies that we interviewed, even through the top agencies, just wouldn't fit the bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, many “professional” nannies in this area, have no formal credentials beyond having worked with children long periods of time. Many that we interviewed never take children outside, seemed indifferent to or did not seem particularly interested in children. Moreover, despite only looking for citizens, many of the nannies raised in the US whom we interviewed had poor English that we would not want children mimicking. Hence, satisfactorily seeking out energetic au pair extraordinares who only speak to family in target language, and, have minimum three years’ experience with young children.

Frankly, with those type of candidates your compensation package probably wasn’t competitive. Not everyone can afford to employ a good nanny and that’s not a bad thing. Afford what’s best for your family.

We we were interviewing for nanny shares where the nanny was making at least 28/hour, plus overtime, two weeks vacation, etc. we couldn’t afford a full-time nanny on our own, no, not with overtime, and other requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Np...Are your feelings hurt or insulted? The question was about ppls perception.

AP are typically young women coming to America for a cultural experience in exchange for childcare duties for a low wage. They usually have little experience taking care of children. Sorry but that screams, cheaper childcare option. Then the excuses for not hiring nannies are well mine didn’t come in when it rained, mine was upset I was late, live in nannies are hard to find, etc. Look, if your comp package is trash then you will get trash nannies. Better to stick with what you can afford for your family.

I posted about it being impossible to find a nanny who would work our split, unreliable schedule, and we never even got to salary negotiation stage. Real nannies don't want this crappy schedule. Thus, APs.

I agree, you have to make your package very attractive to attract a qualified nanny. And a qualified nanny knows that if you aren’t up front about your package that it is likely less than what they would accept. IF you were clear about what you needed AND your general package, you would get a qualified nanny. But no, your child being in school for 3 hours doesn’t mean that I am off and unpaid, that’s not how this profession works. It sounds like you can’t affortld a nanny, which is fine. Glad you found something that works for you!

Well I make $400k/yr and my husband makes more than me, so, no. It’s not a money issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think they are too cheap to hire a professional nanny. But I also see the benefit is some situations.

The professional nanny threads complaining about employers being 5-10 minutes late are all the proof I need that a professional nanny won’t work for us.

You realize that being late for daycare or after school care would be the same issue.

Which is why I have an au pair...

I agree, you have to pay nanny more if you expect that level of flexibility.

No matter how much you're willing to pay, I think you'd quickly burn out a real adult professional, who would never be able to make firm evening plans during weeknights. Seems like you'd mostly get the most desperate candidates who would move on quickly once they got a better opportunity.

Or you’d get a live-in professional, who accepts higher pay with the knowledge that weekends are her only personal time. But I also understand that most AP HFs can’t afford that kind of professional, flexible nanny. ~24/5 live-in nanny who recognizes that APs fill a gap

You’re dramatically underestimating how rare that sort of nanny is.

[Anonymous]

I don't really care much about other people's perceptions of HFs and APs. But here is my real life experience as a HF: had APs for 10+ years, some better than others, some with significant child care experience Over those years, even with the worst of APs, I never missed a day of work because the AP was ill or otherwise unable to care for my children on a work day. How many nanny employers --no matter the Nanny's salary-- have had that kind of reliability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, many “professional” nannies in this area, have no formal credentials beyond having worked with children long periods of time. Many that we interviewed never take children outside, seemed indifferent to or did not seem particularly interested in children. Moreover, despite only looking for citizens, many of the nannies raised in the US whom we interviewed had poor English that we would not want children mimicking. Hence, satisfactorily seeking out energetic au pair extraordinares who only speak to family in target language, and, have minimum three years’ experience with young children.

We had a nanny when our kids were little (no way in hell would I used an AP for babies and toddlers). We had the same nanny for 6 years. We felt consistent childcare, over a revolving door was important. I can say, going from nanny to AuPair was like going from flying first class to the greyhound bus. Our nanny was in her mid 30s when she started, had years of experience with 3 different families, was a US citizen, spoke perfect English (originally from Columbia), didn't even have a smartphone, so she was never on it, had a perfect driving record and had been licensed in Virginia since the age of 18, she had spent 2 years at a Montessori school and brought a lot of those concepts with her, and even had a 2 year associates degree from Northern Virginia Community College. Going to an AUPair (and we absolutely adore our first AuPair) was a complete shock and massive downgrade. luckily we expected it and at the time our kids were 4 & 7, and in school, so we did not need anything spectacular, but wow, you can't even compare.

Maybe we got lucky with the nanny, but we had to be so hands on with the AP, it has been exhausting. I'm very happy our kids are now 8 & 11 and we will no longer need this program after this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care much about other people's perceptions of HFs and APs. But here is my real life experience as a HF: had APs for 10+ years, some better than others, some with significant child care experience Over those years, even with the worst of APs, I never missed a day of work because the AP was ill or otherwise unable to care for my children on a work day. How many nanny employers --no matter the Nanny's salary-- have had that kind of reliability?

She lived in your home! Hire a live in nanny and you could say the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Np...Are your feelings hurt or insulted? The question was about ppls perception.

AP are typically young women coming to America for a cultural experience in exchange for childcare duties for a low wage. They usually have little experience taking care of children. Sorry but that screams, cheaper childcare option. Then the excuses for not hiring nannies are well mine didn’t come in when it rained, mine was upset I was late, live in nannies are hard to find, etc. Look, if your comp package is trash then you will get trash nannies. Better to stick with what you can afford for your family.

I posted about it being impossible to find a nanny who would work our split, unreliable schedule, and we never even got to salary negotiation stage. Real nannies don't want this crappy schedule. Thus, APs.

I agree, you have to make your package very attractive to attract a qualified nanny. And a qualified nanny knows that if you aren’t up front about your package that it is likely less than what they would accept. IF you were clear about what you needed AND your general package, you would get a qualified nanny. But no, your child being in school for 3 hours doesn’t mean that I am off and unpaid, that’s not how this profession works. It sounds like you can’t affortld a nanny, which is fine. Glad you found something that works for you!

Well I make $400k/yr and my husband makes more than me, so, no. It’s not a money issue.

I’m sure it’s not.

You chose the cheaper form of childcare (over nannies and excellent private daycare centers) bc having an AP is everyone’s dream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We want our children to be exposed to ambitious young women who are adventurous. Most of the professional nannies that we interviewed, even through the top agencies, just wouldn't fit the bill.

I’m sure.

It’s just so obvious only APs travel and are ambitious.