People's perceptions of hosting au pairs

[Anonymous]

My cousin retired from teaching elementary school at age 50. She now works a s nanny and gets $32 an hour cash plus lots of perks. Families were fighting over her -- an ES teacher with a masters in Elem Ed who can tutor, etc -- she has her pick of families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Np...Are your feelings hurt or insulted? The question was about ppls perception.

AP are typically young women coming to America for a cultural experience in exchange for childcare duties for a low wage. They usually have little experience taking care of children. Sorry but that screams, cheaper childcare option. Then the excuses for not hiring nannies are well mine didn’t come in when it rained, mine was upset I was late, live in nannies are hard to find, etc. Look, if your comp package is trash then you will get trash nannies. Better to stick with what you can afford for your family.

I posted about it being impossible to find a nanny who would work our split, unreliable schedule, and we never even got to salary negotiation stage. Real nannies don't want this crappy schedule. Thus, APs.

I agree, you have to make your package very attractive to attract a qualified nanny. And a qualified nanny knows that if you aren’t up front about your package that it is likely less than what they would accept. IF you were clear about what you needed AND your general package, you would get a qualified nanny. But no, your child being in school for 3 hours doesn’t mean that I am off and unpaid, that’s not how this profession works. It sounds like you can’t affortld a nanny, which is fine. Glad you found something that works for you!

Well I make $400k/yr and my husband makes more than me, so, no. It’s not a money issue.

I’m sure it’s not.

You chose the cheaper form of childcare (over nannies and excellent private daycare centers) bc having an AP is everyone’s dream

Well no you’re wrong again. We have always sent our kids to centers/preschools in addition to the au pairs. The baby is in daycare in my office building ($2k/mo) and will be until she starts preschool at age two (at the top private school the eldest is already enrolled in).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Np...Are your feelings hurt or insulted? The question was about ppls perception.

AP are typically young women coming to America for a cultural experience in exchange for childcare duties for a low wage. They usually have little experience taking care of children. Sorry but that screams, cheaper childcare option. Then the excuses for not hiring nannies are well mine didn’t come in when it rained, mine was upset I was late, live in nannies are hard to find, etc. Look, if your comp package is trash then you will get trash nannies. Better to stick with what you can afford for your family.

I posted about it being impossible to find a nanny who would work our split, unreliable schedule, and we never even got to salary negotiation stage. Real nannies don't want this crappy schedule. Thus, APs.

I agree, you have to make your package very attractive to attract a qualified nanny. And a qualified nanny knows that if you aren’t up front about your package that it is likely less than what they would accept. IF you were clear about what you needed AND your general package, you would get a qualified nanny. But no, your child being in school for 3 hours doesn’t mean that I am off and unpaid, that’s not how this profession works. It sounds like you can’t affortld a nanny, which is fine. Glad you found something that works for you!

Well I make $400k/yr and my husband makes more than me, so, no. It’s not a money issue.

I’m sure it’s not.

You chose the cheaper form of childcare (over nannies and excellent private daycare centers) bc having an AP is everyone’s dream

Well no you’re wrong again. We have always sent our kids to centers/preschools in addition to the au pairs. The baby is in daycare in my office building ($2k/mo) and will be until she starts preschool at age two (at the top private school the eldest is already enrolled in).

Are you trying to prove that money is or is not an issue? Or that you value childcare more once your child reaches 3-4yrs old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do nannies care that some people prefer AP over nannies?
We had a nanny for 9 months and it rained or snowed we had no child care it seemed. We went to AP 6 years ago and would not go back to a nanny. We can afford it no problem. But we also have a 7br 6 bath home and housing an ap is not a big deal or any real impact for having guests or relatives visit.
Each to their own.

I sm a career nanny and don’t care how anyone chooses to raise their children, outside of neglect. People answering the question doesn’t mean we care what you personally do. Do what works for you, I support that!

Don't you think that calling someone "cheap and/or poor" is a judgment call about what they personally are choosing?

Np...Are your feelings hurt or insulted? The question was about ppls perception.

AP are typically young women coming to America for a cultural experience in exchange for childcare duties for a low wage. They usually have little experience taking care of children. Sorry but that screams, cheaper childcare option. Then the excuses for not hiring nannies are well mine didn’t come in when it rained, mine was upset I was late, live in nannies are hard to find, etc. Look, if your comp package is trash then you will get trash nannies. Better to stick with what you can afford for your family.

I posted about it being impossible to find a nanny who would work our split, unreliable schedule, and we never even got to salary negotiation stage. Real nannies don't want this crappy schedule. Thus, APs.

I agree, you have to make your package very attractive to attract a qualified nanny. And a qualified nanny knows that if you aren’t up front about your package that it is likely less than what they would accept. IF you were clear about what you needed AND your general package, you would get a qualified nanny. But no, your child being in school for 3 hours doesn’t mean that I am off and unpaid, that’s not how this profession works. It sounds like you can’t affortld a nanny, which is fine. Glad you found something that works for you!

Well I make $400k/yr and my husband makes more than me, so, no. It’s not a money issue.

I’m sure it’s not.

You chose the cheaper form of childcare (over nannies and excellent private daycare centers) bc having an AP is everyone’s dream

Well no you’re wrong again. We have always sent our kids to centers/preschools in addition to the au pairs. The baby is in daycare in my office building ($2k/mo) and will be until she starts preschool at age two (at the top private school the eldest is already enrolled in).

Are you trying to prove that money is or is not an issue? Or that you value childcare more once your child reaches 3-4yrs old?

I am explaining that my decision to hire APs has nothing to do with money but instead is about my schedule + reliability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired from teaching elementary school at age 50. She now works a s nanny and gets $32 an hour cash plus lots of perks. Families were fighting over her -- an ES teacher with a masters in Elem Ed who can tutor, etc -- she has her pick of families.

That is exactly the thing. There is more to life than money, and the best nannies don’t need to take a crappy split schedule with unreliable end times to get paid well. So if all you have to offer to make your job good is more money, you’re hardly guaranteed your pick of the field. As this board well knows, great nannies can make 10x what au pairs make, even when they do insist on a predetermined end time.

And good for them! I don’t think nannies should be more flexible. I think they’re right to insist parents not be late and let them off at a reasonable hour. That’s just, unfortunately, not a job I myself can offer. I need extreme flexibility (the latest my AP has still been on shift was 2 am, and neither I nor AP had any warning that was going to happen) along with a horrible split schedule (one hour in the morning of kid wrangling and driving, then not coming back on duty until late afternoon/early evening). It’s a horrible lifestyle for a real adult trying to have a real life, date or have a romantic partner, see friends, etc. but perfectly tolerable to a young person on essentially an exchange year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We want our children to be exposed to ambitious young women who are adventurous. Most of the professional nannies that we interviewed, even through the top agencies, just wouldn't fit the bill.

I’m sure.

It’s just so obvious only APs travel and are ambitious.

Even the candidates that came from "top agencies" didn't fit the bill. We were interviewing while looking into AP process. Definitely happy I went the AP route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We want our children to be exposed to ambitious young women who are adventurous. Most of the professional nannies that we interviewed, even through the top agencies, just wouldn't fit the bill.

I’m sure.

It’s just so obvious only APs travel and are ambitious.

Even the candidates that came from "top agencies" didn't fit the bill. We were interviewing while looking into AP process. Definitely happy I went the AP route.

It’s good you’re happy bc you sound obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

Actually there are not. There are travel nanny agencies for sure, but nope, there are not a lot of local nannies who will travel as part of their regular duties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We want our children to be exposed to ambitious young women who are adventurous. Most of the professional nannies that we interviewed, even through the top agencies, just wouldn't fit the bill.

I’m sure.

It’s just so obvious only APs travel and are ambitious.

Even the candidates that came from "top agencies" didn't fit the bill. We were interviewing while looking into AP process. Definitely happy I went the AP route.

what was obnoxious is the nanny candidate taking a call from her partner during the interview, and another bashing her former employer during the interview. thanks for your thoughts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

There was a recent thread about how much nannies who are willing to travel (and apparently are paid enough to take such a job) actually dislike it. Compare to APs who often specifically want to see more parts of the US. My APs have been excited to travel with us to places like Chicago and Seattle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

There was a recent thread about how much nannies who are willing to travel (and apparently are paid enough to take such a job) actually dislike it. Compare to APs who often specifically want to see more parts of the US. My APs have been excited to travel with us to places like Chicago and Seattle.

So bc DCUM says it that means there are none. Didn’t know DCUM was an actual source ppl use but continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We want our children to be exposed to ambitious young women who are adventurous. Most of the professional nannies that we interviewed, even through the top agencies, just wouldn't fit the bill.

I’m sure.

It’s just so obvious only APs travel and are ambitious.

Even the candidates that came from "top agencies" didn't fit the bill. We were interviewing while looking into AP process. Definitely happy I went the AP route.

what was obnoxious is the nanny candidate taking a call from her partner during the interview, and another bashing her former employer during the interview. thanks for your thoughts

What is obnoxious is the family who wants to pay $15/hr yet demand cleaning, cooking and laundry in addition to childcare. Or the familiy who interviewed 2 candidates and suddenly has met every nanny. Thanks for your thoughts too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

Actually there are not. There are travel nanny agencies for sure, but nope, there are not a lot of local nannies who will travel as part of their regular duties.

My apologies, I didn’t realize you interviewed every nanny in the area. And with your top notch package it’s a shame you couldn’t find anyone. So you must be right.