Why does our nanny want to be paid for two kids when she's only caring for one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will she be doing anything at all related to the older child - like laundry or food prep even? If not, a raise isn't needed but I'd offer a higher rate on days that the nanny does end up with some overlap, it's bound to happen. My sister does this with her nanny.

That's not a bad plan, I may look into it.

Nothing planned so far for the older child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ But I thought this was a preschool not a daycare? Preschools 100% donor have 2hr mandated downtime. Put down the pipe, lady!! 'Nap time' at preschool is at most 45 mins - 1hr and do you think the kids are instantly sleeping on a floor at school with their friends? Please. Why are you even a parent??

His preschool has a 2-hr naptime with lights out and quiet room for non-nappers.

The black-and-white difference between preschools and daycares exists only in your mind.

I'm sorry but you sound like a really uninvolved parent. Stop posting online and go play with your kid. I feel so sorry for him staying at 'school' until 6pm when there is an alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ But I thought this was a preschool not a daycare? Preschools 100% donor have 2hr mandated downtime. Put down the pipe, lady!! 'Nap time' at preschool is at most 45 mins - 1hr and do you think the kids are instantly sleeping on a floor at school with their friends? Please. Why are you even a parent??

His preschool has a 2-hr naptime with lights out and quiet room for non-nappers.

The black-and-white difference between preschools and daycares exists only in your mind.

I'm sorry but you sound like a really uninvolved parent. Stop posting online and go play with your kid. I feel so sorry for him staying at 'school' until 6pm when there is an alternative.

You can tell your own children what to do. All your comments I've seen are about nothing but resentment and bewilderment that someone dares to choose an option other than nannycare. That's why you have launched into a ridiculous daycare vs. school tangent when the original question had nothing to do with it. I note you do not appear to be sorry for a newborn who will have to be dragged around like a suitcase for dropoff and pickup under the scenario you are pushing. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ But I thought this was a preschool not a daycare? Preschools 100% donor have 2hr mandated downtime. Put down the pipe, lady!! 'Nap time' at preschool is at most 45 mins - 1hr and do you think the kids are instantly sleeping on a floor at school with their friends? Please. Why are you even a parent??

His preschool has a 2-hr naptime with lights out and quiet room for non-nappers.

The black-and-white difference between preschools and daycares exists only in your mind.

I'm sorry but you sound like a really uninvolved parent. Stop posting online and go play with your kid. I feel so sorry for him staying at 'school' until 6pm when there is an alternative.

You can tell your own children what to do. All your comments I've seen are about nothing but resentment and bewilderment that someone dares to choose an option other than nannycare. That's why you have launched into a ridiculous daycare vs. school tangent when the original question had nothing to do with it. I note you do not appear to be sorry for a newborn who will have to be dragged around like a suitcase for dropoff and pickup under the scenario you are pushing. No thank you.

Sorry, OP, but there are at least 2 people bewildered and replying. I'm a PP who was talking about the difference between daycare and preschool, and while I do think that you child deserves better than 8+ hours suddenly at school, it's not my choice. You seem to think that it's only one person asking questions and stating an opposing viewpoint, but I would bet that there are at least 3 or 4.

[Anonymous]

There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

Why so angry and defensive? Which post makes you think there's no concern for the baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

Why so angry and defensive? Which post makes you think there's no concern for the baby?

All of them suggesting that he continues on a part-time schedule with nanny dropping off and picking up.

Not really angry, just amused at nannies doing mental cartwheels to justify their involvement beyond what the parents have planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

Why so angry and defensive? Which post makes you think there's no concern for the baby?

All of them suggesting that he continues on a part-time schedule with nanny dropping off and picking up.

Not really angry, just amused at nannies doing mental cartwheels to justify their involvement beyond what the parents have planned.

What's your advice? Nothing?

[Anonymous]

Advice to what? To whom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

[b]

See that's the thing. You think of your kids like a burden to be carted around. Normal people think: "Wow that sucks for a child to be at 'school' 10+ hours a day, shipped off because he's now a burden". Not only is your son being sent away, he now doesn't get to spend time bonding with his sibling. Please post back in 2 years and let us know how their relationship is going, you know with them spending so much time bonding together in the early years.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. It's really crazy to me that you haven't even thought about the sibling relationship!!! It's not about the nanny you moron.

[Anonymous]

Actually, and I'm at least a third PP, my concern for the infant is that he'll barely get to know his brother. Again, your choice, but when you have the option of part-time preschool and a nanny, I don't get it either. I think it can only be valuable for kids to get to be little kids for the few years they can be, rather than following a schedule of specific activities all the livelong day.

It's also better for kids to be around kids of other ages, and not just their own peer group.

Not to mention that on the weekends, their schedules will be so drastically different that you won't have the advantage of kids who are already used to a routine that includes each other.

So, no, it's not just one person who's mystified (I'm a MB, with kids in full time (8-3) school, part time preschool (9-1, 3 days/wk), and full time at home). The answer to your question was entirely obvious: Yes, most nannies get a new baby raise because their duties increase. No, yours should not expect one because hers won't. But your situation is so unusual and so different from what most people do that everyone is commenting on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

[b]

See that's the thing. You think of your kids like a burden to be carted around. Normal people think: "Wow that sucks for a child to be at 'school' 10+ hours a day, shipped off because he's now a burden". Not only is your son being sent away, he now doesn't get to spend time bonding with his sibling. Please post back in 2 years and let us know how their relationship is going, you know with them spending so much time bonding together in the early years.

That's your perception. Normal people may also think, "wow, it sucks for the baby to be dragged from her nap and crib, dressed up and put in a carseat, driven around, walked to and fro preschool, then driven back and undressed, for no good reason, when she could be enjoying calm days, uninterrupted naps, strolls in the park, and 100% focus of her caregiver, just like her brother had when he was her age."

You are also ridiculous to think that no bonding happens after 6 pm or on weekends, or that their lifelong relationship has anything to do with how much time they spent together when one of them was an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There may very well be more than one. But all of them follow the same script:

- "well your nanny MUST be doing something for the older one, why don't you give her a raise!"

- "oh she won't be? nothing at all? then you are a bad person for making it so. She SHOULD be doing it for him. She deserves a raise. You are a bad person for removing a child from her care."

So predictable. And so...nothing to do with the original question. Again, I note that the nannies who have SO much concern for the 4-year old appear unconcerned about an infant carted about for no good reason. Self-interest at its best.

[b]

See that's the thing. You think of your kids like a burden to be carted around. Normal people think: "Wow that sucks for a child to be at 'school' 10+ hours a day, shipped off because he's now a burden". Not only is your son being sent away, he now doesn't get to spend time bonding with his sibling. Please post back in 2 years and let us know how their relationship is going, you know with them spending so much time bonding together in the early years.

That's your perception. Normal people may also think, "wow, it sucks for the baby to be dragged from her nap and crib, dressed up and put in a carseat, driven around, walked to and fro preschool, then driven back and undressed, for no good reason, when she could be enjoying calm days, uninterrupted naps, strolls in the park, and 100% focus of her caregiver, just like her brother had when he was her age."

You are also ridiculous to think that no bonding happens after 6 pm or on weekends, or that their lifelong relationship has anything to do with how much time they spent together when one of them was an infant.

[b]

Clearly you think it's normal to only interact with family for an hour or two a day, so why not put this on your kids? You won't see the light because you can't understand why people think your situation is a bit selfish and crazy and unfair to the kids. That's ok. You do what makes YOU happy. That's what matters right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, and I'm at least a third PP, my concern for the infant is that he'll barely get to know his brother. Again, your choice, but when you have the option of part-time preschool and a nanny, I don't get it either. I think it can only be valuable for kids to get to be little kids for the few years they can be, rather than following a schedule of specific activities all the livelong day.

It's also better for kids to be around kids of other ages, and not just their own peer group.

Not to mention that on the weekends, their schedules will be so drastically different that you won't have the advantage of kids who are already used to a routine that includes each other.

So, no, it's not just one person who's mystified (I'm a MB, with kids in full time (8-3) school, part time preschool (9-1, 3 days/wk), and full time at home). The answer to your question was entirely obvious: Yes, most nannies get a new baby raise because their duties increase. No, yours should not expect one because hers won't. But your situation is so unusual and so different from what most people do that everyone is commenting on it.

Your childcare choices are your own, no one has to mimic them or question them. I do have an option of part-time+nanny, and I consider this option substandard for us, therefore I chose different.

Infants don't stay infants for long. They have their whole life to bond.

Of course a routine is different on weekends, your kids don't go to school on weekends, do they. So they have to get used to a new weekend routine anyway.

Yes, the answer to my question was obvious to me, so I was trying to get some insights as to why it was not obvious to the nanny.