Why does our nanny want to be paid for two kids when she's only caring for one?

[Anonymous]

Does she do nursery duties? Will you be washing DS1'sclotges and wiping his crumbs and doing his dishes and cleaning his toys and staying home in the summer and on spring break and on all
Sick days???

Give me a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she do nursery duties? Will you be washing DS1'sclotges and wiping his crumbs and doing his dishes and cleaning his toys and staying home in the summer and on spring break and on all
Sick days???

Give me a break

He's going to a year round day care full-time... there will not be summers and spring break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did she say when you asked her why?

OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she say when you asked her why?

OP?

This is OP. She kept saying "because there's two of them now and they need more work." I explained very thoroughly that DS1 will no longer be around and won't need any care, not laundry, not food, not entertainment. She seemed incredulous that he won't need any more of her time or attention. Note that I gave her heads-up several months ago that he will transition to full-time preschool, so it's not a surprise at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the days that she has him, he's likely to be jealous of the amount of time that nanny spends on the infant and not want to follow the infant's schedule. So, much higher pay would be required for those days. On the other hand, I can understand not wanting to give her another raise if she will truly not be doing a single thing for the older child on any other day.

We don't anticipate her having him at all, unless for a true emergency.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and no 4 year old NEEDS to be in institutional care for 8-12 hours per day. A parent can CHOOSE to put their 4 year old in preschool or daycare all day, but it is not required, developmentally. Children do just as well, or better, when they are at home part of the day with a dedicated caregiver, like a SAHM or nanny.

Preschools are schools. They have set hours, closures for breaks and teacher training days. They may offer before and/or aftercare, like many elementary schools. Daycare centers don't close unless they are required to by the state, and for a child who is preschool age, they offer educational activities in addition to playing. While I see nothing wrong with transitioning a 4 year old from part time preschool to full day daycare with preschool activities when there's a new sibling, there's a huge difference between the two, and you should look into it.

We have made our decisions as to his care, and are comfortable with them. There is no need for lecturing.

Anonymous wrote:Finally, many nannies would expect the raise. They expect that they will be with ALL of the children until the youngest is in full time school. Nanny knows you are on maternity leave, thoroughly expected that she would have time with your son frequently. Why would she stay with your family long-term if she could work for a family who would have her work with all of the children, and pay her for that?

Her expectations aren't really a part of the picture, and the nanny can't bend the family to her preferences if that's not what the family wants. There is no real standard, real or customary, as to what the nannies should expect - I am very certain the world of nannying is full of all kinds of configurations. I know what our family needs are. If the nanny prefers something else, i.e. to work for a family with multiple children, she is free to look for one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. We have four kids, three of whom are school age. When I was hiring a nanny, most wanted a very high wage becauae they'd be "caring for four kids". Um, nope, you'd be caring for one kid who happens to have three siblings. The children not present are not your responsibility and you don't get paid extra just by virtue of their existence.

So, your nanny doesn't pack lunches, do their laundry, cook dinner for them, have snack ready after school, take them to activities, have them when they are sick or there's a snow, plan activities for all 4 when there's a teacher in-service day or vacation? If one of the older kids gets sick or injured (or, heaven forbid, in trouble at school), Nanny isn't responsible for racing to pick them up and deal with the aftermath? Good to know. Get a sitter for the other three kids on those days, nanny will be doing her normal routine with your youngest child only.

I am curious why you think you know better than her what her childcare needs are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she say when you asked her why?

OP?

This is OP. She kept saying "because there's two of them now and they need more work." I explained very thoroughly that DS1 will no longer be around and won't need any care, not laundry, not food, not entertainment. She seemed incredulous that he won't need any more of her time or attention. Note that I gave her heads-up several months ago that he will transition to full-time preschool, so it's not a surprise at all.

Ask her what sort of "more work" is she thinking of.

I think there's a communication issue here.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP she just may be anticipating getting the short end of the stick. A lot of people who say you won't have to do this or that or he won't be home....don't end up following though. So she may be coming with some bad experiences from other employers. Just reassure her about her new duties. And saybif it ever comes up you'll gladly pay her extra or give her a comp day. Also put it in writing. She will feel better about it

[Anonymous]

This does seem a bit selfish I have to say. On her part.

One question for you: If your older child falls ill while in school during the day, is she expected to be available to go to his school and pick him up immediately? Or have you asked his school to phone you first?

If she is to be on stand by in case this does happen, then I would agree that she should be adequately compensated since she would be providing a service to you by being fully available for him.

If not, then a possible miscommunication may have occurred and I would re-visit the discussion again.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does seem a bit selfish I have to say. On her part.

One question for you: If your older child falls ill while in school during the day, is she expected to be available to go to his school and pick him up immediately? Or have you asked his school to phone you first?

If she is to be on stand by in case this does happen, then I would agree that she should be adequately compensated since she would be providing a service to you by being fully available for him.

If not, then a possible miscommunication may have occurred and I would re-visit the discussion again.

Good luck!

The school will phone me first, or failing that, my DH. They don't even have nanny's information.

[Anonymous]

Does the nanny have the right to refuse are for the older child? Or will you just dump him on her whenever you want? Please post back and let us know how many times you stayed home when your child was sick instead of just expecting your nanny to pick up the slack you don't want to pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the nanny have the right to refuse are for the older child? Or will you just dump him on her whenever you want? Please post back and let us know how many times you stayed home when your child was sick instead of just expecting your nanny to pick up the slack you don't want to pay for.

I do not expect the nanny to care for the older child, whether healthy or sick.

[Anonymous]

I'm thinking the nanny saw the baby as extra pay and wants the salary of a nanny with 2 kids but only caring for 1 child. I thin she's trying to take advantage of you OP maybe it may be time to move on. Good luck Op

[Anonymous]

After reading this entire thread, it simply doesn't ring true. OP, I'm calling troll.

[Anonymous]

You're a strange one OP.