Why does our nanny want to be paid for two kids when she's only caring for one?

[Anonymous]

OP, I disagree with the individual who called "troll."

I think your post as well as responses are fair and definitely on point.

[Anonymous]

If you have a Nanny why is your 3yo going to daycare full time?
Why cant he go to a preschool 3 mornings a week for now and then maybe 5 mornings a week next year?
I really dont understand this.
He has been with her as his primary caregiver for 3 years now hes getting booted out all day long until 6pm and she has his sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a Nanny why is your 3yo going to daycare full time?
Why cant he go to a preschool 3 mornings a week for now and then maybe 5 mornings a week next year?
I really dont understand this.
He has been with her as his primary caregiver for 3 years now hes getting booted out all day long until 6pm and she has his sibling.

I agree. This is a such a strange set-up.

[Anonymous]

Most nannies realize that suddenly switching a 4 year old from part-time preschool 3-5 days per week to 8-12 hours per day of daycare while also adding a new baby is a recipe for disaster. Your nanny is anticipating that:
1. The 4 year old won't be able to recognize that he's supposed to not talk to her, ask her for anything or do anything with her in the morning before he leaves.
2. Laundry and cleaning his room may start out as your responsibility, but most families will let it slide and then tell the nanny to pick up the slack, because Nanny is supposed to be doing everything related to a child, and he's one of the children.
3. Emergency only care for a preschooler when the child knows that previously he was the nanny's only charge and now the new sibling is the nanny's only charge is a nightmare. If I were the nanny, I would make it very clear that if this is the way you intend to handle your family and nanny situation, I would only be working with the infant, and you would need someone else to care for the older child. Between jealousy, Nanny no longer knowing what the child likes to eat, no authority for discipline and complete disruption of the child's schedule due to an emergency, no, there's no way that I would do it. Most parents understand that they need the nanny to retain a bond with the older child, and they build time with the nanny into the schedule for that child.
4. It's highly possible that the 4 year old is too immature to handle well the sudden switch from part-time to more than full-time institutional care. Are you going to make him push through it? Are you going to step back and gradually increase the number of hours, which would mean that the nanny would be picking him up a bit later each week? Have you even discussed the possible ways that he will react with the preschool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a Nanny why is your 3yo going to daycare full time?
Why cant he go to a preschool 3 mornings a week for now and then maybe 5 mornings a week next year?
I really dont understand this.
He has been with her as his primary caregiver for 3 years now hes getting booted out all day long until 6pm and she has his sibling.

I agree. This is a such a strange set-up.

MB here. I agree, too. Especially since they'll still be employing the nanny full time, so won't be saving much (if any) money.

Makes me wonder if this nanny is a "grandmother" type who is good with sitting around with babies, but not so great as kids get older.

[Anonymous]

Agree that something is off with this setup, as OP is reporting it.

[Anonymous]

Weird set up but maybe it works for them. I agree you don't need to pay her more if the older child is never there. But you should also consider she may not currently be interested in being a FT newborn nanny. It's basically starting over in a new job and she may not want to do it at that rate, or at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies realize that suddenly switching a 4 year old from part-time preschool 3-5 days per week to 8-12 hours per day of daycare while also adding a new baby is a recipe for disaster. Your nanny is anticipating that:
1. The 4 year old won't be able to recognize that he's supposed to not talk to her, ask her for anything or do anything with her in the morning before he leaves.
2. Laundry and cleaning his room may start out as your responsibility, but most families will let it slide and then tell the nanny to pick up the slack, because Nanny is supposed to be doing everything related to a child, and he's one of the children.
3. Emergency only care for a preschooler when the child knows that previously he was the nanny's only charge and now the new sibling is the nanny's only charge is a nightmare. If I were the nanny, I would make it very clear that if this is the way you intend to handle your family and nanny situation, I would only be working with the infant, and you would need someone else to care for the older child. Between jealousy, Nanny no longer knowing what the child likes to eat, no authority for discipline and complete disruption of the child's schedule due to an emergency, no, there's no way that I would do it. Most parents understand that they need the nanny to retain a bond with the older child, and they build time with the nanny into the schedule for that child.
4. It's highly possible that the 4 year old is too immature to handle well the sudden switch from part-time to more than full-time institutional care. Are you going to make him push through it? Are you going to step back and gradually increase the number of hours, which would mean that the nanny would be picking him up a bit later each week? Have you even discussed the possible ways that he will react with the preschool?

OP here. I honestly think you are grasping at straws.

1. The 4-year old can talk to the nanny in the morning all he wants, it's not like they have to avoid each other. But there is nothing she has to do for him.
2. Nanny will do everything related to the baby, not all the children.
3. The nanny will not be involved in emergency care of preschooler unless it's a true emergency, and by that I mean someone is dying. I also question setting up the whole system of childcare to accommodate the nanny's comfort during emergencies, which by their very definition happen very rarely.
4. Yes, the four-year old is ready and very eager to go full-time. I also don't understand how you are coming up with the 12 hours in care business, most preschools or daycares aren't even open for twelve hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird set up but maybe it works for them. I agree you don't need to pay her more if the older child is never there. But you should also consider she may not currently be interested in being a FT newborn nanny. It's basically starting over in a new job and she may not want to do it at that rate, or at all.

If that's the case, that's fine, we are no longer right for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a Nanny why is your 3yo going to daycare full time?
Why cant he go to a preschool 3 mornings a week for now and then maybe 5 mornings a week next year?
I really dont understand this.
He has been with her as his primary caregiver for 3 years now hes getting booted out all day long until 6pm and she has his sibling.

He is four. Has been going part-time for the last year, now it's time for more.

[Anonymous]

You might be better off starting with another nanny and offer raises as baby grows older. Current nanny appears greedy and her level of care for newborn might decline not purposefully but because she is unhappy which you do not want to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a Nanny why is your 3yo going to daycare full time?
Why cant he go to a preschool 3 mornings a week for now and then maybe 5 mornings a week next year?
I really dont understand this.
He has been with her as his primary caregiver for 3 years now hes getting booted out all day long until 6pm and she has his sibling.

He is four. Has been going part-time for the last year, now it's time for more.

You keep using "it's time for more" as a reason, when this is in fact not a reason. Why is it "time"? As far as I know, there's no widely accepted "time" for kids to be in school 8+ hours a day. So I'm just not sure why you keep saying this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a Nanny why is your 3yo going to daycare full time?
Why cant he go to a preschool 3 mornings a week for now and then maybe 5 mornings a week next year?
I really dont understand this.
He has been with her as his primary caregiver for 3 years now hes getting booted out all day long until 6pm and she has his sibling.

He is four. Has been going part-time for the last year, now it's time for more.

You keep using "it's time for more" as a reason, when this is in fact not a reason. Why is it "time"? As far as I know, there's no widely accepted "time" for kids to be in school 8+ hours a day. So I'm just not sure why you keep saying this.

I have made this decision for my child - not all the children on the planet. That's all that really matters, and all the reasons you should need. I am not sure why you feel the need to question other people's childcare choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird set up but maybe it works for them. I agree you don't need to pay her more if the older child is never there. But you should also consider she may not currently be interested in being a FT newborn nanny. It's basically starting over in a new job and she may not want to do it at that rate, or at all.

I am not sure what you mean. She was OK taking care of a newborn full-time three years ago, at a lower rate. Why should she not be OK with it now, at a higher rate? What has changed so much that she doesn't want to do it "at that rate"?

[Anonymous]

She may have learned her labor is worth more.