Most parents don't know what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

People like you should keep looking to find whoever is eager to learn from you, or do it yourself.

Didn't need to do either, had a fabulous nanny who had lots of experience and listened to us, instead of a churlish internet know-it-all.

You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

20+. I didn't need to retrain her. She knew there is more than one way to achieve what we wanted and recognized she knew her craft but I knew my baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

20+. I didn't need to retrain her. She knew there is more than one way to achieve what we wanted and recognized she knew her craft but I knew my baby.

Maybe you knew your baby at birth, but once you're absent most of your baby's waking hours, it's the nanny who knows your baby best. Reading a log book at night, doesn't constitute "knowing" your baby, FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

20+. I didn't need to retrain her. She knew there is more than one way to achieve what we wanted and recognized she knew her craft but I knew my baby.

Maybe you knew your baby at birth, but once you're absent most of your baby's waking hours, it's the nanny who knows your baby best. Reading a log book at night, doesn't constitute "knowing" your baby, FYI.

Don't be ridiculous. The baby doesn't suddenly change into a blank slate upon nanny's arrival.

The nanny is there 9 am to 5 pm. The mother is there 5 pm to 9 am plus weekends plus the rest of his/her life. You do the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

20+. I didn't need to retrain her. She knew there is more than one way to achieve what we wanted and recognized she knew her craft but I knew my baby.

Maybe you knew your baby at birth, but once you're absent most of your baby's waking hours, it's the nanny who knows your baby best. Reading a log book at night, doesn't constitute "knowing" your baby, FYI.

Don't be ridiculous. The baby doesn't suddenly change into a blank slate upon nanny's arrival.

The nanny is there 9 am to 5 pm. The mother is there 5 pm to 9 am plus weekends plus the rest of his/her life. You do the math.

Good that you don't have a FT office job downtown. Most families with nannies aren't as lucky as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

20+. I didn't need to retrain her. She knew there is more than one way to achieve what we wanted and recognized she knew her craft but I knew my baby.

Maybe you knew your baby at birth, but once you're absent most of your baby's waking hours, it's the nanny who knows your baby best. Reading a log book at night, doesn't constitute "knowing" your baby, FYI.

Don't be ridiculous. The baby doesn't suddenly change into a blank slate upon nanny's arrival.

The nanny is there 9 am to 5 pm. The mother is there 5 pm to 9 am plus weekends plus the rest of his/her life. You do the math.

Good that you don't have a FT office job downtown. Most families with nannies aren't as lucky as you.

I do, a normal FT downtown office job with normal office hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You squandered your cash for an experienced nanny, only to retrain her? Brilliant. How many years did she have under her belt?

20+. I didn't need to retrain her. She knew there is more than one way to achieve what we wanted and recognized she knew her craft but I knew my baby.

Maybe you knew your baby at birth, but once you're absent most of your baby's waking hours, it's the nanny who knows your baby best. Reading a log book at night, doesn't constitute "knowing" your baby, FYI.

Don't be ridiculous. The baby doesn't suddenly change into a blank slate upon nanny's arrival.

The nanny is there 9 am to 5 pm. The mother is there 5 pm to 9 am plus weekends plus the rest of his/her life. You do the math.

Good that you don't have a FT office job downtown. Most families with nannies aren't as lucky as you.

I do, a normal FT downtown office job with normal office hours.

Your downtown office job is 9-5, and nanny works 9-5?
So you live downtown next door to your office job. Now we got it. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your downtown office job is 9-5, and nanny works 9-5?
So you live downtown next door to your office job. Now we got it. Thanks.

Don't tell me you've never heard of two-parent parents with staggered hours. Wife leaves at 8, husband leaves at 9 sort of thing?

[Anonymous]

Two-parent families.

[Anonymous]

Most nannies I know, work such long hours, that they DO care for the child more waking hours, then the parents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies I know, work such long hours, that they DO care for the child more waking hours, then the parents do.

How odd. Most nanny employers I know get back home by 6 pm at the latest. Most nannies I know also aren't willing to work much beyond 6 pm, which is completely understandable. (They also use their commas properly.)

Might that be a problem of your social circle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies I know, work such long hours, that they DO care for the child more waking hours, then the parents do.

How odd. Most nanny employers I know get back home by 6 pm at the latest. Most nannies I know also aren't willing to work much beyond 6 pm, which is completely understandable. (They also use their commas properly.)

Might that be a problem of your social circle?

What you seem to "know," is what certain people tell you. I highly doubt you're there to see the facts for yourself, but suit yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies I know, work such long hours, that they DO care for the child more waking hours, then the parents do.

How odd. Most nanny employers I know get back home by 6 pm at the latest. Most nannies I know also aren't willing to work much beyond 6 pm, which is completely understandable. (They also use their commas properly.)

Might that be a problem of your social circle?

What you seem to "know," is what certain people tell you. I highly doubt you're there to see the facts for yourself, but suit yourself.

Isn't this how we all know things? By what people tell us? How is it that you know what hours nannies work? I doubt you're there for all of them every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies I know, work such long hours, that they DO care for the child more waking hours, then the parents do.

How odd. Most nanny employers I know get back home by 6 pm at the latest. Most nannies I know also aren't willing to work much beyond 6 pm, which is completely understandable. (They also use their commas properly.)

Might that be a problem of your social circle?

What you seem to "know," is what certain people tell you. I highly doubt you're there to see the facts for yourself, but suit yourself.

Isn't this how we all know things? By what people tell us? How is it that you know what hours nannies work? I doubt you're there for all of them every day.

Considering the fact that I've been honored to have a good number of nanny jobs over the years, I have the benefit of speaking from firsthand experience.

That's what's commonly referred to as truly "knowing," when you aren't depending on someone else's experience/interpretation to understand something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies I know, work such long hours, that they DO care for the child more waking hours, then the parents do.

How odd. Most nanny employers I know get back home by 6 pm at the latest. Most nannies I know also aren't willing to work much beyond 6 pm, which is completely understandable. (They also use their commas properly.)

Might that be a problem of your social circle?

What you seem to "know," is what certain people tell you. I highly doubt you're there to see the facts for yourself, but suit yourself.

Isn't this how we all know things? By what people tell us? How is it that you know what hours nannies work? I doubt you're there for all of them every day.

Considering the fact that I've been honored to have a good number of nanny jobs over the years, I have the benefit of speaking from firsthand experience.

That's what's commonly referred to as truly "knowing," when you aren't depending on someone else's experience/interpretation to understand something.

Let me put it that way. When my friends tell me they get home to relieve the nanny by 6 pm, I don't need experience or interpretation to back that up, I simply have no reason to doubt it. I don't need to be at their house with the stopwatch. It's kind of a stupid argument with you trying to prove to me that they are just pretending to work shorter hours and are really buried at the office till midnight with the nanny standing guard at home.

I have no doubt you've known nannies who work long hours. Likewise, you have no reason to doubt that I know nanny employers who work regular hours. Your work experience, rich and varied as it may be, doesn't cover every single job on the face of the earth. You're just one nanny out of a hundred thousand. Don't pretend that the world of nannydom contains no other experience but your own.
I have