Most parents don't know what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

Wow. As a parent, you should know you can tell a sitter anything you want. Just don't try to pull that with an experienced nanny. Doesn't work. You need to be honest with yourself and your caregiver. That's all.

That is why we send our kids to a great preschool and have a separate housekeeper. I don't need a nanny with an ego problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

It's not that professional nannies don't want to take direction from you.
I was a nanny for a family for over 5 years. we had a wildly successful relationship filled with mutual respect and communicaion. i was always sure to ask my MB what her goals for her children were. I respect what she wants and she understood that there are many, many ways to get there. Not just hers. THAT is why I stayed for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

Wow. As a parent, you should know you can tell a sitter anything you want. Just don't try to pull that with an experienced nanny. Doesn't work. You need to be honest with yourself and your caregiver. That's all.

That is why we send our kids to a great preschool and have a separate housekeeper. I don't need a nanny with an ego problem.[/quote

It has nothing to do with ego. It's about knowing your value and knowing that you have enough value to command a certain degree of autonomy in your job. A nanny isn't for everyone. There are pros and cons to every childcare situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

Wow. As a parent, you should know you can tell a sitter anything you want. Just don't try to pull that with an experienced nanny. Doesn't work. You need to be honest with yourself and your caregiver. That's all.

That is why we send our kids to a great preschool and have a separate housekeeper. I don't need a nanny with an ego problem.

It has nothing to do with ego. It's about knowing your value and knowing that you have enough value to command a certain degree of autonomy in your job. A nanny isn't for everyone. There are pros and cons to every childcare situation.

[Anonymous]

You are a whiner and a brat. A true professional knows how to take direction. No job is ideal. Or did your mommy forget to teach you that? Dont you think EVERYONE takes directions from their employer, even "professionals"? I hope you get fired, you are a child yourself and should not be in charge of other people's kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

Wow. As a parent, you should know you can tell a sitter anything you want. Just don't try to pull that with an experienced nanny. Doesn't work. You need to be honest with yourself and your caregiver. That's all.

That is why we send our kids to a great preschool and have a separate housekeeper. I don't need a nanny with an ego problem.[/quote

It has nothing to do with ego. It's about knowing your value and knowing that you have enough value to command a certain degree of autonomy in your job. A nanny isn't for everyone. There are pros and cons to every childcare situation.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

Wow. As a parent, you should know you can tell a sitter anything you want. Just don't try to pull that with an experienced nanny. Doesn't work. You need to be honest with yourself and your caregiver. That's all.

That is why we send our kids to a great preschool and have a separate housekeeper. I don't need a nanny with an ego problem.

A nanny isn't a housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a whiner and a brat. A true professional knows how to take direction. No job is ideal. Or did your mommy forget to teach you that? Dont you think EVERYONE takes directions from their employer, even "professionals"? I hope you get fired, you are a child yourself and should not be in charge of other people's kids.

I can speak only for myself in that I've been blessed to have had a good number
of ideal jobs.

Professionals seek to understand and agree on overall RESULTS. The professional determines how to best achieve said results. Why would any intellegent parent waste good money on an experienced professional when you can get a newbie for half the price? Such a person will obiediently wait for your every command, because she doesn't know what to do, until you tell her.

[Anonymous]

Well, then, I suppose it depends on what you think the goals are. Here's a goal: I want my children to have healthy eating habits. So, yes, I will "micromanage" a nanny who insists on feeding my children jelly sandwiches for lunch.

Or, how about this? My goal is for my children to have appropriate social experiences. So, when you insist on taking my child on playdates where the children are wildly different ages, I don't know the other family, and the only real reason for the playdate is that you know the other nanny, you had better believe I am going to say you can't take my child until I discuss with the other family whether they are open to this playdate given the huge disparity in ages. And when you take my kid anyway and tell my kid to lie to me about going there (three year olds are not great at lying under direction), then you had better believe I am going to fire you.

The two nannies I have had with the biggest "don't tell me how to do my job; I'm a professional" attitudes are the two in the examples above. I fired both of them.

Respect is a two-way street. The OP needs to learn that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, then, I suppose it depends on what you think the goals are. Here's a goal: I want my children to have healthy eating habits. So, yes, I will "micromanage" a nanny who insists on feeding my children jelly sandwiches for lunch.

Or, how about this? My goal is for my children to have appropriate social experiences. So, when you insist on taking my child on playdates where the children are wildly different ages, I don't know the other family, and the only real reason for the playdate is that you know the other nanny, you had better believe I am going to say you can't take my child until I discuss with the other family whether they are open to this playdate given the huge disparity in ages. And when you take my kid anyway and tell my kid to lie to me about going there (three year olds are not great at lying under direction), then you had better believe I am going to fire you.

The two nannies I have had with the biggest "don't tell me how to do my job; I'm a professional" attitudes are the two in the examples above. I fired both of them.

Respect is a two-way street. The OP needs to learn that.

You obviously didn't hire professionals. You also weren't thorough in checking references.
Comparing every professional nanny to the two morons you hired is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of thread that really damages this forum.

If I were coming here to learn how to hire a nanny I would run for the nearest daycare center and never consider the nanny option again.

This whole conversation reflects the worst of this forum, but happily, in my experience, doesn't at all reflect how great the nanny/employer relationship can be.

[Anonymous]

Just a fun observation- So many MBs on DCUM say "I would never hire any nanny who visits DCUM. You're all entitled, rude and unprofessional." I am one of those nannies. The funny thing about it is that every single time I log into Care.com or Sittercity, I have 5 or 6 new messages from parents. I've found jobs through agencies and have to turn down interviews. Just goes to show...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

A good nanny won't take your bullshit and micromanaging and will drop you like a bad habit. You'll be left with people who can't find anything better. A good nanny can ALWAYS find something better.
Personally, I would see you coming from a mile away. I have amazingly accurate a**wipe detector.

It sounds like your detector is taking a day off. You signed that contract after all, didn't you. You must have thought the family would work out for you, too. I'm afraid you just aren't the know-it-all model of well-starched efficiency you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a parent, I would be pissed if the nanny would not take direction from me. Please speak up so I can get rid of you and find other arrangements for my child.

Wow. As a parent, you should know you can tell a sitter anything you want. Just don't try to pull that with an experienced nanny. Doesn't work. You need to be honest with yourself and your caregiver. That's all.

That is why we send our kids to a great preschool and have a separate housekeeper. I don't need a nanny with an ego problem.

It has nothing to do with ego. It's about knowing your value and knowing that you have enough value to command a certain degree of autonomy in your job. A nanny isn't for everyone. There are pros and cons to every childcare situation.

You'll have some autonomy. But not complete autonomy. Even POTUS doesn't have that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

A good nanny won't take your bullshit and micromanaging and will drop you like a bad habit. You'll be left with people who can't find anything better. A good nanny can ALWAYS find something better.
Personally, I would see you coming from a mile away. I have amazingly accurate a**wipe detector.

It sounds like your detector is taking a day off. You signed that contract after all, didn't you. You must have thought the family would work out for you, too. I'm afraid you just aren't the know-it-all model of well-starched efficiency you think you are.

What are you talking about? What contract did I sign? Too much wine with lunch today Sweetheart?