Most parents don't know what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and this thread is hugely embarrassing; while I consider myself a professional, I will always defer to the parents' wishes....because they are the PARENTS and in the end, I will likely be a little blip in their lives. the nannies on here are so mean to MBs and there's no reason to accost them like this

A good professional nanny will NEVER cause HARM to a child, EVEN if the parents ask her to. Never, never, never. If you you, you're a doormat, not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All is good, especially when your judgement has some basis, beyond "I said so". That posture may be fine for your child, but not for your parenting partner who often is the primary caregiver. You must actually know a child before you automatically know what's best.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

[Anonymous]

Why would any parent want Grandma and a nanny to dance around a six month old baby all day? Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

That's all fine, just as long as you're the one doing your own parenting of your own children. See how easily your problem is easily solved?

Once you outsource, "experienced" people tend to know what works for them. Or you simply find someone who wants to be a nanny, and you train her yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

That's all fine, just as long as you're the one doing your own parenting of your own children. See how easily your problem is easily solved?

Once you outsource, "experienced" people tend to know what works for them. Or you simply find someone who wants to be a nanny, and you train her yourself.

*Pardon the double use of "easily," but you get the idea, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

That's all fine, just as long as you're the one doing your own parenting of your own children. See how easily your problem is easily solved?

Once you outsource, "experienced" people tend to know what works for them. Or you simply find someone who wants to be a nanny, and you train her yourself.

*Pardon the double use of "easily," but you get the idea, don't you?

I get that you think that, but I don't think it's about "what works for them."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

That's all fine, just as long as you're the one doing your own parenting of your own children. See how easily your problem is easily solved?

Once you outsource, "experienced" people tend to know what works for them. Or you simply find someone who wants to be a nanny, and you train her yourself.

*Pardon the double use of "easily," but you get the idea, don't you?

I get that you think that, but I don't think it's about "what works for them."

If only you knew. You really should listen in on some of the nanny chatter at the playgrounds. Like I said, if only you knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If only you knew. You really should listen in on some of the nanny chatter at the playgrounds. Like I said, if only you knew.

Is this the yardstick here? Nanny chatter at the playgrounds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If only you knew. You really should listen in on some of the nanny chatter at the playgrounds. Like I said, if only you knew.

Is this the yardstick here? Nanny chatter at the playgrounds?

You may call it what you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If only you knew. You really should listen in on some of the nanny chatter at the playgrounds. Like I said, if only you knew.

Is this the yardstick here? Nanny chatter at the playgrounds?

You may call it what you like.

I'm calling it bollocks - does that work for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

People like you should keep looking to find whoever is eager to learn from you, or do it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a doormat, I've never once been asked to cause harm to a child. that's ridiculous, where did that even come from?

I have been asked to spank a child. And of course I got a better job three days later, because I refused to "take direction" from the parents. They wanted someone educated and experienced, and that's what they got. They just forgot to say they also wanted a doormat nanny who would do anything they asked.

Yes, they are the parents, but that doesn't mean they can expect me to do ANYTHING that I KNOW is plain WRONG.

Your spanking example is miles removed from the usual, and benign, divergence of opinions about a myriad of childcare issues. It's not always about RIGHT and WRONG, now is it. Complete agreement on all aspects of childcare is impossible, and intelligent and well-meaning people can disagree on the best course of action. You may think that daytime naps shouldn't exceed two hours, and I may allow my child to nap for as long as he wants. You may want to give meals in a high chair, and I at a regular table. You may think that children shouldn't play outside when it's X degrees, and I may set this threshhold at X-10 degrees. You may want to introduce letters at 3, and I at 4. None of these choices will harm the child in any way, yet they are different. Since the child you care for doesn't happen to be yours, the mother's opinion should prevail, and it's not normal to think that a parent, no matter how much they respect your judgment, will respect it more than their own decisions.

People like you should keep looking to find whoever is eager to learn from you, or do it yourself.

Didn't need to do either, had a fabulous nanny who had lots of experience and listened to us, instead of a churlish internet know-it-all.