How do I tell the family I don’t want to work over 42.5 hours per week?

[Anonymous]

My legal status and pay are irrelevant to this post... I am an American citizen though and they never suggested a contract. The whole point of my post was that I just didn’t want to work late. And jeez being a lousy member of society? Oh Crime me a river please, and tell me again how horrible I am. I’m such a terrible person just because I don’t have taxes withheld

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work Monday-Friday 8:30 am- 5 pm. However, a lot of times I am asked to stay until 5:30 other times until 6:30. I typically don’t mind another half hour but working 8:30-6:30 can be mentally and physically exhausting for me and I don’t get paid over time after the 8.5 hours I work. Even if I were to get paid time and a half, I personally feel asking your nanny to stay later violates her schedule and personal life. Mainly because 9/10 times they’ll ask me right before I have to leave. Both parents have really busy work and the dad travels A LOT. how can I tell them I am not comfortable/willing to do more then half an hour after my scheduled time to leave? I don’t want to be insensitive or inflexible, but I never ask to come in later so why would they ask me to stay later? Maybe the schedule needs to be adjusted to 10 am -6:30. Any thoughts? I also feel if I keep working after 5 pm I will burn out quickly and be unhappy with the job

Email them both a note this weekend telling them that starting on Monday you can only do a max of 15 (or 30) min beyond your scheduled work time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My legal status and pay are irrelevant to this post... I am an American citizen though and they never suggested a contract. The whole point of my post was that I just didn’t want to work late. And jeez being a lousy member of society? Oh Crime me a river please, and tell me again how horrible I am. I’m such a terrible person just because I don’t have taxes withheld

You’re not a terrible person. But those of us who are law abiding have a difficult time slamming your employers for not being law abiding (by not paying you OT) when you fall into the same category (by not paying taxes). It’s unfortunate that they’re taking advantage of you, but the point is that when a nanny makes it known that s/he is willing to skirt the laws (by not being in the country legally/not paying taxes/engaged in any other form of deceit or cheating) in any way, s/he does her/himself a terrible disservice - the nanny families may think that they can then cheat the system (paying under the table/not paying overtime), too. It’s a cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My legal status and pay are irrelevant to this post... I am an American citizen though and they never suggested a contract. The whole point of my post was that I just didn’t want to work late. And jeez being a lousy member of society? Oh Crime me a river please, and tell me again how horrible I am. I’m such a terrible person just because I don’t have taxes withheld

I have zero sympathy for you if you don't pay taxes. NONE. I work for government agency that finds people like you, so enjoy it while it lasts. You are being a lousy member of society because you aren't contributing anything to the society from which you are taking. How do you think the roads you drive on and the public schools in your area and all the other "free" services that you enjoy are funded? They're funded by people who pay taxes. The fact that you don't pay taxes makes you a lousy member of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I think I’ll never want to stay late. 1. I’m always on time and have never asked to come in later or leave early. 2. I’ve never asked for a day off. I always make my appointments for Saturday’s because I know I have to work from 8:30-5. So for me, asking me to stay late is just a no. I feel like can’t say no though

I have a bunch of stuff that I plan around work, so when it’s time to go, I need to go. So, I understand your position.

I know it’s hard for some to say no (myself included!), but you have to start. Just make a sympathetic face and tell them sorry, but you actually have plans later and can’t stay today. Another thing I did with my employers was tell them I got an evening job. That has helped a bit with the lateness, and even prompted a small raise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My legal status and pay are irrelevant to this post... I am an American citizen though and they never suggested a contract. The whole point of my post was that I just didn’t want to work late. And jeez being a lousy member of society? Oh Crime me a river please, and tell me again how horrible I am. I’m such a terrible person just because I don’t have taxes withheld

I have zero sympathy for you if you don't pay taxes. NONE. I work for government agency that finds people like you, so enjoy it while it lasts. You are being a lousy member of society because you aren't contributing anything to the society from which you are taking. How do you think the roads you drive on and the public schools in your area and all the other "free" services that you enjoy are funded? They're funded by people who pay taxes. The fact that you don't pay taxes makes you a lousy member of society.

I agree. I hope OP and her employer get caught.

[Anonymous]

You can tell your employers whatever you want. You can't make them agree to it though. My guess is that they'll agree, and be back to being late in a week or two. Are you prepared to leave over this?

[Anonymous]

If they have the types of jobs where they regularly have to stay late, then they may need a nanny who can accommodate that schedule. It sounds like you aren’t a good fit for this particular job. Nothing wrong with that. The right nanny for them and the right job for you are out there somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they have the types of jobs where they regularly have to stay late, then they may need a nanny who can accommodate that schedule. It sounds like you aren’t a good fit for this particular job. Nothing wrong with that. The right nanny for them and the right job for you are out there somewhere.

They work from home and the mom sleeps until 11/12 so she doesn’t start her work until it’s really late . The baby is 6 months so she’s always sleep deprived. But I know if she woke up earlier she wouldn’t ask me to stay. And the father travels a lot so she asks me to stay late when he’s gone. She’s not with her kids all day so she doesn’t really need me to stay anywat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can tell your employers whatever you want. You can't make them agree to it though. My guess is that they'll agree, and be back to being late in a week or two. Are you prepared to leave over this?

They work from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I think I’ll never want to stay late. 1. I’m always on time and have never asked to come in later or leave early. 2. I’ve never asked for a day off. I always make my appointments for Saturday’s because I know I have to work from 8:30-5. So for me, asking me to stay late is just a no. I feel like can’t say no though

I have a bunch of stuff that I plan around work, so when it’s time to go, I need to go. So, I understand your position.

I know it’s hard for some to say no (myself included!), but you have to start. Just make a sympathetic face and tell them sorry, but you actually have plans later and can’t stay today. Another thing I did with my employers was tell them I got an evening job. That has helped a bit with the lateness, and even prompted a small raise!

Won’t his make them think that it’s too much for me to handle ? I was thinking of saying I had an evening job bc I have a lot of loans to pay for school. But won’t this make them think that I might have no energy or be too tired to work so much? Also I feel like this might make them think I have less commitment to their job. If they can give me hours after I work they might also think that I shouldn’t have gotten a second job if they can give me hours? I was also planning on saying that I have a weekend job so I can’t stay late during the week bc of errands etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have the types of jobs where they regularly have to stay late, then they may need a nanny who can accommodate that schedule. It sounds like you aren’t a good fit for this particular job. Nothing wrong with that. The right nanny for them and the right job for you are out there somewhere.

They work from home and the mom sleeps until 11/12 so she doesn’t start her work until it’s really late . The baby is 6 months so she’s always sleep deprived. But I know if she woke up earlier she wouldn’t ask me to stay. And the father travels a lot so she asks me to stay late when he’s gone. She’s not with her kids all day so she doesn’t really need me to stay anywat.

I would sleep late, too! That's why she has a nanny. If you don't want to stay late, say so, but stop acting like they're awful people for wanting a nanny who can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I think I’ll never want to stay late. 1. I’m always on time and have never asked to come in later or leave early. 2. I’ve never asked for a day off. I always make my appointments for Saturday’s because I know I have to work from 8:30-5. So for me, asking me to stay late is just a no. I feel like can’t say no though

I have a bunch of stuff that I plan around work, so when it’s time to go, I need to go. So, I understand your position.

I know it’s hard for some to say no (myself included!), but you have to start. Just make a sympathetic face and tell them sorry, but you actually have plans later and can’t stay today. Another thing I did with my employers was tell them I got an evening job. That has helped a bit with the lateness, and even prompted a small raise!

Won’t his make them think that it’s too much for me to handle ? I was thinking of saying I had an evening job bc I have a lot of loans to pay for school. But won’t this make them think that I might have no energy or be too tired to work so much? Also I feel like this might make them think I have less commitment to their job. If they can give me hours after I work they might also think that I shouldn’t have gotten a second job if they can give me hours? I was also planning on saying that I have a weekend job so I can’t stay late during the week bc of errands etc

But the real reason is that you just want to leave on time.

When you give people excuses, they take that as an invitation to solve the problem. You're going to be even more irritated after this conversation, is my prediction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they have the types of jobs where they regularly have to stay late, then they may need a nanny who can accommodate that schedule. It sounds like you aren’t a good fit for this particular job. Nothing wrong with that. The right nanny for them and the right job for you are out there somewhere.

They work from home and the mom sleeps until 11/12 so she doesn’t start her work until it’s really late . The baby is 6 months so she’s always sleep deprived. But I know if she woke up earlier she wouldn’t ask me to stay. And the father travels a lot so she asks me to stay late when he’s gone. She’s not with her kids all day so she doesn’t really need me to stay anywat.

I would sleep late, too! That's why she has a nanny. If you don't want to stay late, say so, but stop acting like they're awful people for wanting a nanny who can.

They’re not awful people, all I’m saying is they can’t expect me to stay late when I’m always on time and never ask to leave early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I think I’ll never want to stay late. 1. I’m always on time and have never asked to come in later or leave early. 2. I’ve never asked for a day off. I always make my appointments for Saturday’s because I know I have to work from 8:30-5. So for me, asking me to stay late is just a no. I feel like can’t say no though

I have a bunch of stuff that I plan around work, so when it’s time to go, I need to go. So, I understand your position.

I know it’s hard for some to say no (myself included!), but you have to start. Just make a sympathetic face and tell them sorry, but you actually have plans later and can’t stay today. Another thing I did with my employers was tell them I got an evening job. That has helped a bit with the lateness, and even prompted a small raise!

Won’t his make them think that it’s too much for me to handle ? I was thinking of saying I had an evening job bc I have a lot of loans to pay for school. But won’t this make them think that I might have no energy or be too tired to work so much? Also I feel like this might make them think I have less commitment to their job. If they can give me hours after I work they might also think that I shouldn’t have gotten a second job if they can give me hours? I was also planning on saying that I have a weekend job so I can’t stay late during the week bc of errands etc

But the real reason is that you just want to leave on time.

When you give people excuses, they take that as an invitation to solve the problem. You're going to be even more irritated after this conversation, is my prediction.

What do you mean I’ll be more irritated after this convo?