Nanny: “Let me do what I want or I’ll quit.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This nanny quit because her job changed and she did not want to accept the changes.

Where is the problem with that? Seriously, how in the world does that make her entitled?! I hope everyone on this board - nanny and working mother alike - is that entitled!!!

+ 1

+2

OP changed the terms of the job. The nanny doesn't like the changes. Anytime the conditions of employment change, an employee decides whether or not to keep working. That's not entitled, that's just how it works.

+3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d quit too.

Why? I’d be unhappy, and I won’t stay in a position where I’m unhappy. It’s that simple, really.

I’m sure Op can find a nanny willing to work with a SAHM, a toddler, a newborn and no outings. There is someone for everything, and you’ll find a good fit.

That being said, your pool of potential nannies may be very small. I’ve done this for years and no outings is a dealbreaker for many nannies. However, finding an older nanny or a nanny who doesn’t drive may be a good solution.

In the end, it’s no longer a good fit. I don’t think your nanny is irresponsible or immature. It was mature of her to let you know her plans.

I think a lot of employers are mistaken and believe because they pay us, they own us. We have as much of a right to end the working agreeement as you do.

+1....No truer words have been written on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d quit too.

Why? I’d be unhappy, and I won’t stay in a position where I’m unhappy. It’s that simple, really.

I’m sure Op can find a nanny willing to work with a SAHM, a toddler, a newborn and no outings. There is someone for everything, and you’ll find a good fit.

That being said, your pool of potential nannies may be very small. I’ve done this for years and no outings is a dealbreaker for many nannies. However, finding an older nanny or a nanny who doesn’t drive may be a good solution.

In the end, it’s no longer a good fit. I don’t think your nanny is irresponsible or immature. It was mature of her to let you know her plans.

I think a lot of employers are mistaken and believe because they pay us, they own us. We have as much of a right to end the working agreeement as you do.

+1....No truer words have been written on this thread.

+2

[Anonymous]

The "entitled" attitude comes from you, OP.

As others have stated, you changed her job description a LOT and her working conditions are now confined to the four walls of your house...with a newborn and a two-year-old. No, thanks.

Also, consider that YOU put HER in a tough spot...not the other way around. She merely responded to your new demands by letting you know that what you were asking was not okay with her. She is actually being very, very nice to give you the heads up that this is the reason for her seeking a new job...and she's giving you the courtesy of allowing you to reconsider if you want to keep her.
A "tight spot" would be telling you "yeah, I'm out...I got a new job and I start on Monday." This is not a tight spot. This is feedback that you don't like but that allows you to make an informed decision about what to do next.

[Anonymous]

Let her go. Find a new nanny who is happy with the terms you outlined. It is better to employ someone who is genuinely happy to be there rather than someone who is resentful. Plenty of nannies will find this gig appealing, depending on your compensation. Six months is a very short spell so if someone absolutely cannot go without driving excursions for six months, you don't need to deal with this.

Yes...let's just disregard any attachment the kid has made to this person and throw her out. Whatever, DC will get over it and like the new nanny just fine. And then you'll fire that one too when a new issue arises because you know best. Your poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let her go. Find a new nanny who is happy with the terms you outlined. It is better to employ someone who is genuinely happy to be there rather than someone who is resentful. Plenty of nannies will find this gig appealing, depending on your compensation. Six months is a very short spell so if someone absolutely cannot go without driving excursions for six months, you don't need to deal with this.

Yes...let's just disregard any attachment the kid has made to this person and throw her out. Whatever, DC will get over it and like the new nanny just fine. And then you'll fire that one too when a new issue arises because you know best. Your poor kid.

Nannying is a job, not a family membership. If the nanny doesn't want to disregard the attachment, she can stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let her go. Find a new nanny who is happy with the terms you outlined. It is better to employ someone who is genuinely happy to be there rather than someone who is resentful. Plenty of nannies will find this gig appealing, depending on your compensation. Six months is a very short spell so if someone absolutely cannot go without driving excursions for six months, you don't need to deal with this.

Yes...let's just disregard any attachment the kid has made to this person and throw her out. Whatever, DC will get over it and like the new nanny just fine. And then you'll fire that one too when a new issue arises because you know best. Your poor kid.

Nannying is a job, not a family membership. If the nanny doesn't want to disregard the attachment, she can stay.

To the NANNY and to the parents, sure. But tell that to your kid when you get rid of the one person he is most attached to! (Sorry to say it but it's true!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let her go. Find a new nanny who is happy with the terms you outlined. It is better to employ someone who is genuinely happy to be there rather than someone who is resentful. Plenty of nannies will find this gig appealing, depending on your compensation. Six months is a very short spell so if someone absolutely cannot go without driving excursions for six months, you don't need to deal with this.

Yes...let's just disregard any attachment the kid has made to this person and throw her out. Whatever, DC will get over it and like the new nanny just fine. And then you'll fire that one too when a new issue arises because you know best. Your poor kid.

Nannying is a job, not a family membership. If the nanny doesn't want to disregard the attachment, she can stay.

To the NANNY and to the parents, sure. But tell that to your kid when you get rid of the one person he is most attached to! (Sorry to say it but it's true!)

He's two. There will be oh, so many other adults in his life to whom he will get attached! Besides, if the nanny cared, she wouldn't have left, would she.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let her go. Find a new nanny who is happy with the terms you outlined. It is better to employ someone who is genuinely happy to be there rather than someone who is resentful. Plenty of nannies will find this gig appealing, depending on your compensation. Six months is a very short spell so if someone absolutely cannot go without driving excursions for six months, you don't need to deal with this.

Yes...let's just disregard any attachment the kid has made to this person and throw her out. Whatever, DC will get over it and like the new nanny just fine. And then you'll fire that one too when a new issue arises because you know best. Your poor kid.

Nannying is a job, not a family membership. If the nanny doesn't want to disregard the attachment, she can stay.

To the NANNY and to the parents, sure. But tell that to your kid when you get rid of the one person he is most attached to! (Sorry to say it but it's true!)

He's two. There will be oh, so many other adults in his life to whom he will get attached! Besides, if the nanny cared, she wouldn't have left, would she.


Just for clarification, the nanny already quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let her go. Find a new nanny who is happy with the terms you outlined. It is better to employ someone who is genuinely happy to be there rather than someone who is resentful. Plenty of nannies will find this gig appealing, depending on your compensation. Six months is a very short spell so if someone absolutely cannot go without driving excursions for six months, you don't need to deal with this.

Yes...let's just disregard any attachment the kid has made to this person and throw her out. Whatever, DC will get over it and like the new nanny just fine. And then you'll fire that one too when a new issue arises because you know best. Your poor kid.

Nannying is a job, not a family membership. If the nanny doesn't want to disregard the attachment, she can stay.

To the NANNY and to the parents, sure. But tell that to your kid when you get rid of the one person he is most attached to! (Sorry to say it but it's true!)

He's two. There will be oh, so many other adults in his life to whom he will get attached! Besides, if the nanny cared, she wouldn't have left, would she.


Just for clarification, the nanny already quit.

OP?

[Anonymous]

op you are insane and come off beyond obnoxious in your last post. It’s pretty much April, so you are expecting your Nanny to not go anywhere until September-October besides a park near your house? Really? I’d 100% quit too if my boss expected me to sit in the house all summer. I can understand not wanting the baby out for 6-8 weeks but after that is just insane. My last job was with 8 week old twins and a 2 1/2 year old. My mb WANTED and to take the kids out and encouraged weekly outings. The twins were 4 months old in May when the weather was nice and we did weekly trips to the zoo, playground, aquarium, museum, etc. I’d pop them in the double snap and go and they were 100% fine. Plus the toddler got to go out and be with other kids and play. I was with them for over 2 years as I loved that my boss treated me as a professional and trusted my judgement.

So you need to get over yourself and your 6 month rule or try and find a new Nanny but good luck with that because I don’t know one Nanny who would accept a job knowing they aren’t allowed out for 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op you are insane and come off beyond obnoxious in your last post. It’s pretty much April, so you are expecting your Nanny to not go anywhere until September-October besides a park near your house? Really? I’d 100% quit too if my boss expected me to sit in the house all summer. I can understand not wanting the baby out for 6-8 weeks but after that is just insane. My last job was with 8 week old twins and a 2 1/2 year old. My mb WANTED and to take the kids out and encouraged weekly outings. The twins were 4 months old in May when the weather was nice and we did weekly trips to the zoo, playground, aquarium, museum, etc. I’d pop them in the double snap and go and they were 100% fine. Plus the toddler got to go out and be with other kids and play. I was with them for over 2 years as I loved that my boss treated me as a professional and trusted my judgement.

So you need to get over yourself and your 6 month rule or try and find a new Nanny but good luck with that because I don’t know one Nanny who would accept a job knowing they aren’t allowed out for 6 months.

What's insane is reading the OP where it clearly says that the nanny can take the kids to the park, playground and playdates, but continue to insist that the nanny will be "stuck inside the house" just because it works better for your argument.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's insane is reading the OP where it clearly says that the nanny can take the kids to the park, playground and playdates, but continue to insist that the nanny will be "stuck inside the house" just because it works better for your argument.

No, what’s really insane is you coming back with the same argument that they’re not really stuck inside the house because of “park, playground, and play dates.” First of all, park and playground are the same freakin’ thing. Second of all, not having a variety of activities will bore both the nanny and the older child. Trust me, I’ve been down this road.

I know you’re going to say that the nanny is not supposed to be entertained because it’s work, but why would you want to purposely make someone resentful when they’re caring for your children? Not to mention you’d be completely disregarding the fact that a two year old’s entire routine will be entirely upended on top of welcoming a new sibling.

Children benefit from experience. There’s not much experience in staying in the house and going to the same park every damn day. Kids get bored, and when they get bored, things get pretty crazy.

Staying inside on a rainy day, or going to the local park a couple times a week, maybe a play date here and there, is totally fine! If that’s all there’s going to be in life, though, things are going to get dull pretty quickly. The parents know this, too, and that’s why on the weekends they’re going to be taking them not only to the park, but maybe to visit family, or to the zoo, out to run some errands, a relaxing drive, out to eat, etc.

The nanny put her feelings out there in a mature way, so maybe her and the parents can work something out. It doesn’t have to be the end of things. She certainly didn’t say, “Let me do what I want or I quit.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's insane is reading the OP where it clearly says that the nanny can take the kids to the park, playground and playdates, but continue to insist that the nanny will be "stuck inside the house" just because it works better for your argument.

No, what’s really insane is you coming back with the same argument that they’re not really stuck inside the house because of “park, playground, and play dates.” First of all, park and playground are the same freakin’ thing. Second of all, not having a variety of activities will bore both the nanny and the older child. Trust me, I’ve been down this road.

I know you’re going to say that the nanny is not supposed to be entertained because it’s work, but why would you want to purposely make someone resentful when they’re caring for your children? Not to mention you’d be completely disregarding the fact that a two year old’s entire routine will be entirely upended on top of welcoming a new sibling.

Children benefit from experience. There’s not much experience in staying in the house and going to the same park every damn day. Kids get bored, and when they get bored, things get pretty crazy.

Staying inside on a rainy day, or going to the local park a couple times a week, maybe a play date here and there, is totally fine! If that’s all there’s going to be in life, though, things are going to get dull pretty quickly. The parents know this, too, and that’s why on the weekends they’re going to be taking them not only to the park, but maybe to visit family, or to the zoo, out to run some errands, a relaxing drive, out to eat, etc.

The nanny put her feelings out there in a mature way, so maybe her and the parents can work something out. It doesn’t have to be the end of things. She certainly didn’t say, “Let me do what I want or I quit.”

+1