Am I rude for staying in a hotel?!
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Anonymous
Did I miss where the sil reached out to express regret for her heat of the moment email? |
Anonymous
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Well, if I had spent time preparing guest rooms - making sure the beds had fresh linens, any storage items were removed from the room and put away somewhere, clearing out dressers drawers, making room in the closets, dusting, vacuuming, making sure the guest shower had soap/shampoo, Kleenex, toilet paper, etc....
And then the guests called to say..."Eh, I think I'll just stay in a hotel this time around." I would be aggravated. |
Anonymous
Were these fresh linens or just washed and put back on the last time you did the sheets. Like really really fresh? Not dusty? |
Anonymous
Fresh. As in freshly washed. Also, the host may have bought food in preparation for her house guests. Maybe she made some special meals in advance and popped them into the freezer to enjoy during their visit. It's hard to meal plan if you don't know when they'll be there or if they've eaten beforehand at the hotel, etc. Don't get me wrong, I think that there is nothing wrong with staying in a hotel. But tell the host well in advance so that she doesn't waste her time preparing her house for you. |
Anonymous
This makes me so mad! My parents complained and complained that we never visit them. When we finally drove 10 hours to their 5,000 sqft house in the middle of nowhere, I found out that they hadn't bothered to set up a guest room! There were 2 twin beds for myself, my 6 foot tall husband and my daughter. I had to share a twin bed with my daughter - it was horrible! They got mad when we booked a hotel the second night. After driving that long, we needed a good nights sleep before we could tackle that drive again. Never again! |
Anonymous
| Op????? Fill us in with history please. |
Anonymous
| There has to be more to the story - I would never be upset or offended if an out of town family member chose to stay in a hotel, and I say this as someone from a family that bunks together. Your SIL is worked up about a nonissue. |
Anonymous
This. |
doodlebug
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This is a different scenario than the one OP described...didn't she say something about air mattresses in a play room? (I'm too lazy and caffeine deprived to go back and look....going to find some coffee.) |
Anonymous
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Even air mattresses in the play room require the host to organize the playroom, probably move toy boxes, furniture, toys around to accommodate the air mattresses. You still have the logistics of buying food/making meals to feed to overnight guests. Cleaning the guest bathroom, making sure that there are toiletries, toilet paper, tissue, etc on hand.
Now, if SIL is really and truly going through NO trouble for her guests - sending them to the store for their own food and telling them to haul the air mattresses out of the garage to blow up....see if you can clear a place over by the toy chest.... That's a different story of course. |
Anonymous
| The real issue is timing. If the tradition is that you all stay at the host's home, it is reasonable of rate host to have expected that unless you let her know in a timely manner. Did you just tell her in the past few days? If so, that's just rude. Also, your sister and you staying at the same hate seems to be moving the party elsewhere, or may feel that way if the first time the hostess hears about the visit not being truly at her house was via a relatively late announcement. The OP hasn't said anything to make us think that the SIL forces, or even pressures anyone to stay at there place. It's not as though a passive aggressive, and late, revolt was required. |
Anonymous
| PP here. And if SIL is responding in this way, you can be pretty sure she doesn't like you and is merely putting up with this whole Thanksgiving ritual for her husband and kids, and now she may feel like her kids have been let down because the visit isn't what it had been planned for. SIL may be thinking, well, crap, I just do this so my kids have time with cousins, and now that will be minimized, so why am I doing all the cleaning and cooking for my inlaws again? At least you guys can now just acknowledge that you don't like each other, and you can establish wholly new traditions. |
Anonymous
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"typical or you" can mean a lot of things. She's saying there is a pattern of something ... (dcum would not know what this is) OR SIL is taking the liberty of teasing you, poking fun about something which means she thinks there is an easier give and take to this relationship than you do
Regardless. It does not matter. You are entitled to a preference. However it is not smart of you to make this a point of discussion, to make it a big deal. And you already have by making a big deal that you thought it needed posting about here - - |
Anonymous
| typical of you |
Anonymous
| If there isn't enough space, there isn't enough space. How does being cramped and uncomfortable create family closeness? |