Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. I read them all. I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday. Going to talk it through with him but leaning towards saying nothing and trying to move forward.

What would make me even more despicable would be to let it happen again. I am going to learn from this and as pp says, put extra effort in being a better wife and mother.

I made a very bad decision but I don't know if all the parties - DH, myself and DC would be better off if I ultimately told DH and he decided to end our marriage.

I do need to explore why I allowed this to happen. I did have a moment of clarity and thought to myself, get out now why you have the chance but I didn't and I think a lot of that decision had to do with drinking.

I firmly believe I don't have an alcolohol problem. I honestly can't remember the last time I was intoxicated. Probably before DC was born. I was in the moment, mixed different types of liquor and didnt eat dinner plus my time zone was way out of whack. That being said, I take full responsibility for my actions and as I said, intend on working though this with a therapist but at this juncture I don't believe it is in anyone's best interest to tell.

For those who have asked about AP - I strongly believe he will not say anything. I see him maybe twice a year, we have no interaction other than these meetings every 6 months. He lives 5000 miles away.

It just the guilt and shame that I worry will eat away at me. But I have brought that on myself and will not ask for sympathy.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. I read them all. I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday. Going to talk it through with him but leaning towards saying nothing and trying to move forward.

What would make me even more despicable would be to let it happen again. I am going to learn from this and as pp says, put extra effort in being a better wife and mother.

I made a very bad decision but I don't know if all the parties - DH, myself and DC would be better off if I ultimately told DH and he decided to end our marriage.

I do need to explore why I allowed this to happen. I did have a moment of clarity and thought to myself, get out now why you have the chance but I didn't and I think a lot of that decision had to do with drinking.

I firmly believe I don't have an alcolohol problem. I honestly can't remember the last time I was intoxicated. Probably before DC was born. I was in the moment, mixed different types of liquor and didnt eat dinner plus my time zone was way out of whack. That being said, I take full responsibility for my actions and as I said, intend on working though this with a therapist but at this juncture I don't believe it is in anyone's best interest to tell.

For those who have asked about AP - I strongly believe he will not say anything. I see him maybe twice a year, we have no interaction other than these meetings every 6 months. He lives 5000 miles away.

It just the guilt and shame that I worry will eat away at me. But I have brought that on myself and will not ask for sympathy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One affair does not ruin a good marriage, unless you feel you have to confess. Confession, as other posters have noted, is selfish and useless.

What you can do is use the guilt you feel to put extra effort into your marriage. Let it fuel you to be a better person, wife and mother. Let it do something positive for you and the people around you. Be an adult, accept it, learn from it, and then move on. No one is perfect.

This! This! This!

And go to your grave with DCUM being the only ones you ever told.

She will always know she is a cheating whore.

As will a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're disgusting, OP. I'm single and can't find a nice guy, meanwhile ho's like you are married and unappreciative. I hope he finds out and dumps you, once a cheater always a cheater.

Your post says a lot about you and why you claim to not be able to find a nice guy. You know almost nothing about the OP and her relationship with her spouse, and yet you've tried and condemned her. You have the point of view of a teenager. That's why you struggle with finding a mate.

Well, we know she says that her husband is a good man, and her marriage is good. Yet she got drunk and screwed some other dude anyway.

I'd say she told us quite a lot.

Anonymous wrote:OP, stop thinking that this had anything to do with drinking too much. It might not have happened if you weren't drinking but the drinking didn't cause you to sleep with him.

Please understand that the decision was made long before the alcohol took affect. This might not make total sense right now but you will soon come to understand what I'm saying.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. I read them all. I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday. Going to talk it through with him but leaning towards saying nothing and trying to move forward.

What would make me even more despicable would be to let it happen again. I am going to learn from this and as pp says, put extra effort in being a better wife and mother.

I made a very bad decision but I don't know if all the parties - DH, myself and DC would be better off if I ultimately told DH and he decided to end our marriage.

I do need to explore why I allowed this to happen. I did have a moment of clarity and thought to myself, get out now why you have the chance but I didn't and I think a lot of that decision had to do with drinking.

I firmly believe I don't have an alcolohol problem. I honestly can't remember the last time I was intoxicated. Probably before DC was born. I was in the moment, mixed different types of liquor and didnt eat dinner plus my time zone was way out of whack. That being said, I take full responsibility for my actions and as I said, intend on working though this with a therapist but at this juncture I don't believe it is in anyone's best interest to tell.

For those who have asked about AP - I strongly believe he will not say anything. I see him maybe twice a year, we have no interaction other than these meetings every 6 months. He lives 5000 miles away.

It just the guilt and shame that I worry will eat away at me. But I have brought that on myself and will not ask for sympathy.

Anonymous wrote:I understand that you must have a load of guilt weighing on your heart at this moment. And it must be eating you alive. I hear you.

But do not this stupid mistake ruin you and your husband. And it WILL most certainly ruin you both if you disclose your indiscretion to him.

Why cause irreparable harm on a wonderful marriage? Why cause such a good person the worst kind of traumatic pain one can feel? What good can possibly come out of it?? ZERO, that's it. Nada.

Forgive yourself. Shoot...Punish yourself all you want.

But let this be a lesson to yourself and no one else.

What your husband doesn't know won't hurt him. In fact, it will kill him if he finds out.

There is already too much unhappiness, misery and suffering in the world as it is....What kind of person would want to add to this amount?

Do damage control and make a promise to yourself to count your loss, you've learned a hard lesson this time, stay true from today and ahead and do not EVER let this happen again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM. You are female. Because you cheated and say it was a mistake, it obviously was and your husband should just "man up" about it.

Whatever. You are the same piece of shit men are called out for being when they cheat for whatever reason. You should tell your husband only because he has a right to know you could be infecting him right now. Or, hopefully you'll get a nice heart attack or stroke from the immense pangs of guilt for hiding it.

Awww. Feeling a little inadequate after you found out your ex-wife left you for someone who is much better in bed? Poor little ex-DH.

Look. A typical DCUM female.

Man up. You want to look like a pussy in front of all of the DCUMers.

Anonymous wrote:I bet some company holiday party will be fun when the info slips out from a person or persons you didn't even know was aware of the affair. Good times are coming.