I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THAT is why you NEVER marry a woman who goes on "business trips". Because if she's attractive, she'll be drinking and be surrounded by charming horny guys. Just a fact. I've been one of those guys.

Dude, sorry this happened to you, but that is a HUGE over-generalization! I'm attractive, I travel for business all the time, and I am neither drinking nor surrounded by charming horny guys. I'm usually in my room working when not in meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - A man here who cheated on his wife, felt horrible, then lied about it for almost 15 years. When I finally confessed - it was HELL for both of us. One of the things that hurt her almost as much as my betrayal was that my wife was never given the chance to react in real time, I never gave her the option of ditching my lying cheating ass and finding someone better. I not only cheated on her and our marriage but I cheated out of the opportunity to make an honest opinion of whether to stay married to me. Insert knife, then twist... You have to own this, suffer the consequences, whatever they are, and then move on. Don't insult him further by lying just because you are a chicken shit (like I was). You did it, own it and deal with the consequences - then move on. Hopefully your marriage will survive.

If you were my husband and confessed about something that happened 15 years ago, I'd call you stupid for bringing that up (because you did it to make yourself make feel better, not me), and go on with our life.

When my DH and I were married, I told him that if he ever has a one-night stand with no intention of doing it again, then I hope he has enough brains to never let me find out because I don't want to know. I expect to be protected from this information.

Agree. I'm guessing he confessed to relieve himself of the guilt. He should have taken it to his grave. How horrible to make a spouse question every detail of the last 15 years of marriage.

This is not a universal view. Many spouses would want to know and would, indeed, expect to be told. I certainly would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THAT is why you NEVER marry a woman who goes on "business trips". Because if she's attractive, she'll be drinking and be surrounded by charming horny guys. Just a fact. I've been one of those guys.

Dude, sorry this happened to you, but that is a HUGE over-generalization! I'm attractive, I travel for business all the time, and I am neither drinking nor surrounded by charming horny guys. I'm usually in my room working when not in meetings.

I don't know. HBO's new show "Togetherness" featured just this scenario in their first season finale. It has to be common!

[Anonymous]

I have a different mindset towards this. Would rather my wife and I sat down and said, we are each other's primary partners and committed, by occasionally we like having sex with other people. But we would need to set rules-safe and no kissing. Why even deal with the potential of the lying and hiding? We all have desires and fantasies.

[Anonymous]

For the ladies who have a really large height difference with their man: Is sex awkward? Are there any positions that work better?

Also, is there a size difference that must be overcome? You know, down there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the ladies who have a really large height difference with their man: Is sex awkward? Are there any positions that work better?

Also, is there a size difference that must be overcome? You know, down there?

Sorry, meant to post this in the height difference thread

[Anonymous]

This is easy. OP, if your husband was on a business trip and cheated on you with some woman, would you want him to tell you? If yes, then tell him. If no, then to each his own. But I personally think that it'll blow up in your face if you don't tell him. The truth always comes out. Secrets don't remain forever. It's just the way it is. Oh, and karma is a b***h. If it were me, I would tell him.

[Anonymous]

Also, stop blaming the incident on your drunkenness. I don't care how drunk you are, you knew what you were doing. You made a conscious decision to have sex with another married man, WHILE YOU WERE MARRIED. You are not Jamie Foxx. You cannot blame it on the alcohol.

[Anonymous]

OP: any updates? How did things turn out? How are you doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: any updates? How did things turn out? How are you doing?

bump

[Anonymous]

Yea I am curious too as to how everything worked out. I found out my spouse had a one night stand on an overseas business trip while pulling up his email (I wish I never knew!) and I brought it up to him. I don't think I could've lived knowing that he cheated on me. But at the same time, this one time thing I kinda wish I never knew. But I always wonder if the cheater could live with themselves and never tell their spouse. I wonder if I screwed things up more by saying something.

[Anonymous]

Which cheater had the condom with them? Caught up in moment does not seem plausible

[Anonymous]

That is why you never marry a woman who travels for work.

[Anonymous]

Fake.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell. Don't do again.