I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

[Anonymous]

You certainly can't tell him in a PHONE CALL from OVERSEAS. How devastating and lonely for him.

Talk to a therapist. Maybe tell him when you're home. But you always hear how much it shifts the burden and guilt to the non-cheating spouse who is forced to decide if they can forgive, so you really would add more insult telling him like that.

[Anonymous]

It's unfair to tell your spouse with the sole purpose of easing your own guilt. I don't care of it's the man or woman who's stepped out. The advice is the same.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Okay will certainly not call DH. At a minimum I need to process this. If I ultimately don't end up telling him, what can i do? How can I make it up? I know I can't but could I try? We have a beautiful DS and I also feel guilty about that. He is only a toddler but he has a horrible disgusting mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently on a business trip overseas. Last night I got incredibly drunk and slept with a colleague. He is a foreign affiliate and I only see him twice a year. I do not have feelings for him. I was drunk and caught up in the moment. I have never ever cheated on my husband and I am just so devastated. I don't know what to do. Should I call my husband? I feel so sick over this. My husband is a good man and we have a good marriage. I would do anything to take it back. Has anyone been through anything similar? Can anyone offer me advice? Please help.

Don't tell your husband. Are you fucking kidding me???

Just don't do it again, but I don't need to tell you that.

[Anonymous]

If you think of yourself as a disgusting person, you're less likely to be able to resist doing it again. You made a mistake. Own it and move on without making it ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow if this was a man who was the OP the responses would be SO DIFFERENT. Interesting.

-Signed a Married Woman

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Okay will certainly not call DH. At a minimum I need to process this. If I ultimately don't end up telling him, what can i do? How can I make it up? I know I can't but could I try? We have a beautiful DS and I also feel guilty about that. He is only a toddler but he has a horrible disgusting mother.

You will get over it, but you do have to live with the guilt. Shit like this happens, it is part of the human experience. If you tell him, your marriage will probably be over. IMO that is NOT worth risking, especially since you used protection and he has no real way of finding out.

Stop calling yourself disgusting. You are not disgusting. You made a bad choice that could have had disastrous consequences. It happened, you can't change it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your husband because if he finds out, that loving marriage you think you have is OVER !

Quit blaming the drink. I could consume 5 bottles of wine, get drunk out of my mind and not part my legs for a stranger. You intended it to happen.

BTW, you do realize when you blame stranger sex on being intoxicated it is considered rape.

You are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Okay will certainly not call DH. At a minimum I need to process this. If I ultimately don't end up telling him, what can i do? How can I make it up? I know I can't but could I try? We have a beautiful DS and I also feel guilty about that. He is only a toddler but he has a horrible disgusting mother.

You will get over it, but you do have to live with the guilt. Shit like this happens, it is part of the human experience. If you tell him, your marriage will probably be over. IMO that is NOT worth risking, especially since you used protection and he has no real way of finding out.

Stop calling yourself disgusting. You are not disgusting. You made a bad choice that could have had disastrous consequences. It happened, you can't change it.

+1. Do not tell him.

[Anonymous]

I've done it. I didn't tell my man. I didn't feel guilty. It didn't affect my lust for or my love for my man. I had forgotten how good it felt to seduce a stranger and just walk away in the night with a smile on my face.

[Anonymous]

All you pps know that if this was a DH you would tell him he is a pig and an a-hole and that he had to tell his wife.

I cannot believe these responses.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to take care of your alcohol problem. Find a therapist as soon as you get home.

[Anonymous]

This OP would be KILLED if she were a man. Called disgusting etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you pps know that if this was a DH you would tell him he is a pig and an a-hole and that he had to tell his wife.

I cannot believe these responses.

Just posted the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not ever tell. And don't ever put yourself in that situation again.

+1