How irritated would you be?

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[Post New]05/09/2022 22:33
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Anonymous
Sounds like he needs to figure out transportation.

I would be pissed at the lack of respect.
[Post New]05/09/2022 22:36
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That's 3 hours a day of driving! No way can anyone just disappear for 3 hours a day without anyone noticing at work.

It’s 1.5 hours each day which is a lot, but it’s not 3.


It's 45 minutes one-way there, then another 45 back, then do it again for pickup.

OP said 45-minute round trip each way meaning 45 minutes in the morning for drop off and 45 minutes in the afternoon for pickup.
[Post New]05/09/2022 22:40
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Anonymous
Yes, I would be super irritated at him.

I think he figures since you work from home - that you can just up & leave whenever you want which is a fallacy in itself.

He needs to search + hire someone who would be willing to drive them to their camp as well as pick them up five hours later which may not be easy.

But he made this mess > he needs to figure out how to fix it.
[Post New]05/09/2022 22:53
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Anonymous
Nope. Explain to kids you’re sorry they’re disappointed but you cannot leave your job for 3 hours every day. Even if you could “make it work,” what kind of example are you setting for them that they can just blow off job responsibilities?

It’s one week they won’t get to do what they want. They’ll survive.
[Post New]05/09/2022 22:54
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.


They're too excited for that.

So?



Not op. But talk me through how it's okay to take your anger at your husband out in your kids and how you doing so will kit have any long-term repercussions for your relationship with them

^^^
another example of parents today not wanting to parent.


NP. This isn’t about parenting. It’s about teaching husband a lesson.

Honestly, iF it were me, I’d be irritated but I’d work with my spouse to find a solution. It’s not like it’s intentional to make your life miserable. He just misjudged.
[Post New]05/10/2022 10:06
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BlueFredneck
Member Offline
I'm guessing working from Starbucks/public wifi spot between 9:15-1:45 isn't an option.
[Post New]05/10/2022 10:12
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Anonymous
OP here. No, I'm not allowed to work in public (information security policy).

Taking vacation. I'll find something to do to entertain myself, I guess.
[Post New]05/10/2022 10:14
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Anonymous
I would be super annoyed. But I would also consider talking to my supervisor, saying I'll be offline/available by cell from X to X in the morning and afternoons, but I can log on earlier and later to make up that time. For one week, they may allow it rather than being out for a week.
[Post New]05/10/2022 10:34
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Anonymous
Yeah I would be annoyed.

My husband has signed my kids up for a few camps (it's a reversal of how our life normally goes because I'm a SAHM, but it happens when it's something to do with one of his interests, or he's friends with the dad of the kids' friends and they discussed it without the moms) and he always makes sure he can drive them or checks with me if we can split it or whatever. (This is getting them to sleep away camp in another state, or a longer drop off like the one you're describing.) For a local camp, I'll do all of the driving except in special circumstances. And actually he takes the kids to school in the mornings. (I have chronic fatigue syndrome and school start time is an hour earlier this year . . . it works well his early bird tendencies and work schedule.)

So often something small can feel emblematic of a larger problem. If things are going well in your marriage, you should be able to say, "Hey, you did this without checking and it's impossible for my schedule," and he should feel really bad. If he doesn't, then I'd wonder about the relationship overall.

[Post New]05/10/2022 11:39
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Nope. He signed them up, he needs to find a driving summer sitter to manage pick ups and the afternoons.


x 1000

- DH, father of 3
[Post New]05/10/2022 11:51
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Yeah I would be annoyed.

My husband has signed my kids up for a few camps (it's a reversal of how our life normally goes because I'm a SAHM, but it happens when it's something to do with one of his interests, or he's friends with the dad of the kids' friends and they discussed it without the moms) and he always makes sure he can drive them or checks with me if we can split it or whatever. (This is getting them to sleep away camp in another state, or a longer drop off like the one you're describing.) For a local camp, I'll do all of the driving except in special circumstances. And actually he takes the kids to school in the mornings. (I have chronic fatigue syndrome and school start time is an hour earlier this year . . . it works well his early bird tendencies and work schedule.)

So often something small can feel emblematic of a larger problem. If things are going well in your marriage, you should be able to say, "Hey, you did this without checking and it's impossible for my schedule," and he should feel really bad. If he doesn't, then I'd wonder about the relationship overall.



He should feel really bad and he should have known this would not work, unless this is a brand new position or something! Everything about your OP and follow up suggest a massive respect imbalance. Why isn’t your job “important “??? Why can’t he take off a single day day of work or go in later or something so this is not entirely on you? I think it’s good for the kids to have an activity but unilaterally deciding you will figure it out is disrespectful and something I would really struggle with.

My DH dramatically out earns me but he would never in a million years do this. And yes I do the vast majority of the child care planning which I prefer to this bizarre situation. Practically speaking could you talk to your manager about a situation where you take every other day off officially but actually work 5 hours those days or log in at night for the week? Eating a week of vacation would make me really upset. I really think your husband should do some of this.
[Post New]05/10/2022 12:12
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.


They're too excited for that.

So?



Not op. But talk me through how it's okay to take your anger at your husband out in your kids and how you doing so will kit have any long-term repercussions for your relationship with them


You are not “taking something out on your kid” when you tell them that, unfortunately the camp just won’t work out this year. Good grief.


Good grief yourself! You're punishing the kids because you and souse can't behave as adults that you think it's just " oh camp won't work out" let's me know all I need to about your " parenting" none of it good.
[Post New]05/10/2022 12:14
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: E honest op did you tell him summer plans were his responsibility?

And in the past when planning was yours did you run things by him first?


He knows I might as well be an hourly employee and that I'm pretty anal about being in the house during my work hours. And yes, I always run things by him, whether it's for scheduling or financial reasons.

To everyone else: camp is one week. Like I said, I am PRETTY sure I can get away with it. Just not 100%, and I have a lot of anxiety around getting fired (I've got a good gig here and few other prospects as a trailing spouse).


Okay it's one week. Get the time off now. They can't fire you for approved Time. And use the hours you aren't taking the kids to camp to do something nice for yourself

And chew DH out


Really not sure what a person could do between say, 9:30 am and 1 pm for themselves.


I could take a nap , get my nails or hair done catch up on a book or show . Watch TV shopping. See a movie. Go to a museum
[Post New]05/10/2022 12:32
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Anonymous
I would compromise and handle pickups at 2:00pm (take a late lunch break this week) and let DH to figure out drop offs.
[Post New]05/10/2022 12:34
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.


This
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