How irritated would you be?

[Anonymous]

Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Military community usually steps up and helps with kid stuff. Look into it.

This is only true on TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without running it by me, DH signed up our two DC's for a STEM day camp this summer. It runs 9-2, which conflicts with my work hours of 8-5. He is unable to drop off or pick up and doesn't see it as an issue since I work from home. Here's the problem, though: it's a 45 minute round trip each way, and yes, while there's only a 60-70% chance someone will notice I'm missing, I'm not sure how much grief I'll get if someone (read: manager) notices. I'm pretty irritated. Am I overreacting?

"Sounds like a great idea, hon. It doesn't work for me as far as work hours so I hope you can manage the pick up and drop off."

And then I would not say another word and make zero effort to figure this out.

Please please please do this OP! It might be hard if you’re not used to sticking up for yourself so if you want moral support ask here and we will cheer you on.

All this does is delay the crying and screaming and "Mom is an awful parent" until the day of. How does this solve anything?

[Anonymous]

Ugh I would be annoyed by him not discussing with you and not recognizing that it is just not possible with your work schedule.

My husband works from home and I work out of the house (military, actually!), but I ran all the camp options by him and I only considered things that were within a 15 minute drive of the house. We ended up picking one that's 8:30-4 but has after hours till 6, so it works for him.

I agree you should let him know you can't do the pick up/drop off and ask him to figure it out. Sitter, find a ride, grandparent visit?

Alternative would be that you take that week off and then take yourself to a spa or other nice destination every day that week- is the camp in an area you would actually want to hang out? I have a zillion days of vacation I never got to take during COVID so I would be tempted to take the kids to camp and drop off, then go wander around some museums, or go for a nice long walk in a pretty spot, and have a nice solo brunch every day. Like a solo staycation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Ok these are the sort of posts that are more disturbing than your OP. You have a solution that would work for you and the kids to a problem HE created and you think he’s going to give you a hard time for implementing it despite it being no issue for him? Red flag x 200000. Do this and he can get over it or solve it another way.

And this is the second reference to your work not being important or worth supporting. Why do you feel this way? Wanting to work is ok. Why is it acceptable to work for him but not you. I think your problems are bigger than this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Ok these are the sort of posts that are more disturbing than your OP. You have a solution that would work for you and the kids to a problem HE created and you think he’s going to give you a hard time for implementing it despite it being no issue for him? Red flag x 200000. Do this and he can get over it or solve it another way.

And this is the second reference to your work not being important or worth supporting. Why do you feel this way? Wanting to work is ok. Why is it acceptable to work for him but not you. I think your problems are bigger than this situation.

+1

[Anonymous]

Can you get some of your kids' friends to sign up for camp and have their parents handle the driving? Otherwise just find another camp, this will not be a major life disappointment for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

OK, you need to figure out why you’re such a sucker that you can’t see the problem with this statement. If you truly are falling for this guilt trip, individual therapy please.

It’s not neglecting your kids to find a camp that works with your employment schedule. They surely exist. Your problem here is that your husband does not think that your work is at all important or worth accommodating.

[Anonymous]

You all can't possibly all jobs are of the same importance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Ok these are the sort of posts that are more disturbing than your OP. You have a solution that would work for you and the kids to a problem HE created and you think he’s going to give you a hard time for implementing it despite it being no issue for him? Red flag x 200000. Do this and he can get over it or solve it another way.

And this is the second reference to your work not being important or worth supporting. Why do you feel this way? Wanting to work is ok. Why is it acceptable to work for him but not you. I think your problems are bigger than this situation.

It's always been more acceptable for the man to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Military community usually steps up and helps with kid stuff. Look into it.

This is only true on TV.

True where we have lived. We have hosted sleepovers and watched others kids for long weekends, dumped our kids at their homes, meal trains, baby showers, going away parties, promotion parties.
It takes an active group or a wise senior commander and spouse to drive it and fix moral of it isnt happening. It’s effort. As is building your village help and reciprocating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Just do it.

Does he get abusive if you don’t follow his (dumb) idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Ok these are the sort of posts that are more disturbing than your OP. You have a solution that would work for you and the kids to a problem HE created and you think he’s going to give you a hard time for implementing it despite it being no issue for him? Red flag x 200000. Do this and he can get over it or solve it another way.

And this is the second reference to your work not being important or worth supporting. Why do you feel this way? Wanting to work is ok. Why is it acceptable to work for him but not you. I think your problems are bigger than this situation.

It's always been more acceptable for the man to work.

Is this OP? If so why are you working? Because you want to is a good reason. Because you contribute significantly to your household expenses is a very good reason. I would not be ok with my kids watching tv all summer but that’s a conversation that happens between adults who solve a problem together. One person doesn’t just decide to tell the other person they are a bad parent. That’s absolutely not ok. If you don’t think you should be working it’s a different story but that’s not what it seemed from your OP. He doesn’t get to pick an incredibly inflexible job and then just expect you to deal and insult you along the way.

[Anonymous]

If you have to split it; make him do the morning drop offs.
Do not let him offer to do the pickup; it would be too easy for him to call you to do it because he’s busy.