Ramifications of marrying outside of your social class

[Anonymous]

They don’t work harder at school. The attendance rates and passing rates and honors and AP classes are all low. Many high schoolers have jobs making $10k a year. And no they don’t receive a better education at Langley than at a poorer school.

Then why are Langley High and McLean High consistently ranked higher than most other NoVA high schools when educational rankings come out? If the education is better at poorer schools, and all you need to do there is work harder, why don't you send your kids to these schools?

As you put it, they would get more brakes.

The poorer school always gets more money even when factoring in PTA funds. They also often have as good if not better teachers. It’s not the school. It’s the students. All I’m saying is that lifestyle has different expectations that carry forward into adulthood. If you want to be blind to it your choice.

They need more money because the parents at these schools do not receive the same level of donations that parents in wealthier districts can. Ever contributed to a Langley fundraiser for _____? How many of these do you think there are at the poorer schools.

Same question: IF they have as good if not better teachers and more money than Langley, why don't you send your kids to them?

You do not make any sense. Worse, you do not live what you preach. If so, your kids would be in the schools where you think the students are not as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They don’t work harder at school. The attendance rates and passing rates and honors and AP classes are all low. Many high schoolers have jobs making $10k a year. And no they don’t receive a better education at Langley than at a poorer school.

Then why are Langley High and McLean High consistently ranked higher than most other NoVA high schools when educational rankings come out? If the education is better at poorer schools, and all you need to do there is work harder, why don't you send your kids to these schools?

As you put it, they would get more brakes.

The poorer school always gets more money even when factoring in PTA funds. They also often have as good if not better teachers. It’s not the school. It’s the students. All I’m saying is that lifestyle has different expectations that carry forward into adulthood. If you want to be blind to it your choice.

They need more money because the parents at these schools do not receive the same level of donations that parents in wealthier districts can. Ever contributed to a Langley fundraiser for _____? How many of these do you think there are at the poorer schools.

Same question: IF they have as good if not better teachers and more money than Langley, why don't you send your kids to them?

You do not make any sense. Worse, you do not live what you preach. If so, your kids would be in the schools where you think the students are not as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What have been some downsides to marrying outside your social class?

I grew up UC/UMC and my dh grew up MC/LMC. There are some cultural differences that become annoying such as the following:

- He thinks everything is expensive and does not have reasonable ideas about cost and quality. He will always go for the cheapest thing
- Horrible taste in food. He will buy these frozen prepared foods from Wegmans and think it is healthy
- Dresses in graphic T-shirts and jeans and a baseball cap. ALL THE TIME!
- Has a chip on his shoulder about "rich people" and higher education

I buy some of the frozen prepared foods from Wegmans and they are perfectly good. Their frozen pizza is the best frozen pizzas I've ever had and is comparable enough to expensive boutique pizza places. I grew up solidly UMC and do understand the preference for quality, but don't knock Wegmans! It's not Aldi's!

Of all your comments, I'm a bit curious about the last one and his chip on shoulder. How did you meet him? Why did you marry him? Would it not be obvious enough early on in your dating years? I quickly filtered out anyone who seemed to have a bit of a class agenda in my dating years.

[Anonymous]

Someone implied that Rich Kids did more drugs and got in trouble more. They don’t.

Read the posts to which you are responding. Again, show me where I posted something like what you are saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What have been some downsides to marrying outside your social class?

I grew up UC/UMC and my dh grew up MC/LMC. There are some cultural differences that become annoying such as the following:

- He thinks everything is expensive and does not have reasonable ideas about cost and quality. He will always go for the cheapest thing
- Horrible taste in food. He will buy these frozen prepared foods from Wegmans and think it is healthy
- Dresses in graphic T-shirts and jeans and a baseball cap. ALL THE TIME!
- Has a chip on his shoulder about "rich people" and higher education

Social class? Are you from 1800's England? There is no social class and certainly no one is better than others for being lucky to have more opportunities. If someone thinks it makes them better, you don't want to be that person or their delusion of grandeur.

+1

Oh, there is social class. The mistake is thinking of class as having political power, which was the case for 18th century England. But we still have distinct socio-economic cultural groups. Someone from a poor family in a West Virginia hill town is going to have a very different outlook and cultural taste that someone who grew up in Chevy Chase and went to STA or Holton.

[Anonymous]

Having class, and social class are two completely different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They don’t work harder at school. The attendance rates and passing rates and honors and AP classes are all low. Many high schoolers have jobs making $10k a year. And no they don’t receive a better education at Langley than at a poorer school.

Then why are Langley High and McLean High consistently ranked higher than most other NoVA high schools when educational rankings come out? If the education is better at poorer schools, and all you need to do there is work harder, why don't you send your kids to these schools?

As you put it, they would get more brakes.

The poorer school always gets more money even when factoring in PTA funds. They also often have as good if not better teachers. It’s not the school. It’s the students. All I’m saying is that lifestyle has different expectations that carry forward into adulthood. If you want to be blind to it your choice.

They need more money because the parents at these schools do not receive the same level of donations that parents in wealthier districts can. Ever contributed to a Langley fundraiser for _____? How many of these do you think there are at the poorer schools.

Same question: IF they have as good if not better teachers and more money than Langley, why don't you send your kids to them?

You do not make any sense. Worse, you do not live what you preach. If so, your kids would be in the schools where you think the students are not as good.

You are not following the argument which is back to differences in social classes and people marrying down. And it’s breaks. Not brakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What have been some downsides to marrying outside your social class?

I grew up UC/UMC and my dh grew up MC/LMC. There are some cultural differences that become annoying such as the following:

- He thinks everything is expensive and does not have reasonable ideas about cost and quality. He will always go for the cheapest thing
- Horrible taste in food. He will buy these frozen prepared foods from Wegmans and think it is healthy
- Dresses in graphic T-shirts and jeans and a baseball cap. ALL THE TIME!
- Has a chip on his shoulder about "rich people" and higher education

He’s probably reacting in a passive-aggressive way to his discovery that you’re a
snob: noun

-a person with an exaggerated respect for high social position or wealth who seeks to associate with social superiors and dislikes people or activities regarded as lower-class.

-a person who believes that their tastes in a particular area are superior to those of other people.

Maybe if you ease up, he will too.

[Anonymous]

You are not following the argument which is back to differences in social classes and people marrying down.

Your hypocrisy is appalling. In an earlier post, you accused me of posting that Langley kids were druggies, without being able to show where I posted this statement.

Now, you accuse me of not following the argument. You need to support the word drool you post. You can see how to do so in an earlier post where I cited a study by the Urban Institute backing up what I posted.

Same question: IF they have as good if not better teachers and more money than Langley, why don't you send your kids to them?

You do not make any sense. Worse, you do not live what you preach. If so, your kids would be in the schools where you think the students are not as good.

You dodged this question because to answer it would make it even more clear that you are a hypocrite. Find some courage and answer this question.

Why don't you send your kids to the schools where you believe they would have so many advantages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t. This is not as much about innate abilities as it is about upbringing. Those classes btw are hard for the student too, not just money. It’s like an extra school. Granted I do believe more special Ed children are poorer because that’s what the studies show that trauma breeds born trauma, but it’s also about how people grow up and what standards they create for themselves as a result of their upbringing. I once met a woman from middle Virginia who said she got Ds in school but still got into UVA but then decided not to go and went to the local community college and became a hairdresser. In her 30s she had a boyfriend, not a husband. It was much easier to get into college from her school than Langley because UVA lowered their college readiness bar for her, but most kids from Langley don’t opt for her lifestyle. However you cut it Langley kids for the most part are not slackers and druggies and they are ready for college and ready to prepare their children for college.

lol, this woman lied to you.

[Anonymous]

Schools posters, please stop derailing this thread with your arguments and go start your own post under the schools header.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are not following the argument which is back to differences in social classes and people marrying down.

Your hypocrisy is appalling. In an earlier post, you accused me of posting that Langley kids were druggies, without being able to show where I posted this statement.

Now, you accuse me of not following the argument. You need to support the word drool you post. You can see how to do so in an earlier post where I cited a study by the Urban Institute backing up what I posted.

Same question: IF they have as good if not better teachers and more money than Langley, why don't you send your kids to them?

You do not make any sense. Worse, you do not live what you preach. If so, your kids would be in the schools where you think the students are not as good.

You dodged this question because to answer it would make it even more clear that you are a hypocrite. Find some courage and answer this question.

Why don't you send your kids to the schools where you believe they would have so many advantages?

I don’t send them to poorer schools because I don’t agree with the parenting and behaviors and academic achievements of the kids at those schools now do I want to live in an unsafe neighborhood. Has nothing to do with the principal or the teacher.

[taketothebank]

I don’t send them to poorer schools because I don’t agree with the parenting and behaviors and academic achievements of the kids at those schools now do I want to live in an unsafe neighborhood. Has nothing to do with the principal or the teacher.

The poster at 8:34 is right. These posts are derailing the thread.

I posted so that, if you have any guts, you can respond to this privately.

Finally, it is "nor" not "now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What have been some downsides to marrying outside your social class?

I grew up UC/UMC and my dh grew up MC/LMC. There are some cultural differences that become annoying such as the following:

- He thinks everything is expensive and does not have reasonable ideas about cost and quality. He will always go for the cheapest thing
- Horrible taste in food. He will buy these frozen prepared foods from Wegmans and think it is healthy
- Dresses in graphic T-shirts and jeans and a baseball cap. ALL THE TIME!
- Has a chip on his shoulder about "rich people" and higher education

you sound like an insufferable arriviste

[Anonymous]

taketothebank wrote:

I don’t send them to poorer schools because I don’t agree with the parenting and behaviors and academic achievements of the kids at those schools now do I want to live in an unsafe neighborhood. Has nothing to do with the principal or the teacher.

The poster at 8:34 is right. These posts are derailing the thread.

I posted so that, if you have any guts, you can respond to this privately.

Finally, it is "nor" not "now."

I already did answer. You just don’t like the response. After personal experience and those of my friends all of my friends who married upper middle class people are still married and those that married outside of their class are not. I wish I had married in my class and I love the upper middle class high school my kids attend. I have full custody and my kids barely want to see their other parent even if given the chance now that he’s decided to blow up his life and live like a poor person with bad habits. I have no interest in having them attend at a lower performing school even if those schools have better teachers. I’ve learned my lesson.