The Woke Police Mom

[Anonymous]

We have a tight group of families that gather often. We are all socially quite liberal and in general, really see eye to eye on most things. One family has a gender non-conforming child and over the last year, they have gotten extremely intense. They are constantly correcting us and pulling apart the things we say. For example, I had a ladybug on my cup and I made a silly comment like “She just wanted to have a cocktail!” And my friend corrected “They. You don’t know if they ladybug is a she.” 🙄 They also got upset because I described a pattern of fabric as “feminine”. It’s really exhausting and honestly, it’s misplaced. We are all loyal allies. I don’t know how to temper them without causing a riff in the friendship.

[Anonymous]

You are awake at 3:15 ruminating about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are awake at 3:15 ruminating about this?

Lol yes- breastfeeding will do that to ya

[Anonymous]

HA! I love it. I'm taking a quick break from work, overnight shifts are the worst. Enjoy that little babe! And hopefully once your friends have the chance to adjust to their child (is this a new development?) they'll cool their jets a little bit. Sounds annoying, but I can imagine I'd want my child to feel super supported by our family if that was the case in our house.

[Anonymous]

You should have immediately corrected your friend. Because you CAN tell if the ladybug is a she or a he. Was it red or brown?
(Animals don’t care about gender stereotypes, and as far as I know ladybugs are not hermaphrodites…)

[Anonymous]

I’d treat it with kindness, and maybe try to see things from their side. It’s obviously a very challenging time in her life, and what she’s saying isn’t wrong - you are using assumptive gender language to describe things. What makes a fabric feminine and why isn’t it just pink fabric with graceful yellow flowers and silver thread?

So, maybe without the judgment about her “wokeness”, challenge yourself own ideas about gender and language. Times are changing, whether you want them to or not, so utilize your friends knowledge and guidance to help get you caught up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d treat it with kindness, and maybe try to see things from their side. It’s obviously a very challenging time in her life, and what she’s saying isn’t wrong - you are using assumptive gender language to describe things. What makes a fabric feminine and why isn’t it just pink fabric with graceful yellow flowers and silver thread?

So, maybe without the judgment about her “wokeness”, challenge yourself own ideas about gender and language. Times are changing, whether you want them to or not, so utilize your friends knowledge and guidance to help get you caught up.

Why do the flowers have to be graceful? Why not resilient or adaptable?

[Anonymous]

She does it because she can. Why does she call herself mom and not parent? Will she have a gender for her non gender conforming child once child makes up mind?

Trans people very sexist with their definition of gender. They tell you how a girl or boy should be defined based on what they want to be.

They need lots support, love, understanding, but got stop dictating everyone else what think.

[Anonymous]

Does she correct you about other stuff too, or just this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a tight group of families that gather often. We are all socially quite liberal and in general, really see eye to eye on most things. One family has a gender non-conforming child and over the last year, they have gotten extremely intense. They are constantly correcting us and pulling apart the things we say. For example, I had a ladybug on my cup and I made a silly comment like “She just wanted to have a cocktail!” And my friend corrected “They. You don’t know if they ladybug is a she.” 🙄 They also got upset because I described a pattern of fabric as “feminine”. It’s really exhausting and honestly, it’s misplaced. We are all loyal allies. I don’t know how to temper them without causing a riff in the friendship.

You’re all woke, but she’s woker, and you don’t know where to draw the wokeness line!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She does it because she can. Why does she call herself mom and not parent? Will she have a gender for her non gender conforming child once child makes up mind?

Trans people very sexist with their definition of gender. They tell you how a girl or boy should be defined based on what they want to be.

They need lots support, love, understanding, but got stop dictating everyone else what think.

This is what I’ve never understood about trans people/the trans movement. They argue against stereotypes but insist on becoming one.

[Anonymous]

"Yes Larla, you have scolded me about that many times before." Then get up and move away from her. Put down your drink and go into another room. Leave the circle. Let her absorb that her performative wokeness has gotten to the point that it is derailing social conversation and making others uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Yes Larla, you have scolded me about that many times before." Then get up and move away from her. Put down your drink and go into another room. Leave the circle. Let her absorb that her performative wokeness has gotten to the point that it is derailing social conversation and making others uncomfortable.

+1 to the bold. It's exhausting and too much.

[Anonymous]

My brother saw a bunch of pirate toys in a store and told me “they walked right by the boy toys” He actually wanted his daughter to see them because she loves pirate stuff. So his daughter loves pirate stuff, then he calls them boy toys? Maybe the feminine/masculine stuff does need to be revised a little. You say that enough around a little girl, they may feel ashamed or not allowed to like things that someone tells them isn’t “for” their gender.

But the ladybug thing is a little much

Just my opinion

[Anonymous]

Their child is probably not actually gender non-conforming at all but has likely picked up clues that one way to win parental approval is to act that way.