The Woke Police Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using the term "wokeness" means you lose all credibilty.

Go back to your hole. You are an idiot. And get yourself a dictionary before posting again.

Dicitionary.com is easy to read.

The woke don’t like being named, because once something is identified, it can be resisted. Recall that many once proudly self-identified as woke, until it became a political liability. It describes a real, if silly, stance about many issues and is a highly useful term. Sorry it makes you big mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Floral fabric IS feminine.

If anyone disagrees, fine, but I'm avoiding future contact. My feminine world won't be erased by anyone. If I am the last female on earth, with the last feminine pink floral poof, so be it. I will be that feminist warrior.

+1.

The central irony is that the most prominent way in recent years that we've seen that masculinity and femininity can be important, valued, definable characteristics is through the experiences of trans people. Not to lump trans and woke and gender-is-but-a-construct all together, but when someone assigned female at birth says that they don't feel at home in that body, we don't say, "oh, but gender is just a social construct, it's meaningless, so tsk tsk for you wanting to 'identify' as something that's a made-up construct." Instead we (hopefully, at least) embrace it and support their transition.

It's okay for things to be perceived as masculine and feminine; it's not okay to think that one is universally better or universally worse. But you wouldn't know that from knee-jerk people who say, "oh flowers are delicate and feminine!? Why can't they be tough, resilient, and masculine!?" Like, if that's your reaction to someone using the term, you're the one applying a value judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d treat it with kindness, and maybe try to see things from their side. It’s obviously a very challenging time in her life, and what she’s saying isn’t wrong - you are using assumptive gender language to describe things. What makes a fabric feminine and why isn’t it just pink fabric with graceful yellow flowers and silver thread?

So, maybe without the judgment about her “wokeness”, challenge yourself own ideas about gender and language. Times are changing, whether you want them to or not, so utilize your friends knowledge and guidance to help get you caught up.

Her point is that sometimes her friend is wrong. Like with the ladybug. It isn't a Theybug.

OP here- no, my point is more that I think thoughtful discussion surrounding these issues can be really beneficial to all in helping them grow. But correcting/scolding/interrupting/harping on trivial details is not a way to help people grow or be better humans- which is kind of the point!

Okay, but here you are, proposing to be more right.

Do you want to be right, or do you want to grow and learn? And are you willing to look at / examine your own ideas and bias to figure that out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Floral fabric IS feminine.

If anyone disagrees, fine, but I'm avoiding future contact. My feminine world won't be erased by anyone. If I am the last female on earth, with the last feminine pink floral poof, so be it. I will be that feminist warrior.

Which is precisely why you will hardly see, if ever, transgender boys or men wearing floral patterns. You will probably see more trans girls/women wearing floral fabrics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Floral fabric IS feminine.

If anyone disagrees, fine, but I'm avoiding future contact. My feminine world won't be erased by anyone. If I am the last female on earth, with the last feminine pink floral poof, so be it. I will be that feminist warrior.

Which is precisely why you will hardly see, if ever, transgender boys or men wearing floral patterns. You will probably see more trans girls/women wearing floral fabrics.

Because trans people are all about reinforcing gender stereotypes, just in different bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d treat it with kindness, and maybe try to see things from their side. It’s obviously a very challenging time in her life, and what she’s saying isn’t wrong - you are using assumptive gender language to describe things. What makes a fabric feminine and why isn’t it just pink fabric with graceful yellow flowers and silver thread?

So, maybe without the judgment about her “wokeness”, challenge yourself own ideas about gender and language. Times are changing, whether you want them to or not, so utilize your friends knowledge and guidance to help get you caught up.

Her point is that sometimes her friend is wrong. Like with the ladybug. It isn't a Theybug.

OP here- no, my point is more that I think thoughtful discussion surrounding these issues can be really beneficial to all in helping them grow. But correcting/scolding/interrupting/harping on trivial details is not a way to help people grow or be better humans- which is kind of the point!

Okay, but here you are, proposing to be more right.

Do you want to be right, or do you want to grow and learn? And are you willing to look at / examine your own ideas and bias to figure that out?

NP. About a ladybug? If someone did that to me, I'd probably tell them they're nuts. It's an effing bug, who cares? I'll examine my ideas and biases when it's pertinent. Not constantly and in situations that are completely irrelevant. Nor will I be lectured under those circumstances.

[Anonymous]

I would have smashed the ladybug and said oh my now we call it dead.

[Anonymous]

If it’s real annoying I would distance myself. Maybe seeing her less will make it easier to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Floral fabric IS feminine.

If anyone disagrees, fine, but I'm avoiding future contact. My feminine world won't be erased by anyone. If I am the last female on earth, with the last feminine pink floral poof, so be it. I will be that feminist warrior.

Which is precisely why you will hardly see, if ever, transgender boys or men wearing floral patterns. You will probably see more trans girls/women wearing floral fabrics.

I've worked closely with two trans women. They were both extremely feminine, in a way that the other women were not in the workplace (in a male dominated industry). Engaging in behavior that most women avoid at work/in meetings. Think twirling long hair around your fingers, that kind of thing. Dressing in a way that is very feminine--like flowy floral dresses (before the prairie dress fashion) in a business that was usually suits and muted colors. It was rather interesting to see.

[Anonymous]

Sounds exhausting. I would distance myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Floral fabric IS feminine.

If anyone disagrees, fine, but I'm avoiding future contact. My feminine world won't be erased by anyone. If I am the last female on earth, with the last feminine pink floral poof, so be it. I will be that feminist warrior.

+1.

The central irony is that the most prominent way in recent years that we've seen that masculinity and femininity can be important, valued, definable characteristics is through the experiences of trans people. Not to lump trans and woke and gender-is-but-a-construct all together, but when someone assigned female at birth says that they don't feel at home in that body, we don't say, "oh, but gender is just a social construct, it's meaningless, so tsk tsk for you wanting to 'identify' as something that's a made-up construct." Instead we (hopefully, at least) embrace it and support their transition.

It's okay for things to be perceived as masculine and feminine; it's not okay to think that one is universally better or universally worse. But you wouldn't know that from knee-jerk people who say, "oh flowers are delicate and feminine!? Why can't they be tough, resilient, and masculine!?" Like, if that's your reaction to someone using the term, you're the one applying a value judgment.

I hear you but why is that word so triggering? Where do we draw the line between thoughtfully selecting our own choice of words and controlling the language of others? If something is overtly racist or offensive, that is one thing. But a more nuanced choice of words...why not just let it go and decide that you would word that differently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can see in this thread some of the attitudes that your friend is likely reacting against. You're not friends in a bubble, she's likely bringing all of the new stuff she is learning about gender and all the transphobic attitudes and comments she hears to your conversations. Over time, it's likely she will chill out. I would also be annoyed by her comments, because even if you are super aware of gender there was nothing wrong hurtful in what you said: ladybugs are not harmed by misgendering and in our culture we can read objects as having gender. However, it doesn't sound like there was anything mean in her comments, I would try to interpret this as her working through new ideas out loud. I think a friendly and truthful "I never thought of it that way." could work in this situation. Personally, I've had groups of friends break down and it's awful. I would hate to lose a friend group over something pretty little like this.

+1 I would give her a little bit of grace. Maybe bring it up not right after one of these interactions, but a little later, that her hyperventilate policing other people's language in the middle of casual conversations really isn't actually helping make the world safer for her child? Hopefully, as her kid grows up and gets more confident in themselves/their gender identity, she'll relax a bit more and stop freaking out at everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Floral fabric IS feminine.

If anyone disagrees, fine, but I'm avoiding future contact. My feminine world won't be erased by anyone. If I am the last female on earth, with the last feminine pink floral poof, so be it. I will be that feminist warrior.

+1.

The central irony is that the most prominent way in recent years that we've seen that masculinity and femininity can be important, valued, definable characteristics is through the experiences of trans people. Not to lump trans and woke and gender-is-but-a-construct all together, but when someone assigned female at birth says that they don't feel at home in that body, we don't say, "oh, but gender is just a social construct, it's meaningless, so tsk tsk for you wanting to 'identify' as something that's a made-up construct." Instead we (hopefully, at least) embrace it and support their transition.

It's okay for things to be perceived as masculine and feminine; it's not okay to think that one is universally better or universally worse. But you wouldn't know that from knee-jerk people who say, "oh flowers are delicate and feminine!? Why can't they be tough, resilient, and masculine!?" Like, if that's your reaction to someone using the term, you're the one applying a value judgment.

Well, because feminine things are also tough, and resilient. And masculine things are sometimes soft and sensitive.

That’s the whole point, but I’m guessing that flies above most people. You’re worried it changes your opinion of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two excellent new terms have come out of this thread:. Larlx and Theybug.

Aahahahahahhhhhahaha. True! My tuesday has been made.

Agree I love Larlx.

[Anonymous]

Wait, "Master Bedroom" is now no bueno? It's so hard to keep up.