Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating two guys at the same time and I don’t know who to choose. It started off as first dates around the same time, and now it’s up our fifth date this past weekend. They are both really great guys and have qualities I want in a man. I do like one slightly more than the other, but then the other guy wins me over again on a date.

I usually date one guy but I’m in my early thirties and don’t have time to waste. I spent way too long in a relationship with the hopes or marriage, and I wanted to try multiple guys to see how that goes. Now I feel like I’m at a point where I have to break it off with one guy, but I can’t decide which guy.

[Anonymous]

Go for the one you like slightly more than the other.

[Anonymous]

Did you sleep with both of them? That’s kind of gross.

[Anonymous]

Start having honest conversations about what each wants in the future. Do they want kids, do the want to live in a particular place. Think about how they are with money, if they’d be good life partners, how they’d mesh with your friends and family. How do they feel about their own family? What hobbies do they have?

[Anonymous]

How do they treat waiters and animals?
Are their parents still together?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I spent way too much time in monogamous relationships that didn’t lead to marriage n m twenties and thirties.

Why do you feel like you have to decide? Is one asking for exclusivity or bringing up taking down dating profiles? Why can’t you keep dating both for now?

Don’t cut off other options for a man who is t making it clear both verbally and otherwise that he is committed to pursuing a serious relationship with you that could lead to marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you sleep with both of them? That’s kind of gross.

Why would you assume that? She’s only been out with them each five times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I spent way too much time in monogamous relationships that didn’t lead to marriage n m twenties and thirties.

Why do you feel like you have to decide? Is one asking for exclusivity or bringing up taking down dating profiles? Why can’t you keep dating both for now?

Don’t cut off other options for a man who is t making it clear both verbally and otherwise that he is committed to pursuing a serious relationship with you that could lead to marriage.

*who is not making

[Anonymous]

When I was in that place it turned out neither guy was right (and I had objective reasons not just a fear of attachment)

[Anonymous]

I posted the same questions a few weeks ago. I was leaning towards one, but decided to keep dating both and see what happened (while being honest with both, of course).

I’m really glad I did, because the one I was leaning towards ended up having problems that didn’t come out until later on.

I think there’s generally a lot of pressure on women to choose, commit, and put out early on, but 5 dates is nothing. I think it takes a solid 12-15 before people’s true colors begin to show.

Let them know you aren’t ready to be exclusive and keep dating both another few weeks. How they handle it will tell you a LOT about their character. A man who can’t wait 2-3 months to be physically intimate and pressure you to choose is NOT the kind of man you want to be with long term.

[Anonymous]

Start talking about babies with both of them, see who bails then pick the other.

[Anonymous]

Keep dating both. Who says you have to decide now. I'd be open to dating a third.

If it's this hard to decide, neither is the right guy at this point.

I agree with pp who suggested deepening your conversations.

[Anonymous]

I feel like neither are right because you can’t decide. When you know, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like neither are right because you can’t decide. When you know, you know.

+1

[Anonymous]

Who has the bigger bulge in their back pocket?