Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision

[Anonymous]

I’m about to flip a coin - heads is guy A and tails is guy B. It’s in my hand, I’m about to flip, it’s in the air, it’s going down ….were you hoping for heads or tails when it’s in the air quick!!!!

Seriously this should tell you the answer you are leaning towards one more just be honest with yourself.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you give it another month or so?

[Anonymous]

Pick the first guy you slept with. No guy wants a sloppy second, when he finds out you're double dipping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I slept with both of them over the weekend ( used protection). One was slightly better than the other but both were good.

I have talked future plans with both and they both said they are looking to settle down. One is 5 years older and the other is 7 years older than me. Both are about the same on paper. I like one slightly more. They both talked about exclusively after sleeping together this weekend. I feel like I have to make a decision.

This is the obvious choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating two guys at the same time and I don’t know who to choose. It started off as first dates around the same time, and now it’s up our fifth date this past weekend. They are both really great guys and have qualities I want in a man. I do like one slightly more than the other, but then the other guy wins me over again on a date.

I usually date one guy but I’m in my early thirties and don’t have time to waste. I spent way too long in a relationship with the hopes or marriage, and I wanted to try multiple guys to see how that goes. Now I feel like I’m at a point where I have to break it off with one guy, but I can’t decide which guy.

yes you do

You don't have time to waste on men who don't stand out in a lineup of two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating two guys at the same time and I don’t know who to choose. It started off as first dates around the same time, and now it’s up our fifth date this past weekend. They are both really great guys and have qualities I want in a man. I do like one slightly more than the other, but then the other guy wins me over again on a date.

I usually date one guy but I’m in my early thirties and don’t have time to waste. I spent way too long in a relationship with the hopes or marriage, and I wanted to try multiple guys to see how that goes. Now I feel like I’m at a point where I have to break it off with one guy, but I can’t decide which guy.

yes you do

You don't have time to waste on men who don't stand out in a lineup of two.

yep. You don't need to be in a relationship that's not right. I feel like it's neither for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are their executive functioning skills ? Apparently a lot of DCUM wives married losers that can’t unload the dishwasher or schedule a doctors appointment so you may throw that into consideration.

This PP thinks they're funny, but seriously, OP, do have serious talks about how the job of raising kids will be handled ahead of time. If either is clearly in the traditional camp of woman does all parenting tasks, drop them.

You are very naive. No man says that he will not be an equal partner. Many just don't walk the talk. That's all. You cannot predict this at all but you can have a plan to postpone having kids even after getting married for a few years and also be willing to walk away if the man turns out to be a dud dad.

[Anonymous]

How do each of their families stack up against each other? If you are thinking marriage/kids the family you marry into can matter a lot. How often do they talk to parents? Siblings? Where does family live? What are their obligations regarding family (money, time etc)?

[Anonymous]

PP.
Easy. How did Bridget Jones solve it?
Do I remember correctly, she went back and forth between the two over 10 years, and at some point didn't know who was the father? But she was much more passionate about each of them than OP.
OP, I don't know whether you like to have this much detached control in all of your life decisions, but it feels so odd. The one you love isn't the one you like best.

[Anonymous]

But what if you pick the richest/bigger-endowed/great connections dude, throwing the other one over? And then find out the chosen is also sleeping with a super fertile 22 year old lingerie model?

What then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But what if you pick the richest/bigger-endowed/great connections dude, throwing the other one over? And then find out the chosen is also sleeping with a super fertile 22 year old lingerie model?

What then?

cool story, bro

[Anonymous]

Do either of these men know that you are dating another guy?

Do they think you are exclusive??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted the same questions a few weeks ago. I was leaning towards one, but decided to keep dating both and see what happened (while being honest with both, of course).

I’m really glad I did, because the one I was leaning towards ended up having problems that didn’t come out until later on.

I think there’s generally a lot of pressure on women to choose, commit, and put out early on, but 5 dates is nothing. I think it takes a solid 12-15 before people’s true colors begin to show.

Let them know you aren’t ready to be exclusive and keep dating both another few weeks. How they handle it will tell you a LOT about their character. A man who can’t wait 2-3 months to be physically intimate and pressure you to choose is NOT the kind of man you want to be with long term.

Were you the poster who was seeing the doctor and the other guy who you had more chemistry with? If so - what happened?

Yup that was me

I was leaning towards doctor guy, since he had no kids, a good career, and he was a very sweet guy. But it started becoming clear he had some challenges with mental health. Which I understand, but that’s not something I want to manage long-term. He also started feeling insecure that I didn’t want to rush things physically, and even though he said he was fine with it and didn’t outright pressure me, he started asking questions I was uncomfortable with.

Things are so much better with chemistry guy. I’m much more at ease, we have more in common, our conversation flows so much better, and it feels way more natural. I also went through a stressful situation while dating both, and he handled it much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you sleep with both of them? That’s kind of gross.

Why would you assume that? She’s only been out with them each five times.

And who cares if she did/does sleep with them both? Her body. She can do it safely. I don't think it's gross at all.

[Anonymous]

Op, continue sleeping with both and figure out who is better in sex and you feel more connected with. You will get your answer...