Married friends coming out?

[Anonymous]

In the last 6 months I’ve had 3 married, adult friends come out as lesbians. All are/were married to men and 2/3 have children. Is this a pandemic thing (as in, something they discovered during the pandemic)? Anyone else experienced this? It just seems like a lot at once having never happened before!

[Anonymous]

We have had 1 friend leave their husband for a woman and my wife has hinted at it. I am supportive.

Not a troll, but have thinking about this for a while.

[Anonymous]

Apparently it is really common for women to come out after being married with kids. Not sure if it's deliberate repression or thinking you have to have kids and don't question whether or not marrying a man/kids is your thing. I think with previous generations it was lack of sexual experience or 'knowing what to do with it' and lack of options/role models for being gay.

I've also met quite a few women who used to be nuns, who then came out. They swore they had no idea they were gay/weren't repressing it- but just didn't know what those feelings meant- but also knew they didn't want to be with men.

[Anonymous]

It’s the Glendon Doyle effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the Glendon Doyle effect.

This has been happening way before she did it.

[Anonymous]

How long have your friends been married?

I have a few friends who have done this and they had all been married for about ten years at the time. One left about six years ago, one five, and one a year ago.

I don’t think it’s related to the pandemic but maybe when somebody is around their husband a lot (and they see a lot of lesbian TikToks, I actually know a lot of women who have realized they were bi because of tiktok) they are more likely to realize they aren’t sexually attracted to them.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s hormonal. WOMENS sexuality is a lot more fluid. Our hormones change dramatically around peri menopause and menopause. I am highly attracted to men around ovulation and less so the rest of the month. I could see becoming fully bi when I’m not ovulating anymore.

[Anonymous]

One of my mom's good friends did this in the 1980s .... this isn't a new thing, and it will continue to happen.

[Anonymous]

I know of a couple where he came out as gay and she did as a lesbian. No kids though.

[Anonymous]

I think all women are tired of putting up with men. The me too movement also brought with it just being able to openly say how annoying they are. The pandemic had to have made this worse. Dealing with one 24/7 can feel pretty oppressive. I think I would rather be alone than find a woman to be with, but I get it. I’m hanging on by a thread.

[Anonymous]

I realized I was gay a few years ago. The signs were there early in life, but I went ahead with marriage to a man and having kids. I was never able to climax with him but I thought that was just my lot in life.
When I realized what was up, I wavered, considered sticking things out a few more years, and kept it a little quiet until I was financially able to leave. Divorce finalized during pandemic. I met someone after I was separated - she came out late in life for other reasons/religious upbringing. It’s been a bumpy road and we are still figuring things out. But one thing is sure - I am GAF.

[Anonymous]

Well after you have kids what’s the point of the male ?

It’s common e.g woman who wrote eat, pray love went this route as well

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian. My friends who are lesbian seem to have much better and more egalitarian marriages than me and my other straight friends.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this is new. Women have always had far more intense personal relationships with other women than men have with men. Some reach a point in their married lives where they are unhappy and they really lean on their friends and one thing can lead to another. I saw this years ago with a couple of my mothers friends who are now in their 70’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all women are tired of putting up with men. The me too movement also brought with it just being able to openly say how annoying they are. The pandemic had to have made this worse. Dealing with one 24/7 can feel pretty oppressive. I think I would rather be alone than find a woman to be with, but I get it. I’m hanging on by a thread.

No. Women are not lesbians because men they think men are annoying. So incredibly offensive!