Married friends coming out?

[Anonymous]

My sil just came out only to my brother though, he told me. They just had their second child last year. They're figuring out what to do. She hasn't come out to her family yet. They're super religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have your friends been married?

I have a few friends who have done this and they had all been married for about ten years at the time. One left about six years ago, one five, and one a year ago.

I don’t think it’s related to the pandemic but maybe when somebody is around their husband a lot (and they see a lot of lesbian TikToks, I actually know a lot of women who have realized they were bi because of tiktok) they are more likely to realize they aren’t sexually attracted to them.

What, are they 12 years old? How does TikTok make one realize they’re bi?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all women are tired of putting up with men. The me too movement also brought with it just being able to openly say how annoying they are. The pandemic had to have made this worse. Dealing with one 24/7 can feel pretty oppressive. I think I would rather be alone than find a woman to be with, but I get it. I’m hanging on by a thread.

No. Women are not lesbians because men they think men are annoying. So incredibly offensive!

Yea. What a stupid response. Being a lesbian has nothing to do with men. It's about you -- not him.

Idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think this is new. Women have always had far more intense personal relationships with other women than men have with men. Some reach a point in their married lives where they are unhappy and they really lean on their friends and one thing can lead to another. I saw this years ago with a couple of my mothers friends who are now in their 70’s.

That is why for men to experiment with same sex or come out, it is a much bigger step than when women do this. A generalization, but probably true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s hormonal. WOMENS sexuality is a lot more fluid. Our hormones change dramatically around peri menopause and menopause. I am highly attracted to men around ovulation and less so the rest of the month. I could see becoming fully bi when I’m not ovulating anymore.

+The Kinsey scale proves this statement. We are more inclined to notice another woman weather it be her features or outfit. Fine line between admiring someone and slowly developing feelings over time.

[Anonymous]

I'm sexually fluid and have had experiences with women but have mostly been with men. If DH and I split, I would definitely be open to dating women again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think this is new. Women have always had far more intense personal relationships with other women than men have with men. Some reach a point in their married lives where they are unhappy and they really lean on their friends and one thing can lead to another. I saw this years ago with a couple of my mothers friends who are now in their 70’s.

I’m happily married but I’m bi-curious but it’s not something I will act on. If for some reason my marriage ended it’s something I’d consider.

[Anonymous]

My ex-husband cheated on me with men, so we divorced earlier this year. But only a handful of people know (and all of dcum, muahaha). I had hoped he'd come out, but it doesn't seem like he's even come out to himself. He stills acts befuddled (like "who, me?") when I mention maybe he should figure out his sexuality.

[Anonymous]

I realized I was gay a few years ago. The signs were there early in life, but I went ahead with marriage to a man and having kids. I was never able to climax with him but I thought that was just my lot in life.
When I realized what was up, I wavered, considered sticking things out a few more years, and kept it a little quiet until I was financially able to leave. Divorce finalized during pandemic. I met someone after I was separated - she came out late in life for other reasons/religious upbringing. It’s been a bumpy road and we are still figuring things out. But one thing is sure - I am GAF.

You kept it "quiet" until you were financially able to leave? To get "financially stable", did you drain the joint bank accounts? Saddle him with debt (including mortgage debt)?

If this poster would have been a man talking about taking these steps prior to leaving his wife for an AP (or just wanting to be single), this board would have crucified him. Please tell me, DCUM, how this story is different.

It is nice that you are GAF. How is he? Would he have been better if you did not keep it quiet until you dropped the bomb on your lives and finances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all women are tired of putting up with men. The me too movement also brought with it just being able to openly say how annoying they are. The pandemic had to have made this worse. Dealing with one 24/7 can feel pretty oppressive. I think I would rather be alone than find a woman to be with, but I get it. I’m hanging on by a thread.

+1

They are more trouble than they are worth, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I realized I was gay a few years ago. The signs were there early in life, but I went ahead with marriage to a man and having kids. I was never able to climax with him but I thought that was just my lot in life.
When I realized what was up, I wavered, considered sticking things out a few more years, and kept it a little quiet until I was financially able to leave. Divorce finalized during pandemic. I met someone after I was separated - she came out late in life for other reasons/religious upbringing. It’s been a bumpy road and we are still figuring things out. But one thing is sure - I am GAF.

You kept it "quiet" until you were financially able to leave? To get "financially stable", did you drain the joint bank accounts? Saddle him with debt (including mortgage debt)?

If this poster would have been a man talking about taking these steps prior to leaving his wife for an AP (or just wanting to be single), this board would have crucified him. Please tell me, DCUM, how this story is different.

It is nice that you are GAF. How is he? Would he have been better if you did not keep it quiet until you dropped the bomb on your lives and finances?

Nice try. A woman leaving with children is nothing like a man leaving for an AP. It would be irresponsible for her to walk out without thinking through how she can support her children. And don't say child support, that's not nearly enough to give your children a stable quality of life if you were out of the work force or otherwise underemployed to mommy track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all women are tired of putting up with men. The me too movement also brought with it just being able to openly say how annoying they are. The pandemic had to have made this worse. Dealing with one 24/7 can feel pretty oppressive. I think I would rather be alone than find a woman to be with, but I get it. I’m hanging on by a thread.

+1

They are more trouble than they are worth, honestly.

+2. I know a number of women that left husbands during the pandemic because the unequal dynamic was finally too much with the shut down. Makes perfect sense that a bi woman would say no thanks to another man after that.

[Anonymous]

My husband told me recently during the board game Life. That I could marry someone else only if I was marrying a woman, but if it was another man, I had to stay.

Maybe it is easier to get out of the marriage if you are switching teams….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I realized I was gay a few years ago. The signs were there early in life, but I went ahead with marriage to a man and having kids. I was never able to climax with him but I thought that was just my lot in life.
When I realized what was up, I wavered, considered sticking things out a few more years, and kept it a little quiet until I was financially able to leave. Divorce finalized during pandemic. I met someone after I was separated - she came out late in life for other reasons/religious upbringing. It’s been a bumpy road and we are still figuring things out. But one thing is sure - I am GAF.

You kept it "quiet" until you were financially able to leave? To get "financially stable", did you drain the joint bank accounts? Saddle him with debt (including mortgage debt)?

If this poster would have been a man talking about taking these steps prior to leaving his wife for an AP (or just wanting to be single), this board would have crucified him. Please tell me, DCUM, how this story is different.

It is nice that you are GAF. How is he? Would he have been better if you did not keep it quiet until you dropped the bomb on your lives and finances?

Nice try. A woman leaving with children is nothing like a man leaving for an AP. It would be irresponsible for her to walk out without thinking through how she can support her children. And don't say child support, that's not nearly enough to give your children a stable quality of life if you were out of the work force or otherwise underemployed to mommy track.

NP : what ? Its a lot closer to that situation than you are willing to admit. The you can decide one day that you want to change teams but that does not push up the morality scale.

[Anonymous]

I think the pandemic made people realize life is short and there are no guarantees.