"You’re not my type."

[Anonymous]

Have you ever been turned down due to size? I sent a message to a guy on a dating site and he said:

"You’re very pretty. But not my type, sorry. I prefer petite women."

I’m 5’9 and curvy/busty, closer to the bigger side but not plus size. . I honestly thought this was rude! Why respond at all?

[Anonymous]

He's probably lying about his height and knows a tall girl will bust him.

[Anonymous]

Back when I was dating a decade ago I received a few of those replies. For the best, that type of personality isn't my type either!

[Anonymous]

Now you know not to waste your time with him.

[Anonymous]

As a man, a lot of men can’t handle your type. I was always attracted to your type, but never really had any opportunity.

[Anonymous]

OP I would interpret this as men treating women the way they want to be treated (albeit clearly not the way women want to be treated). Men complain that women don’t write back even to turn them down, so he may well have thought it was more polite to tell you that you’re too tall for him.

[Anonymous]

I am always fascinated and saddened by people like you who get all bent out of shape at a stranger being rude. there are a TON of other people in the world. Go find one who's nicer.

I would never mention a guy's size but I am not attracted to men who are "curvy" or have an "I was a football player in high school but it's been a few years but I could totally get back in shape if I wanted" body.

The guy just should have stopped talking one sentence earlier, that's all. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure I've been turned down for all types of reasons, my hair, my skin tone, my race, my height, my lack of curves, my education. It's ok I don't need everyone to want me.

He was rude. Eff him you are better off and move on.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

It’s an extremely rude answer. Didn’t you ever hear “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

It’s an extremely rude answer. Didn’t you ever hear “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”?

NP. He complimented her prettiness and said he prefers petite women, which can be a euphemism for not fat but can also just mean short/small. It has a neutral meaning, so why take it as an insult? OP seems very insecure imo.

Additionally, as a voluptuous 5'10", 165-lb woman, some men love that, others don't, and that's fine, just as I have physical preferences in men as well.

I thought his response was perfectly polite, even kind (calling her pretty).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

It’s an extremely rude answer. Didn’t you ever hear “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”?

NP. He complimented her prettiness and said he prefers petite women, which can be a euphemism for not fat but can also just mean short/small. It has a neutral meaning, so why take it as an insult? OP seems very insecure imo.

Additionally, as a voluptuous 5'10", 165-lb woman, some men love that, others don't, and that's fine, just as I have physical preferences in men as well.

I thought his response was perfectly polite, even kind (calling her pretty).

were you raised in a barn? it’s not neutral or polite - it’s hurtful. you wouldn’t say that to someone you met to their face; don’t say it online. I did a ton of online dating and never had anyone tell me that (I am not “petite” myself).

[Anonymous]

Petite does not mean skinny. It’s height.

[Anonymous]

Petite refers to stature not weight. Most people still think petite means skinny when in fact petite has nothing to do with weight. Petite is the term used in the fashion industry to describe a woman who is 5'3 tall or under. Petite women come in all shapes and sizes, whether they're a size 4 or 14.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.