"You’re not my type."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

What if he said “sorry no offense i think you’re probably a great person but I think you look like a horse and you’re too fat for me” would that be okay if it was honest? You don’t just say every thought you have, even if there is nothing wrong with thinking what you think.

That's not the same thing. Comparing someone to an animal is insulting, fat is an insult for people who are overweight, etc. Height is just height. There's nothing inherently derogatory or insulting about stating that a woman is tall.

People are allowed to have preferences and there's nothing with stating your preferences if you're polite about it.

the place to state your preferences is on your profile. not in messages that detail to people the ways in which you don’t meet your preferences.

are you all Zoomers who missed essential social skills or something? It’s called basic tact people.

[Anonymous]

I've answered the question plenty of times. You are desperate to think that tall is the same as fat, heavyset, horse-like, all manner of things that include a negative judgment.

I am not the person who said anything about horse-like. But first of all, he did not say "tall," he said "petite," which in my view, may refer to both height and weight. Second, yes, I view "tall" as akin to a comment about being "heavyset," in that it is not a slur or particularly mean way of describing a physical feature that this prospective dater does not like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I've answered the question plenty of times. You are desperate to think that tall is the same as fat, heavyset, horse-like, all manner of things that include a negative judgment. Tall is not an insult.

It's a fact about a physical feature, just like "tall" is. I'm exactly average height, but if a guy responded that he wasn't interested because he preferred larger-breasted women (I'm a B cup), I would think he was sort of a pig. Just not necessary to say. I wouldn't tell a guy that I wasn't interested because he wasn't tall enough. Why bother? It won't make the person feel good, and there is nothing that they can do to change it. I know you will find this hard to believe, but it is not always necessary to say every single thing you think.

exactly. people who feel the need to clarify “you’re not tall enough, skinny enough, rich enough” are really trying to make themselves feel powerful. or they lack basic social skills. or both.

[Anonymous]

If he’s so stuck on his petite preference, she should, he should outline that in his profile / preferences.

Of course, we’re going to pretend it’s okay that he did what he did. Yea, he is allowed is preference. But he doesn’t get to take women down who approach him because they’re not his preference, if he didnt express it.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever been turned down due to size? I sent a message to a guy on a dating site and he said:

"You’re very pretty. But not my type, sorry. I prefer petite women."

I’m 5’9 and curvy/busty, closer to the bigger side but not plus size. . I honestly thought this was rude! Why respond at all?

Stop kidding yourself
You are gross
And a pig

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Um, he definitely dodged a bullet. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Why on earth did you re-engage with this man? Clearly he is not a worthwhile guy, and I don't know what you thought you would accomplish that would be useful or helpful to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Um, he definitely dodged a bullet. Sheesh.

Oh wow, yes! OP is just nuts. Her arguing here made that clear but going back to the guy just solidifies it!

[Anonymous]

How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Why on earth did you re-engage with this man? Clearly he is not a worthwhile guy, and I don't know what you thought you would accomplish that would be useful or helpful to you.

+1

Hopefully there is no next time but if there is, don’t dig in. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

That’s true. It’s the same with “into fitness.” It’s typically just a euphemism for being thin. They would make an exception for a sedentary girl with their body type.

(I still don’t think OP should have pushed it though, unless she was just trying to mess with his head, in which case, brava).

[Anonymous]

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I am 5'4" and 130 lbs, and would not classify myself as "petite." I'm average, and that is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

That’s true. It’s the same with “into fitness.” It’s typically just a euphemism for being thin. They would make an exception for a sedentary girl with their body type.

(I still don’t think OP should have pushed it though, unless she was just trying to mess with his head, in which case, brava).

What are you bravaing about? There’s no messing with his head? His head thinks OP is nuts and she proved that point very well.