"You’re not my type."

[Anonymous]

Well, it would have been better if the dude said "You're very pretty but I don't feel a connection", without pointing the size.

FWIW, OP, I'm also 5'9"" but average built. Growing up, I didn't like being tall and towering over my classmates, male and female, so my size was my personal hang-up (it isn't anymore, but that's not the point), so I can kinda see why you're rattled by that answer.

On the brighter side, I was never lacking for male attention once I grew up, and now I'm glad to be tall. OP, I totally hear what you're saying but don't take this answer too personally.

[Anonymous]

5’9” is very tall. He’s probably like 5’6” and you will tower over him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 6'4". I had a woman on OLD tell me I was too tall for her. I was not offended.

Being tall is almost universally considered attractive. It's still unnecessary, but it's sort of like "you're too hot for me." It's unlikely to offend.

This is exactly it. Of course somebody isn’t going to be offended if they hear that somebody doesn’t want them because of a trait typically considered attractive. You can’t compare the two situations.

[Anonymous]

All he needed to say is, "you are very pretty, but I don't think we are a match." I don't think saying something negative about someone's appearance is necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

Really? If a woman responded to you saying you were too short, you'd feel it was polite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's probably lying about his height and knows a tall girl will bust him.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

again, keep it to yourself. nobody asked you to comment negatively on their appearance. if you think that kind of “honesty” is considered welcome by anyone, you may have problems with relationships. I’m surprised people don’t get this very, very basic issue of manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

again, keep it to yourself. nobody asked you to comment negatively on their appearance. if you think that kind of “honesty” is considered welcome by anyone, you may have problems with relationships. I’m surprised people don’t get this very, very basic issue of manners.

Seriously. She never asked for feedback about her appearance. The perfectly polite, normal way to convey "you're not my type" is not responding to their message. It's presumptuous to assume she even cares why you're not interested in her. Would you want to hear "I think you're ugly"? Because unless you're very attractive, someone is thinking that about you sometimes, they just have the minor amount of grace it takes to keep it to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

Really? If a woman responded to you saying you were too short, you'd feel it was polite?

or too bald, too fat, too poor, too lower class, bad writer, boring profile ...

if someone messages you you are not interested in, you ignore them. you don’t need to answer at all. responding with a detail about how they don’t meet your dating requirements is engaged in a weird narcissistic exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

What if he said “sorry no offense i think you’re probably a great person but I think you look like a horse and you’re too fat for me” would that be okay if it was honest? You don’t just say every thought you have, even if there is nothing wrong with thinking what you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

Really? If a woman responded to you saying you were too short, you'd feel it was polite?

Yes, I'd appreciate her honesty. She is entitled to her preferences. I'm 5'9" which isn't really short but too short for some woman. I'm also a little chubby and I know it. It doesn't hurt me if you tell me you prefer a more fit guy. Just saying, we aren't a good fit or, you're not my type leaves me wondering. I'd rather know.

That said, any strong preferences you have or deal killers should be stated in your dating profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

What if he said “sorry no offense i think you’re probably a great person but I think you look like a horse and you’re too fat for me” would that be okay if it was honest? You don’t just say every thought you have, even if there is nothing wrong with thinking what you think.

DP but you're wilding out of control here. "I think you're pretty but I prefer petite women" is not in any way equivalent to "you look like a horse" and you need to get your insecurities in hand or get off the internet.

[Anonymous]

I'm also a little chubby and I know it. It doesn't hurt me if you tell me you prefer a more fit guy. Just saying, we aren't a good fit or, you're not my type leaves me wondering. I'd rather know.

Why? What difference does it make? The person is telling you that they are not interested, they are not there to critique your appearance or provide feedback. Just a polite, "I don't think we are a match," is fine, then move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

I agree. Man here and this guy was honest. He was not insulting, he just declined and gave his reason. He prefers petite woman which rules you out. We all have preferences. Very few people would date any person of any size, race, background, etc. He may be a short guy himself and found that taller women reject him where as short women don't mind, generally speaking.

What if he said “sorry no offense i think you’re probably a great person but I think you look like a horse and you’re too fat for me” would that be okay if it was honest? You don’t just say every thought you have, even if there is nothing wrong with thinking what you think.

That's not the same thing. Comparing someone to an animal is insulting, fat is an insult for people who are overweight, etc. Height is just height. There's nothing inherently derogatory or insulting about stating that a woman is tall.

People are allowed to have preferences and there's nothing with stating your preferences if you're polite about it.