"You’re not my type."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Petite does not mean skinny. It’s height.

Ok .... still rude! Sheesh! Nobody needs to know that your preferences. Keep it to yourself.

It is a dating site, so everyone is stating their preferences. It is not fun to hear, but it sounds like he was being honest.

Do you think sending personalized rejections to people you've had no conversations with is a normal thing people do on dating sites?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

I think it's a very honest message, and there's nothing rude about it. Some women are incredibly thin-skinned--you know you're not petite, so what's wrong with it?

--Woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

He should have left the last sentence out. But I wouldn't say he was rude.

You probably know this OP. 5'9" and curvy is going to be "not my type" for a lot of men, but thats ok. There are plenty that you will be the type for. Just know that every single person, no matter what they look like, is "not my type" to someone.

[Anonymous]

I am 6'4". I had a woman on OLD tell me I was too tall for her. I was not offended.

[Anonymous]

I think it is rude because he included the second sentence. Something along the lines of, "You're a great catch for someone else, but just not my type, best of luck," is much kinder and more appropriate.

[Anonymous]

I'm 5'10" and curvy/busty and I don't think his reply was rude. I remember when I was online dating a couple of different guys told me when they met me that they were surprised I was hot because they worried I might just be fat based on my pictures - that was rude. One guy asked me out and then asked for a recent full-body picture before we met so he could be sure I wasn't hiding anything - that was rude af and I did not go out with him.

Honestly OP if this is hurting your feelings you might not be cut out for online dating. It's wild out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 6'4". I had a woman on OLD tell me I was too tall for her. I was not offended.

Being tall is almost universally considered attractive. It's still unnecessary, but it's sort of like "you're too hot for me." It's unlikely to offend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'10" and curvy/busty and I don't think his reply was rude. I remember when I was online dating a couple of different guys told me when they met me that they were surprised I was hot because they worried I might just be fat based on my pictures - that was rude. One guy asked me out and then asked for a recent full-body picture before we met so he could be sure I wasn't hiding anything - that was rude af and I did not go out with him.

Honestly OP if this is hurting your feelings you might not be cut out for online dating. It's wild out there.

Yuck. Good call on passing on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'10" and curvy/busty and I don't think his reply was rude. I remember when I was online dating a couple of different guys told me when they met me that they were surprised I was hot because they worried I might just be fat based on my pictures - that was rude. One guy asked me out and then asked for a recent full-body picture before we met so he could be sure I wasn't hiding anything - that was rude af and I did not go out with him.

Honestly OP if this is hurting your feelings you might not be cut out for online dating. It's wild out there.

Yuck. Good call on passing on him.

The funny part is I'm 100% positive that he thinks he's the one who dodged a bullet and the reason I declined is that I didn't want him to see I was secretly fat. The internet is a weird place.

[Anonymous]

The last sentence was unnecessary, but this isn’t worth your time, OP. I’m petite and know this isn’t everyone’s taste. If someone’s looking for height, I don’t have it. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m not a catch for someone else and you are, too. Move on to the next guy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'10" and curvy/busty and I don't think his reply was rude. I remember when I was online dating a couple of different guys told me when they met me that they were surprised I was hot because they worried I might just be fat based on my pictures - that was rude. One guy asked me out and then asked for a recent full-body picture before we met so he could be sure I wasn't hiding anything - that was rude af and I did not go out with him.

Honestly OP if this is hurting your feelings you might not be cut out for online dating. It's wild out there.

Yuck. Good call on passing on him.

The funny part is I'm 100% positive that he thinks he's the one who dodged a bullet and the reason I declined is that I didn't want him to see I was secretly fat. The internet is a weird place.

Sounds like the type of guy that would also ask your bra size

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it was rude- I thought it was honest. Physical attraction is important-- the guy wasn't saying that OP wasn't attractive (just the opposite), only that he has a physical preference for small women.
Years ago, I was interested in a guy who took no notice of me-I'm 5'3 and 110 pounds. A few months later I saw his new girlfriend- she was nearly six feet, curvy, and gorgeous. He clearly had a type-- I wasn't it.

I mean, if you were on Tinder just looking to hook up, maybe that’s acceptable. But on a general dating site, nobody is asking for you to provide a detailed critique to explain your rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

I don't think it's polite, but don't find it super offensive. Everyone has their type. Not everyone is going to want us. There is a lid for every pot.... ETC

I would not take it personally, especially since you haven't ever met him or even exchanged a message. The fact that you had to bring this hear tells me you may need to grow a thicker skin if you are going to online date....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a very polite and honest message... ?

—Man

It’s an extremely rude answer. Didn’t you ever hear “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”?

NP. He complimented her prettiness and said he prefers petite women, which can be a euphemism for not fat but can also just mean short/small. It has a neutral meaning, so why take it as an insult? OP seems very insecure imo.

Additionally, as a voluptuous 5'10", 165-lb woman, some men love that, others don't, and that's fine, just as I have physical preferences in men as well.

I thought his response was perfectly polite, even kind (calling her pretty).

Absolutely. There was nothing wrong with his message. The alternative is that he would ignore her ping and most people get pissy about that. Not everyone is going to like you in this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last sentence was unnecessary, but this isn’t worth your time, OP. I’m petite and know this isn’t everyone’s taste. If someone’s looking for height, I don’t have it. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m not a catch for someone else and you are, too. Move on to the next guy!

I am 5'10 and have a BMI of 30 thanks to pandemic weight gain. My BF is 6'2" and also overweight.He finds me super hot. He told me when we first met that he had been looking for someone tall, and that the apps were full of short women. So, yes, there is a market for everything.