"You’re not my type."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

That’s true. It’s the same with “into fitness.” It’s typically just a euphemism for being thin. They would make an exception for a sedentary girl with their body type.

(I still don’t think OP should have pushed it though, unless she was just trying to mess with his head, in which case, brava).

What are you bravaing about? There’s no messing with his head? His head thinks OP is nuts and she proved that point very well.

Oh come on. It can be fun to push somebody on a point like this to make them feel uncomfortable. Like if somebody makes a passive aggressive comment, I don’t let it bother me, I just sweetly ask “oh what do you mean by that?”

Wow, no. You enjoy being a bully. And yes, things clearly bother you because you are so reactionary.

You know literally nothing about me and you do not know the definition of being a bully. If somebody who isn’t my friend says “wow, I really didn’t expect you to do so well on this project,” I might just ask what they mean.

The bolded explains exactly who you are. Which is a bully. Maybe you’re rethinking your behavior; that’s a good thing.

+1 I wonder what Pp will say if OP was a guy.

[Anonymous]

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

That’s true. It’s the same with “into fitness.” It’s typically just a euphemism for being thin. They would make an exception for a sedentary girl with their body type.

(I still don’t think OP should have pushed it though, unless she was just trying to mess with his head, in which case, brava).

What are you bravaing about? There’s no messing with his head? His head thinks OP is nuts and she proved that point very well.

Oh come on. It can be fun to push somebody on a point like this to make them feel uncomfortable. Like if somebody makes a passive aggressive comment, I don’t let it bother me, I just sweetly ask “oh what do you mean by that?”

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

Man I can’t believe I am explaining this so much because this is not a big deal, but I partially agree. That’s why I say she shouldn’t have done it unless her point was just to make things awkward, which may or may not have happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

But if you don’t care what the guy thinks about you, it doesn’t matter. Like the point of calling out that somebody is being sexist isn’t really for their benefit or to change their mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

apparently, women are supposed to know that this is how we are judged, and not take it personally.

that's online dating, and it works in both direction. It's the logical result of an app serving up potential dates like a menu

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

apparently, women are supposed to know that this is how we are judged, and not take it personally.

that's online dating, and it works in both direction. It's the logical result of an app serving up potential dates like a menu

How sad that people think that basic norms of politeness go out the window when you’re communicating via a dating app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

But if you don’t care what the guy thinks about you, it doesn’t matter. Like the point of calling out that somebody is being sexist isn’t really for their benefit or to change their mind.

How was he sexist, exactly? Possibly not as tactful as he could have been, though that's evidently debatable. But now not wanting to date a particular woman based on her height/weight is sexism?

Plus the ship has clearly sailed on OP not caring what the guy thinks about her. She's obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Why would you even follow up?

I would also define petite as 5’-5’4” 100-130 pounds.

He told you he is not interested and you are not his type.

I have a cousin who is supposedly 5’9”. She used to say she was 5’8”. My DH is 5’9” and my brother is 5’11”. Both always say she is more like 5’10”. She looks 6’ anytime she wears any shoe and not barefoot. She married a guy who was shorter than her.

I think most men prefer women who are smaller than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I am 5'4" and 130 lbs, and would not classify myself as "petite." I'm average, and that is fine.

Ha nope. The average BMI of a woman is 26. Yours is 22ish.

Also petite sized clothes are made for women up to 5’4. You are literally petite.

As an actual petite woman (under 5'2" and under 120#) ... oh, I got nothing, this whole discussion is super stupid. He likes short, not fat women. Big deal. I like tall, not fat men. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

In no world is OP petite. A tall her girl who isn’t skinny automatically looks kind of big. Sorry. You either look like ivanka trump or look kind of large. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I am 5'4" and 130 lbs, and would not classify myself as "petite." I'm average, and that is fine.

Ha nope. The average BMI of a woman is 26. Yours is 22ish.

Also petite sized clothes are made for women up to 5’4. You are literally petite.

As an actual petite woman (under 5'2" and under 120#) ... oh, I got nothing, this whole discussion is super stupid. He likes short, not fat women. Big deal. I like tall, not fat men. Big deal.

I’m also 5’4” 125 pounds. I am definitely petite or average. I don’t consider myself slim. I’m average weight and shortish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you even follow up?

I would also define petite as 5’-5’4” 100-130 pounds.

He told you he is not interested and you are not his type.

I have a cousin who is supposedly 5’9”. She used to say she was 5’8”. My DH is 5’9” and my brother is 5’11”. Both always say she is more like 5’10”. She looks 6’ anytime she wears any shoe and not barefoot. She married a guy who was shorter than her.

I think most men prefer women who are smaller than them.

I am 5’10 barefoot and there are plenty of men who go for tall women. Often it’s the super long legs I think. But some guys prefer short women, and clearly OP’s guy does. She should move on.

[Anonymous]

But if you don’t care what the guy thinks about you, it doesn’t matter. Like the point of calling out that somebody is being sexist isn’t really for their benefit or to change their mind.

If that was her intent, she should have said something along the lines of, "wow, it is really inappropriate for you to comment on my height and weight." Not ask what he defined as petite. Like it would be ok if he was ruling out women over 5'6" and 150 lbs, but not ok if he were ruling out over some other height and weight. Stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

apparently, women are supposed to know that this is how we are judged, and not take it personally.

that's online dating, and it works in both direction. It's the logical result of an app serving up potential dates like a menu

How sad that people think that basic norms of politeness go out the window when you’re communicating via a dating app.

what do you expect, women screen on height and weight and men do the same.