Why would a dad not get 50/50 custody?

[Anonymous]

If a dad wants 50/50 but the mom only wants to 'give' him every other weekend, what would cause a judge to side with mom? Dad is involved, present, coaches, cooks, shops, does some social managing, etc. He travels some for work but only a few days a month if that. Commute is long but still gets home at a reasonable hour (6ish). Mom says her schedule is better since she works at one of their schools and closer to the others and home. Dad has been living on the property but in the guest house. Mom is claiming that makes her the primary parent since the kids are sleeping in the main house. Kids are teens and 10yo.

[Anonymous]

Does dad have an AP?

[Anonymous]

I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

[Anonymous]

Even with a 50/50 split, trading off weekends is appropriate. Is dad able to have the kids stay at his house 2-3 days every week, including getting them to school in the morning, picking them up afterward, and taking them to after school activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does dad have an AP?

OP, this is a good question. Ready to answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

[Anonymous]

Does mom have an AP? People forget Mom's can cheat.

Most of our laws, except some states that have changed, were heavily bias toward Mom as the caretaker/SAHM and child support was allotted based on her caring for the kids. Child support and time share go hand and hand so if Mom gets 50/50 vs. every other weekend she gets significantly less chid support.

Courts don't care about AP's. My husband's ex cheated on him and left him to be with the AP (and took kids while he was at work one day) and judge gave her the kids and him visitation (where he had to also pay transportation despite her moving away).

Also, a CP can scream abuse, neglect, bonding and usually court hearings are very short and judges go with what is easy vs. what is best long term.

Reality is Mom will win and even though Dad is an equal parent, he'll lose his kids. Money wins.

[Anonymous]

Family courts pretty much never consider an affair so I don't know why people keep bringing that up.

They do heavily weigh the kids' preferences, and at 10+ mom mom would be wise not to play games. It's not the 80s and the 90s anymore and moms aren't automatically favored especially if the judge senses mom is just out to be antagonistic because she's mad about the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

So, its better for them to live without their Dad who has been an equal parent all along vs. both parents. Every other weekend is 4 nights a month. Its about money. Child support is based off where the child sleeps at night. Mom gets more child support if kids sleep at her house. Its more disruptive to kids to lose their father and Dad become more of an uncle figure vs. Dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does mom have an AP? People forget Mom's can cheat.

Most of our laws, except some states that have changed, were heavily bias toward Mom as the caretaker/SAHM and child support was allotted based on her caring for the kids. Child support and time share go hand and hand so if Mom gets 50/50 vs. every other weekend she gets significantly less chid support.

Courts don't care about AP's. My husband's ex cheated on him and left him to be with the AP (and took kids while he was at work one day) and judge gave her the kids and him visitation (where he had to also pay transportation despite her moving away).

Also, a CP can scream abuse, neglect, bonding and usually court hearings are very short and judges go with what is easy vs. what is best long term.

Reality is Mom will win and even though Dad is an equal parent, he'll lose his kids. Money wins.

Sounds like your husband had a shit lawyer or he's feeding you and you're believing a tall tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does mom have an AP? People forget Mom's can cheat.

Most of our laws, except some states that have changed, were heavily bias toward Mom as the caretaker/SAHM and child support was allotted based on her caring for the kids. Child support and time share go hand and hand so if Mom gets 50/50 vs. every other weekend she gets significantly less chid support.

Courts don't care about AP's. My husband's ex cheated on him and left him to be with the AP (and took kids while he was at work one day) and judge gave her the kids and him visitation (where he had to also pay transportation despite her moving away).

Also, a CP can scream abuse, neglect, bonding and usually court hearings are very short and judges go with what is easy vs. what is best long term.

Reality is Mom will win and even though Dad is an equal parent, he'll lose his kids. Money wins.

Sounds like your husband had a shit lawyer or he's feeding you and you're believing a tall tale.

Yup this is a load of shit. Family courts are pretty just and have been pretty just for many years. -Lawyer

[Anonymous]

1. He doesn't want it

or

2. He did something horrific

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

So, its better for them to live without their Dad who has been an equal parent all along vs. both parents. Every other weekend is 4 nights a month. Its about money. Child support is based off where the child sleeps at night. Mom gets more child support if kids sleep at her house. Its more disruptive to kids to lose their father and Dad become more of an uncle figure vs. Dad.

Why should dad get all the weekend fun time while mom gets all the work of school, homework and after school activities? Sounds like dad wants to have his cake and eat it too.

[Anonymous]

Dad cheated but there is no AP in the picture. Mom ran up credit cards bills pretty heavily unknown to dad. So neither are wearing the white hat. Dad absolutely wants equal time. There is nothing 'horrific'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad cheated but there is no AP in the picture. Mom ran up credit cards bills pretty heavily unknown to dad. So neither are wearing the white hat. Dad absolutely wants equal time. There is nothing 'horrific'.

Will he take that extra time during the week, with all of the work and responsibilities that come with it?