Why would a dad not get 50/50 custody?

[Anonymous]

If the mom is SAHM and dad has demanding job, dad may have less time out of necessity particularly if a lot of work travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

Many families with two working parents don't see their kids until 6 PM during the week. Our aftercare is open until 6:30. Pre-covid, I would usually pick up between 6 and 6:15 and there were plenty of kids still there.

I find it hard to believe that would be held against a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even with a 50/50 split, trading off weekends is appropriate. Is dad able to have the kids stay at his house 2-3 days every week, including getting them to school in the morning, picking them up afterward, and taking them to after school activities?

This is a pretty key question. Are you going to answer it, OP? IME, when there’s a significant disparity in the schedule, it’s often because dad’s work schedule doesn’t accommodate weekday parenting, and he’s not willing to make job changes so he can be a weekday parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. He doesn't want it

or

2. He did something horrific

Or

1. Family court is biased against men.

Or

2. She is willing to out spend him in legal fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

So, its better for them to live without their Dad who has been an equal parent all along vs. both parents. Every other weekend is 4 nights a month. Its about money. Child support is based off where the child sleeps at night. Mom gets more child support if kids sleep at her house. Its more disruptive to kids to lose their father and Dad become more of an uncle figure vs. Dad.

Why should dad get all the weekend fun time while mom gets all the work of school, homework and after school activities? Sounds like dad wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Did you even read the post? Dad wants 50/50 and mom wants every other weekend. Dad wants to do all the work and Mom will not let him. Mom wants the cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the mom is SAHM and dad has demanding job, dad may have less time out of necessity particularly if a lot of work travel.

Mom is not SAHM. Job is not particularly demanding but hours are longer than moms.

So a dad can get penalized in terms of custody for being the main provider? Would a dad with a more kid-friendly schedule get more custody than a mom who would gone from 7:30- 6 b/c of commute and work? Oldest can drive fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. He doesn't want it

or

2. He did something horrific

Or

1. Family court is biased against men.

Or

2. She is willing to out spend him in legal fees.

Nope. When men want 50/50 they tend to get it. If they don't it means they didn't want it or they did something horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does dad have an AP?

Is this to show he had a woman to help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. He doesn't want it

or

2. He did something horrific

Or

1. Family court is biased against men.

Or

2. She is willing to out spend him in legal fees.

I’ll give you 2) but 1) is codswallop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even with a 50/50 split, trading off weekends is appropriate. Is dad able to have the kids stay at his house 2-3 days every week, including getting them to school in the morning, picking them up afterward, and taking them to after school activities?

This is a pretty key question. Are you going to answer it, OP? IME, when there’s a significant disparity in the schedule, it’s often because dad’s work schedule doesn’t accommodate weekday parenting, and he’s not willing to make job changes so he can be a weekday parent.

Read the post. Kids are older/teens and preteens so when school is in session many are not home till later. Dad is asking for 50/50, mom is saying no. OP said Dad is a very involved Dad. Dad is home before 6/dinner time. Kids at that age don't need after care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even with a 50/50 split, trading off weekends is appropriate. Is dad able to have the kids stay at his house 2-3 days every week, including getting them to school in the morning, picking them up afterward, and taking them to after school activities?

This is a pretty key question. Are you going to answer it, OP? IME, when there’s a significant disparity in the schedule, it’s often because dad’s work schedule doesn’t accommodate weekday parenting, and he’s not willing to make job changes so he can be a weekday parent.

Absolutely. And with Covid changes the job is more flexible and will remain so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. He doesn't want it

or

2. He did something horrific

Or

1. Family court is biased against men.

Or

2. She is willing to out spend him in legal fees.

I’ll give you 2) but 1) is codswallop.

She may be willing to outspend him to get the court to order he pay her attorney fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. He doesn't want it

or

2. He did something horrific

Or

1. Family court is biased against men.

Or

2. She is willing to out spend him in legal fees.

Nope. When men want 50/50 they tend to get it. If they don't it means they didn't want it or they did something horrible.

No, they don't without a custody battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

So, its better for them to live without their Dad who has been an equal parent all along vs. both parents. Every other weekend is 4 nights a month. Its about money. Child support is based off where the child sleeps at night. Mom gets more child support if kids sleep at her house. Its more disruptive to kids to lose their father and Dad become more of an uncle figure vs. Dad.

Why should dad get all the weekend fun time while mom gets all the work of school, homework and after school activities? Sounds like dad wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Did you even read the post? Dad wants 50/50 and mom wants every other weekend. Dad wants to do all the work and Mom will not let him. Mom wants the cash.

I did read the post, but did not see what 50/50 schedule dad thinks would be feasible/appropriate. That matters, because if the only schedule dad can do is not in the kids’ best interest, he won’t get 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent.

So, its better for them to live without their Dad who has been an equal parent all along vs. both parents. Every other weekend is 4 nights a month. Its about money. Child support is based off where the child sleeps at night. Mom gets more child support if kids sleep at her house. Its more disruptive to kids to lose their father and Dad become more of an uncle figure vs. Dad.

Cheater mom who did less with teen boys than dad wants the kids only because she has never worked a day in her life and wants the child support $. Though she was the one bringing AP to the house.