Sideline Karens

[Anonymous]

Just started travel this year, so maybe my expectations are off. Wanted to get a gut check:

Spouse gets a little enthusiastic on the sidelines. Never calls out any individual player by name (other than our kid), but may call out if the defense or offense is lacking. Nothing mean-spirited, mostly encouragement. Sure, there were also some private parent-to-parent conversations on the sideline that may have been more critical, but nothing loud enough for a player or even another parent in the stands to hear . . . unless they were eavesdropping.

Yesterday, after the tournament weekend, spouse gets a call from the OWNER of the club dressing him down for his sideline behavior. Another parent on the team got the same call. I would have thought adults could have a conversation with each other, or even with the coach, before involving the owner of the entire organization.

IS THIS NORMAL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just started travel this year, so maybe my expectations are off. Wanted to get a gut check:

Spouse gets a little enthusiastic on the sidelines. Never calls out any individual player by name (other than our kid), but may call out if the defense or offense is lacking. Nothing mean-spirited, mostly encouragement. Sure, there were also some private parent-to-parent conversations on the sideline that may have been more critical, but nothing loud enough for a player or even another parent in the stands to hear . . . unless they were eavesdropping.

Yesterday, after the tournament weekend, spouse gets a call from the OWNER of the club dressing him down for his sideline behavior. Another parent on the team got the same call. I would have thought adults could have a conversation with each other, or even with the coach, before involving the owner of the entire organization.

IS THIS NORMAL?

they weren't as quiet as they thought they were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just started travel this year, so maybe my expectations are off. Wanted to get a gut check:

Spouse gets a little enthusiastic on the sidelines. Never calls out any individual player by name (other than our kid), but may call out if the defense or offense is lacking. Nothing mean-spirited, mostly encouragement. Sure, there were also some private parent-to-parent conversations on the sideline that may have been more critical, but nothing loud enough for a player or even another parent in the stands to hear . . . unless they were eavesdropping.

Yesterday, after the tournament weekend, spouse gets a call from the OWNER of the club dressing him down for his sideline behavior. Another parent on the team got the same call. I would have thought adults could have a conversation with each other, or even with the coach, before involving the owner of the entire organization.

IS THIS NORMAL?

How is it encouragement to call out if the offense or defense is lacking?

Criticizing children playing a game is, inherently, mean-spirited, whether it is said quietly or not. Your spouse is an ass. And to answer your question, no it's not common for the owner to have to get involved. It means your spouse has become a topic of conversation among the majority the parents and not in a good way.

You might want to remind your spouse that the person who will pay the price of the team disliking him is your DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just started travel this year, so maybe my expectations are off. Wanted to get a gut check:

Spouse gets a little enthusiastic on the sidelines. Never calls out any individual player by name (other than our kid), but may call out if the defense or offense is lacking. Nothing mean-spirited, mostly encouragement. Sure, there were also some private parent-to-parent conversations on the sideline that may have been more critical, but nothing loud enough for a player or even another parent in the stands to hear . . . unless they were eavesdropping.

Yesterday, after the tournament weekend, spouse gets a call from the OWNER of the club dressing him down for his sideline behavior. Another parent on the team got the same call. I would have thought adults could have a conversation with each other, or even with the coach, before involving the owner of the entire organization.

IS THIS NORMAL?

Yes, it is normal for a coach to have some level of talk regarding sideline behavior. Those who are louder or are sending conflicting messages or the wrong criticism can and should be called out for their behavior. This is especially true at U little ages.

[Anonymous]

Some folks think soccer should be like golf.
Try sitting away from the teams.

[Anonymous]

technically not a Karen cause the cops werent called...lol.

Rule of thumb for travel is dont yell at players ANY sort of instructions and only cheer (good job etc). best to not even direct anything to even your own child. Surprising what kids can hear from the sidelines.

[Anonymous]

OMG I have seen some terrible parents on the sidelines, but it must have been particularly egregious if your spouse got a call. Usually they get away with it. Try not talking. And FYI, if a parent told me what to do with my kid I'd be pissed. My kid has one coach and it ain't your DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have seen some terrible parents on the sidelines, but it must have been particularly egregious if your spouse got a call. Usually they get away with it. Try not talking. And FYI, if a parent told me what to do with my kid I'd be pissed. My kid has one coach and it ain't your DH

and if it is your first year travel, your kid is prob 3rd grade. Tell your DH to chill.

[Anonymous]

OP your DH should only ever shout supportive comments - EVER. It does no one any good to 1) be negative in any way and 2) shout directions of any kind.

You will demoralize or confuse your player and infuriate the coach. Tell DH to zip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse gets a little enthusiastic on the sidelines. Never calls out any individual player by name (other than our kid), but may call out if the defense or offense is lacking. Nothing mean-spirited, mostly encouragement. Sure, there were also some private parent-to-parent conversations on the sideline that may have been more critical, but nothing loud enough for a player or even another parent in the stands to hear . . . unless they were eavesdropping.

OP was the dressing down about the calling out, or about the side conversations, or both?

[Anonymous]

We had a parent entirely banned form games for unrelenting commentary.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally understand getting caught up in the excitement. But honestly, I'm impressed by your club. It is awkward for coaches to have these conversations with parents, but I applaud the club owner for stepping up and trying to nip this behavior in the bud. I'm a long time travel parent and I've seen it all in sideline behavior. I hope that more clubs take a proactive approach. Don't yell at or criticize kids. Period. It's not helpful, the coaches don't appreciate it, and your kid will hate you or your spouse. Trust me.

Try to take a deep breath and just enjoy the experience. The years fly by and you will miss these days.

[Anonymous]

Coaches hate parents barking from the sideline. It was obviously annoying enough for someone to contact you, so have DH put a lid on it and cheer for your son when he does something good. Otherwise, let the coach do their job and be a good spectator.

[Anonymous]

If your spouse got a call from the club owner, it means his behavior was really inappropriate.

Your spouse should be coaching from the sidelines, and especially should not be calling out players for not doing things up to his standards (regardless of how “constructive” you think his comments are). That is the coach’s job, not your spouse’s, and your spouse’s suggestions may actually contradict something the coach wants the players focusing on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have seen some terrible parents on the sidelines, but it must have been particularly egregious if your spouse got a call. Usually they get away with it. Try not talking. And FYI, if a parent told me what to do with my kid I'd be pissed. My kid has one coach and it ain't your DH

They were not being as quiet as they thought and the comments pretty nasty.