| My husband and I are both white but he and I both have family that is mixed. My husbands brothers wife is Hispanic. We make a lot more money than they do. They had a event death in the family and her family asked my brother for the money to pay for them to fly them out for the funeral. He said no and they didn’t have it. Then her family ( we have always been cordial) suggest that’s he asks my my husband because “ they are white and have money”. We obviously say no but I’m very taken back by this. His wife went so far as to group text us ( with her family) asking for us to help pay. We are both are pissed off about it. His brother is mad but his wife is acting like there isn’t anything wrong with it. Just a vent. |
| Why did you not help them out? |
| Is there a history of them using you for money? Do they want nothing to do with you unless they need something? |
OP here. It’s not our responsibility. We are cordial but only see them 1-2 times a year at holiday parties. We are not paying for 10 people to go to Puerto Rico for a week. |
| How much money was this? Was this money for parents to attend the funeral of their child, or money for grandma’s sister to attend the funeral if a nephew’s wife? |
OP here. No. We are cordial but we only see them 1-2 times a year. It’s not just for her and my husbands brother. We would do it for them but we will not do it for people we barely know. We are talking about paying for a air fare, hotel, and expenses for like 10 people for a week. No. |
OP here. I’m not sure hit at least a couple thousand dollars. It’s for her mom, father, two brothers, and like 5 cousins to go. |
| How do you know they make a lot more money than you, and why do they think you have more money than them, and what does race have to do with any of this |
OP here. It’s her my husbands wife’s grandmother. |
| Isn't it like $83 to fly to PR? I think it's odd you're refusing to help family. Someone died, they're not asking you to foot the bill for a vacation. |
| What is an "event death"? How is that different from a regular death? |
OP here. They don’t make a lot more money than we do. We make more than my his brother and wife. I have no clue how much her family makes. Race was brought into by them when they suggested we pay because “ they are white and have money”. I won’t talk about it much but they went on a long tirade about white privilege and how we should help them out, etc. It’s just the level of entitlement. I would never ask someone that I only see 1-2 times a year at family functions for money. |
OP here. They are not my family. Why would we pay money for 10 people ( some of who we have never even met) to go to a funeral? They are expecting help with air fare, hotels, and things like food. It’s not our responsibility to help someone we barely know pay for this stuff. |
| Wow. I’m surprised at these responses. OP, don’t listen to them. You’re right. I see a bunch of entitled people on here. |
You’re being kind of ridiculous. If they treated you poorly, I could understand getting irritated. But a beloved family member died and you’re pissed at them because they want to attend the funeral? Where’s your compassion? If you can’t afford it, that’s fine. But getting angry and calling them entitled is way over the top. |