Husbands family entitlement

Anonymous
My husband and I are both white but he and I both have family that is mixed. My husbands brothers wife is Hispanic. We make a lot more money than they do. They had a event death in the family and her family asked my brother for the money to pay for them to fly them out for the funeral. He said no and they didn’t have it. Then her family ( we have always been cordial) suggest that’s he asks my my husband because “ they are white and have money”. We obviously say no but I’m very taken back by this. His wife went so far as to group text us ( with her family) asking for us to help pay. We are both are pissed off about it. His brother is mad but his wife is acting like there isn’t anything wrong with it. Just a vent.
Anonymous
Why did you not help them out?
Anonymous
Is there a history of them using you for money? Do they want nothing to do with you unless they need something?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why did you not help them out?


OP here. It’s not our responsibility. We are cordial but only see them 1-2 times a year at holiday parties. We are not paying for 10 people to go to Puerto Rico for a week.
Anonymous
How much money was this? Was this money for parents to attend the funeral of their child, or money for grandma’s sister to attend the funeral if a nephew’s wife?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Is there a history of them using you for money? Do they want nothing to do with you unless they need something?


OP here. No. We are cordial but we only see them 1-2 times a year. It’s not just for her and my husbands brother. We would do it for them but we will not do it for people we barely know. We are talking about paying for a air fare, hotel, and expenses for like 10 people for a week. No.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How much money was this? Was this money for parents to attend the funeral of their child, or money for grandma’s sister to attend the funeral if a nephew’s wife?


OP here. I’m not sure hit at least a couple thousand dollars. It’s for her mom, father, two brothers, and like 5 cousins to go.
Anonymous
How do you know they make a lot more money than you, and why do they think you have more money than them, and what does race have to do with any of this
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much money was this? Was this money for parents to attend the funeral of their child, or money for grandma’s sister to attend the funeral if a nephew’s wife?


OP here. I’m not sure hit at least a couple thousand dollars. It’s for her mom, father, two brothers, and like 5 cousins to go.


OP here. It’s her my husbands wife’s grandmother.
Anonymous
Isn't it like $83 to fly to PR? I think it's odd you're refusing to help family. Someone died, they're not asking you to foot the bill for a vacation.
Anonymous
What is an "event death"? How is that different from a regular death?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How do you know they make a lot more money than you, and why do they think you have more money than them, and what does race have to do with any of this


OP here. They don’t make a lot more money than we do. We make more than my his brother and wife. I have no clue how much her family makes. Race was brought into by them when they suggested we pay because “ they are white and have money”. I won’t talk about it much but they went on a long tirade about white privilege and how we should help them out, etc.

It’s just the level of entitlement. I would never ask someone that I only see 1-2 times a year at family functions for money.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Isn't it like $83 to fly to PR? I think it's odd you're refusing to help family. Someone died, they're not asking you to foot the bill for a vacation.


OP here. They are not my family. Why would we pay money for 10 people ( some of who we have never even met) to go to a funeral? They are expecting help with air fare, hotels, and things like food. It’s not our responsibility to help someone we barely know pay for this stuff.
Anonymous
Wow. I’m surprised at these responses. OP, don’t listen to them. You’re right. I see a bunch of entitled people on here.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is there a history of them using you for money? Do they want nothing to do with you unless they need something?


OP here. No. We are cordial but we only see them 1-2 times a year. It’s not just for her and my husbands brother. We would do it for them but we will not do it for people we barely know. We are talking about paying for a air fare, hotel, and expenses for like 10 people for a week. No.


You’re being kind of ridiculous. If they treated you poorly, I could understand getting irritated. But a beloved family member died and you’re pissed at them because they want to attend the funeral? Where’s your compassion?

If you can’t afford it, that’s fine. But getting angry and calling them entitled is way over the top.
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