Husbands family entitlement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. This seems like a family relationship problem.


1. I am skeptical of this post as it seems designed to say " see non white people are racist too!"

OP here. That’s not what I was try to say at all. Many of my immediate families are POC and they are not like this. I put in what the issue was since I know people would ask why I feel they’re awe entitled and why are they are asking us. They legit did say this to not only us, but my BIL. Her family told her that he should pay for it because he has more money than all of them. When he said no and that they couldn’t afford it, her mom said to ask his family and she asked me. We have helped them ( BIL and SIL) out a couple of times in the past when they needed it. I won’t help these people that I barely know out. Iys not been so much as is being white. It’s their sense of entitlement that someone else should pay for them because they have more money that rubs me the the wrong way. My neighbors are have more money than us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were considering helping them out at first but I don’t like the entitlement. They feel like we owe them something just because we are white.

Yeah, I don't believe for a second that this happened.

OP here. You don’t have to but it did happen. Her family has never liked my BIL because they felt my SIL should have married a Hispanic man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be like "we can afford four one-way tickets or two round trip tickets."

I think it's weird that people don't plan for deaths. Last weekend I was talking to my dad about how his sister and her husband (my aunt and uncle) are almost 80 and I've set aside $2k for flight and hotel for when they die. He was like "maybe they'll die during quarantine and then you'll just have to do a zoom funeral and it'll save you money."

A lot of people can’t afford things like college or vacations. You think every family should have a funeral travel fund? There are plenty of people who can’t even afford a funeral, much less travel. Nearly 70% of Americans have less than $1000 saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were considering helping them out at first but I don’t like the entitlement. They feel like we owe them something just because we are white.

Yeah, I don't believe for a second that this happened.

Yeah, I think OP is projecting a lot.

I can totally see family asking family for help to attend a funeral. OP’s indignation is weird say yes, say no, say yes to half or whatever, but this anger that they would have the audacity to ask you for help is.... weird....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were considering helping them out at first but I don’t like the entitlement. They feel like we owe them something just because we are white.

Yeah, I don't believe for a second that this happened.

Yeah, I think OP is projecting a lot.

I can totally see family asking family for help to attend a funeral. OP’s indignation is weird say yes, say no, say yes to half or whatever, but this anger that they would have the audacity to ask you for help is.... weird....

Not weird. I can’t imagine asking my bil to help fly my cousins to a family funeral. I mean really? What’s your cultural background that you think this is normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were considering helping them out at first but I don’t like the entitlement. They feel like we owe them something just because we are white.

Yeah, I don't believe for a second that this happened.

Yeah, I think OP is projecting a lot.

I can totally see family asking family for help to attend a funeral. OP’s indignation is weird say yes, say no, say yes to half or whatever, but this anger that they would have the audacity to ask you for help is.... weird....

No. What is weird are these stupid freeloaders asking other adults to pay at their way. Gross entitlement. Some people have no shame. OP barely knows these people. Stay far away from these people OP. They will just continue to beg for more $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they make a lot more money than you, and why do they think you have more money than them, and what does race have to do with any of this

There are financial expectations/assumptions of family, even extended, in certain cultures.

God I am glad I was not raised in such a culture. So much entitlement and enmeshment. Gross!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be like "we can afford four one-way tickets or two round trip tickets."

+1. Don’t be petty with grieving people. Entitlement (if that’s even what’s going on here) bugs me too, but I don’t let it drive my decisions.

Also agree with PP who said some cultures/families just have expectations about pitching in during major life events. For all you know, they’d do it for you if you needed it.

No they would not. They do not have the financial means to ever help. They will always be the ones needing help. They are entitled freeloaders. Ignore the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money was this? Was this money for parents to attend the funeral of their child, or money for grandma’s sister to attend the funeral if a nephew’s wife?

OP here. I’m not sure hit at least a couple thousand dollars. It’s for her mom, father, two brothers, and like 5 cousins to go.

OP here. It’s her my husbands wife’s grandmother.

I would say no too.

[Anonymous]

^^ignore them OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it is a cultural thing. Shows you have been accepted.
It is not unusual to ask family members, it is how their society has managed for centuries

OP is not their family though.

So what if she was? Point?

[Anonymous]

OP, this isn't unusual, particularly for those who come from poor countries or even those who have a rich relative (SIL is equating white and rich). The SIL and her family are acting biased and entitled and demanding. If you had given them the money, they would've asked for you to cover more expenses, because you could afford it. You may or may not receive a "thank you." Move on, be grateful for this knowledge about them.

[Anonymous]

Why did you post this here other than to stir up some controversy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your writing is very poor. I cant understand it

this.

Also, there is a much shorter way to referring to you "husbands brothers wife’s family" .... it's called YOUR SISTER IN LAW'S FAMILY ... and you see them a few times a year, they are an extension on your family. I bet you see them as much as you see your cousins, which you probably consider family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the PP in the judgement thread that makes the top 5% of income?

OP here. No. I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I don’t read or respond on other people’s threads.

troll.

what are you doing on this site, and how do you know about this site ... if you never read or respond to other people's threads.