Husbands family entitlement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be like "we can afford four one-way tickets or two round trip tickets."

I think it's weird that people don't plan for deaths. Last weekend I was talking to my dad about how his sister and her husband (my aunt and uncle) are almost 80 and I've set aside $2k for flight and hotel for when they die. He was like "maybe they'll die during quarantine and then you'll just have to do a zoom funeral and it'll save you money."

OP here. Apparently at of these people have never met this woman or visited her in many years.

[Anonymous]

Are you the PP in the judgement thread that makes the top 5% of income?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the PP in the judgement thread that makes the top 5% of income?

OP here. No. I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I don’t read or respond on other people’s threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the PP in the judgement thread that makes the top 5% of income?

OP here. We are also not rich either. We make a good money but we are not super well off or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be like "we can afford four one-way tickets or two round trip tickets."

I think it's weird that people don't plan for deaths. Last weekend I was talking to my dad about how his sister and her husband (my aunt and uncle) are almost 80 and I've set aside $2k for flight and hotel for when they die. He was like "maybe they'll die during quarantine and then you'll just have to do a zoom funeral and it'll save you money."

Np. Honestly that’s weird. They’re almost 80... my grandparents died in their mid 90s. I plan for life events with a general savings fund. Not based on my relatives age. It would be different if they were sickly parents

[Anonymous]

Just. Say. No. Every. Time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they make a lot more money than you, and why do they think you have more money than them, and what does race have to do with any of this

There are financial expectations/assumptions of family, even extended, in certain cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it like $83 to fly to PR? I think it's odd you're refusing to help family. Someone died, they're not asking you to foot the bill for a vacation.

It’s the family of her BIL’s wife. OP said they would help BIL and wife, but wife wanted full airfare, hotel, and travel expenses for her parents and five cousins, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be like "we can afford four one-way tickets or two round trip tickets."

I think it's weird that people don't plan for deaths. Last weekend I was talking to my dad about how his sister and her husband (my aunt and uncle) are almost 80 and I've set aside $2k for flight and hotel for when they die. He was like "maybe they'll die during quarantine and then you'll just have to do a zoom funeral and it'll save you money."

Np. Honestly that’s weird. They’re almost 80... my grandparents died in their mid 90s. I plan for life events with a general savings fund. Not based on my relatives age. It would be different if they were sickly parents

Welp, my dad's got two sisters so that's four old people. One has recently recovered from cancer, one has had declining health, etc. I am not rich. I need to save money for things like this. And one of these people is my dad's twin sister, so I'd want to be at her funeral, for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be like "we can afford four one-way tickets or two round trip tickets."

+1. Don’t be petty with grieving people. Entitlement (if that’s even what’s going on here) bugs me too, but I don’t let it drive my decisions.

Also agree with PP who said some cultures/families just have expectations about pitching in during major life events. For all you know, they’d do it for you if you needed it.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it is a cultural thing. Shows you have been accepted.
It is not unusual to ask family members, it is how their society has managed for centuries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it is a cultural thing. Shows you have been accepted.
It is not unusual to ask family members, it is how their society has managed for centuries

OP is not their family though.

[Anonymous]

1. This seems like a family relationship problem.


1. I am skeptical of this post as it seems designed to say " see non white people are racist too!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We were considering helping them out at first but I don’t like the entitlement. They feel like we owe them something just because we are white.

Yeah, I don't believe for a second that this happened.

[Anonymous]

Why not just write your OP as BIL and SIL?