Relocated with kids to/from DMV? Regrets? Relieved?

[Anonymous]

Please share your wisdom or cautionary tale. Did you move your family from a big city to acres of land in Great Falls or New Zealand? Trade suburban life for the city center? Leave for another country, or immigrate to DC to find things were (or weren't) what you expected? How did it work out for your kids? What would you have done differently, and what are you glad played out the way it did? I would love to hear your story.

Additionally, I would love to hear your advice for a 40-year-old couple with two kids under two, leaving high-stress San Francisco Bay Area jobs to focus on raising our family. Would you choose the cultural cornucopia of the DMV? If you could choose any neighborhood and any school, where would you have sent your own kids? Our excellent local school district felt obligated to post guards and place cameras at the railroad tracks to deter high school suicides. It's scary. Do you love your school, and does it support your children?

Gratefully,

Please excuse typos from an exhausted dad sneaking out of bed to post in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

Do you think the Washington DC area will be less stressful than San Francisco? I don’t think that’s the case. You’re looking to downgrade your stress level and move to a more relaxed environment, I would not choose DC

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks for the quick reply. Just to clarify, we will not be in the workforce--this is an early at least semi-retirement. If you can call raising two daughters any kind of retirement ... Do you find the DC area stressful apart from work?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure this is the best place to be raising kids In retirement as most peoples' lives and identities in DC completely revolve around what they do for a living (more so than just about anywhere else). You'll be out of sync with just about every other parent you know. I'm in DC proper and barely even know any SAHMs, let alone SAH families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for the quick reply. Just to clarify, we will not be in the workforce--this is an early at least semi-retirement. If you can call raising two daughters any kind of retirement ... Do you find the DC area stressful apart from work?

Well yeah it is full of a bunch of type a people who push their kids a ton.

I don’t understand why you would move here from CA if not from work.

I’d move someplace on the central California coast if I were you. Sonata Barbara, SLO. Maybe Santa Cruz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for the quick reply. Just to clarify, we will not be in the workforce--this is an early at least semi-retirement. If you can call raising two daughters any kind of retirement ... Do you find the DC area stressful apart from work?

Did you get super wealthy after an ipo or something?

[Anonymous]

It could be a good move —-go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure this is the best place to be raising kids In retirement as most peoples' lives and identities in DC completely revolve around what they do for a living (more so than just about anywhere else). You'll be out of sync with just about every other parent you know. I'm in DC proper and barely even know any SAHMs, let alone SAH families.

I disagree with this. Our friends who we see on a regular basis have been made through our kids, not work. But I think we are pretty good at work/life balance. I am a SAHM now though, if that matters. But these were our friends even when both of us worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for the quick reply. Just to clarify, we will not be in the workforce--this is an early at least semi-retirement. If you can call raising two daughters any kind of retirement ... Do you find the DC area stressful apart from work?

I don’t find it stressful. I moved here from manhattan. It’s WAY less stressful than manhattan. There are so many cultural things to do here, but of course they are all closed here.

I probably would live in the suburbs if you are looking for less stressful. Will you use private or public school?

[Anonymous]

What makes you think dc is not high stress? I would argue dc is even more stressful. Remember we have bad weather, this place is highly driven by politics and what you do for a living. The east coast is way different from the west coast....people here take themselves too seriously.

There are other places that would provide what you are looking for. Moving here for culture is one thing but I can tell you after about 18 months you will be done with most of what school has to offer. I'm a lifelong washingtonian who has moved around briefly to other states.

[Anonymous]

OP, Washington, D.C. is hell on earth. And though it sounds like you're well-off, that will only add to the stress of raising children here. The intensity and competition among the upper class famlies here is very toxic. Do not do it. Biggest regret of my entire life. I was raised in a nice suburb outside Philadelphia where people are focused on raising nice, warm famlies. DC is nothing like that.

[Anonymous]

How about outside DC like fairfax.

[Anonymous]

I’m a native Seattleite raising kids in the close-in DC suburbs and trying desperately to get back to the West Coast. The DC area is hyper career focused—it’s the first question anyone asks you (“what do you do?”), even when you meet them through your kids. What makes the DC area even worse is the weather—all winter and summer, barely any spring and fall (basically the opposite of the Bay Area), so you have very small windows to get outside. Then, the outdoor options here are pretty paltry—we’ve done all the hiking, sailing, kayaking to be done in the area and are pretty bored of it all. (Pandemic isn’t helping with that of course.). The cultural opportunities are good, but honestly, the arts scene is no better than any other major city. Certainly, there are certain art forms that are strong here, and I wouldn’t deter you if you had a niche interest.

For me, personally, I am grateful for my 13 years in DC but am ready to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about outside DC like fairfax.

No. Do you like beach life? I’d probably move to Encinitas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, Washington, D.C. is hell on earth. And though it sounds like you're well-off, that will only add to the stress of raising children here. The intensity and competition among the upper class famlies here is very toxic. Do not do it. Biggest regret of my entire life. I was raised in a nice suburb outside Philadelphia where people are focused on raising nice, warm famlies. DC is nothing like that.

You are just doing it wrong. Sending yoir kids to hyper competitive private schools? Not required.