Relocated with kids to/from DMV? Regrets? Relieved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, Washington, D.C. is hell on earth. And though it sounds like you're well-off, that will only add to the stress of raising children here. The intensity and competition among the upper class famlies here is very toxic. Do not do it. Biggest regret of my entire life. I was raised in a nice suburb outside Philadelphia where people are focused on raising nice, warm famlies. DC is nothing like that.

+1. I grew up in one of the North Shore suburbs of Chicago and could not believe the DC area. We were there for 5 years. So glad when we left. If you plan on doing private school, it might be ok. We moved to a place where there is local control of the schools (rather than county based). I’m on a first name basis with the superintendent, other administrators, principals. If that matters to you, find a state like that.

[Anonymous]

Like so many others in this area, we’re only here for work. We will not retire here. My two biggest complaints — it’s too congested and too humid in the summer. If you don’t like lots of people and sweating, don’t move here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please share your wisdom or cautionary tale. Did you move your family from a big city to acres of land in Great Falls or New Zealand? Trade suburban life for the city center? Leave for another country, or immigrate to DC to find things were (or weren't) what you expected? How did it work out for your kids? What would you have done differently, and what are you glad played out the way it did? I would love to hear your story.

Additionally, I would love to hear your advice for a 40-year-old couple with two kids under two, leaving high-stress San Francisco Bay Area jobs to focus on raising our family. Would you choose the cultural cornucopia of the DMV? If you could choose any neighborhood and any school, where would you have sent your own kids? Our excellent local school district felt obligated to post guards and place cameras at the railroad tracks to deter high school suicides. It's scary. Do you love your school, and does it support your children?

Gratefully,

Please excuse typos from an exhausted dad sneaking out of bed to post in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately the highest performing schools have suicides here too. So you’ll need to choose a middle of the road school pyramid to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with most PPs. If you move to a snooty area, you’ll get snooty or Type A people. We moved here from SoCal to a very diverse part of DC that most of them would shun due to DC schools’ (lagging, inaccurate) reputation. My neighbors are lawyers, physicians, nonprofit execs, scientists, local government workers who are pretty down to earth and not super competitive. All smart and interesting people, and neighbors look out for each other. We love it here for raising a family.

The weather is horrible in the summer, but you can’t have everything.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't move to this area unless you have family here or some other ties to the area. I find that the west coast has many more outdoor things to do, and usually better weather.

[Anonymous]

Let me offer the alternate view to the prevailing voice in this thread. We moved from DC to Florida and I miss the DMV's Type A personality. The people here are, for the most part, lazier and dumber. The public schools are pretty bad. The job market sucks unless you're a bartender or DJ.

And DC may be hot/humid in the summer, but it has nothing on Florida.

I know OP isn't asking about Florida, but the point is this: you may not realize how much you actually enjoy the DMV's Type A personality until you move elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

We moved away to a small town in the midwest. Best move ever. On a much smaller scale, we have good private schools, culture, arts, museums, great houses and neighborhoods, all for a small fraction of the cost. And no traffic. Oh..and TONS of fantastic free resources and programs for all kids of any income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved away to a small town in the midwest. Best move ever. On a much smaller scale, we have good private schools, culture, arts, museums, great houses and neighborhoods, all for a small fraction of the cost. And no traffic. Oh..and TONS of fantastic free resources and programs for all kids of any income.

I don't think this would be a good match for someone moving from the Bay area, given the likely extreme change in politics.

[Anonymous]

I live in Montgomery county and I wouldn’t move here. The best thing this area has going for it is diversity, which you would still probably not get if you are super rich and move to a fancier suburb. I find this area disjointed and have found it hard to find a community of people because everyone keeps relocating. Kids don’t stay together because of the way that schools work with all the magnet schools. I have good enough friends that moving to start over is daunting, but I wish I had a true community, and not only is it hard to find that here, but I find most people don’t even want it - preferring to be in their own silos.

[Anonymous]

DC is all about where you work and I wouldn't move there if I wasn't working in a professional job. Boulder CO is one of the classic places where people go to semi-retire with kids still at home. Other college towns might be good choices as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved away to a small town in the midwest. Best move ever. On a much smaller scale, we have good private schools, culture, arts, museums, great houses and neighborhoods, all for a small fraction of the cost. And no traffic. Oh..and TONS of fantastic free resources and programs for all kids of any income.

I don't think this would be a good match for someone moving from the Bay area, given the likely extreme change in politics.

It might’ve been a college town

[Anonymous]

What about boulder or park city?

[Anonymous]

Hey OP! We have moved a bit. I immigrated to the USA from an Asian country. I would not move to a suburb. But we love DC. We have friends in the Bay Area. A few that are caught in the rat race, and some who know how to stay rooted and focus on what's important. One moved out of the city to the East Coast and find life much calmer. All anecdotal, of course. I'd say living in DC has been wonderful for us. There are plenty of quiet(ish) streets and the restaurants-art-culture things are never far. We are here due to work, but I am sure there are a lot of other smaller towns cities that can give you the best of both worlds if money is not an issue.

You need to think what's more important to you - access to museums/theaters etc, walkability to restaurants & cafes, public vs private school, what kind of weather do you guys like, racial diversity, economic diversity, access to nature, is a big yard enough or do you want a farm, would you want to drive, bike or walk as your daily commute.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a small town in the Midwest where literally everyone knows everyone's business. If you aren't used to nosy neighbors, the mindset there can be a bit off-putting for people. I prefer the diversity in this area and I think it's important for my kids to grow up and be friends with a diverse group of people. Our neighborhood in MoCo is friendly and diverse. The biggest draw back in this area is the cost of living. I agree with PP though it's hard to make/keep friends here because people tend to move back to where they transplanted from when they have kids.

DH works from home permanently and I am for the foreseeable future. My boss said this could become the norm so this thread caught my eye because DH and I think if we could literally live anywhere and still have the same jobs, would we move? Our house would sell quickly. Right now we don't have a clear answer but the option is on the table for us. Kids are in 3rd, 1st and preschool and not particularly attached to people in their class I think they would give it up to have their own room and a pool in our backyard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved away to a small town in the midwest. Best move ever. On a much smaller scale, we have good private schools, culture, arts, museums, great houses and neighborhoods, all for a small fraction of the cost. And no traffic. Oh..and TONS of fantastic free resources and programs for all kids of any income.

I always look at these beautiful towns and realize how white such places are. I remember going to Park City and spotted one black family in a full day. Are there any vibrant and culturally/ racially diverse small towns anywhere in the US? I love the idea of it as an adult but would be so unfair for my kid to never see anyone else like them.