Relocated with kids to/from DMV? Regrets? Relieved?
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Anonymous
OP. Not ashamed to be a California stereotype: yes, I would dearly miss good organic produce. This is extraordinarily helpful . Thanks very much! |
Anonymous
PP here. It's been a 180 in our current DC neighborhood compared to the former MD suburb. We live in a SFH neighborhood on the edge of a large wooded area in DC, Rock Creek Park, where we frequently hike, jog, ride bikes, walk the dog. I remember flying out to interview here and thinking and green and lush it is compared to CA. And, we've found the people to be career-oriented but kind, and don't get the fake air we got in our former CA town (not NorCal). Right now we're out of town in NYC, and neighbors have already emailed and texted to let us know they've collected a package for us. Our neighborhood is low crime, very international, very liberal, and extremely diverse (important to us as POC who did not want our kids to be the "lonely onlies" as they would have been in CA where we likely would have bought). We feel lucky to have landed here. We don't work for the government, either. I mentioned before that the weather is terrible, but there are so many other pluses given the international, diverse climate (we are an immigrant/1st-gen family) and cultural amenities that we are here for the long haul. We do not live in a transient neighborhood, although we *may* move back to CA one day, as empty nesters. |
Anonymous
OP. Thank you and good luck! |
Anonymous
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What about heading a short distance north to Sonoma or Napa? Way more laid back, Beautiful area, good weather, tons of outdoor activities and no major culture shock of a cross country move.
Or just rent a house someone for 6-12 months before fully committing? |
Anonymous
| Takoma Park has the crunchy-liberal Bay Area sensibility, but a bit more of a small-town feel. I think you’d like it. |
Anonymous
OP. Thinking back, the suicides must have really colored my impression of the district. It still haunts me to see suicide preveention pamphlets on the train. You are right that other districts seem to handle things better. Palo Alto so highly regarded… is this kind of thing lurking in every top-rated district? I had not considered Lake Tahoe. All three of those would be beautiful. I really, need to find a better way to evaluate schools that captures liveability and sanity, not just test scores. Congrats on finding your new home. |
Anonymous
We moved from DC to Seattle due to high cost of living and stressful jobs, and ran back as soon as we could. What a joke that place was. Now appreciate what DC has so much more, we love raising our kid in a diverse neighborhood where it doesn't rain for 9 months out of the year and people actually travel internationally. |
Anonymous
OP, are you focused on Thomas Jefferson High School? If so, you need to rethink moving your family to live in a place like Fairfax County for the sole purpose of your kids maybe being interested in that kind of school and also maybe getting in... |
Anonymous
OP, I'm the PP and I grew up in California but lived in Fairfax County for 15 years. I also have two daughters so I completely understand where you are coming from. This is just my two cents, but I went to a rigorous private school in CA and my girls are in a rigorous private school here and I think the biggest thing that kept me anchored and has kept them anchored (so far anyway, they aren't through high school) has been my parents and my husband's and my perspectives on school. Yes, many schools, public or private, are rigorous. Yes, it can be very easy for kids to get swept up in that kind of thinking. However, if you and your wife make sure that you don't create a crushing lifestyle for your kids with eight different extracurriculars and nonstop resume padding activities and you clearly define the place that school should occupy in your lives (i.e. it's not the most important thing you'll ever do and it's about the journey and not the destination) then I think that will help create a more pleasant environment for your girls wherever you land. I say this as someone who got into all of the 8 top 25 colleges I applied for (and I have zero hooks), went on to complete two graduate programs, also at the top schools of my choosing, and now have a job that is very satisfying, pays me very well, and gives me a ton of flexibility to also be a wife, mother, and friend. I think luck has been heavily on my side, but I tell you all of that to say that I will never be the type of person who makes my kids think that it's Harvard or bust from the crib on and my parents weren't either and I think that was what helped me and what I hope will help my daughters survive what can be a crushing academic experience. Finally, I will say that I am a huge believer that no one school is magic, and that your kids can have a wonderful experience, get a great education, and end up following the path of their dreams from pretty much anywhere in the US. I would give about 5% consideration to the school pyramid you are buying into and 95% consideration to all the other factors. |
Anonymous
OP, as a native Californian who grew up with an avocado tree in my backyard, I have never gotten over the horror of avocado prices out here! |
Anonymous
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So much negativity about DC! I'm also a CA transplant -- lived here for 25 years -- and have been really happy here.
However, for what OP wants, I'd recommend San Luis Obispo. I went to college there and have a few friends who stayed in the area (and one who did early retirement to the area) to raise their families and they have been very happy with the lifestyle and the schools. It's not cheap but certainly more affordable than the Bay Area, good schools, wonderful outdoor recreation, close to beach, and being a college town there are lots of cultural activities. While I'm really happy in DC and we expect to retire here, if I was to move anywhere it would be to SLO. For DC, I live in Arlington now but have previously lived in MD burbs and in northwest DC and I work in DC. I'm close to metro and do (pre-COVID) use it regularly. We're in a really walkable neighborhood which has been great for my kids as they became teens because they can have an independence I didn't get in a car-dependent LA suburb. So many free museums and other activities. Easy drive to the mountains but can also go to Rock Creek Park, Roosevelt Island, or other close-by natural areas when we want to be in nature. When I first moved here from LA what most struck me was how much more interested in the world people were -- I met people who traveled a lot, talked about a wide variety of topics, made time to volunteer. Definitely not the kind of people I was meeting in LA and I just felt like I fit here much more than there. Now in Arlington, my neighbors are generally down to earth people who work for the government, non-profits or IT and I don't think my kids have felt too much pressure in their schools. However, I think it's a bit different for families with younger kids in our area. So I don't think someone moving in now with little kids has the same experience. We and most of our neighbors have lived her since pre-housing boom and the type of people who bought here when it was somewhat run-down houses for $200k are a lot different than the people moving into a neighborhood that became trendy and paying $1.2M+ for a flip. My kids have also been just ahead of the big wave of overcrowding in the schools so haven't borne the brunt of that. |
Anonymous
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I love DC and moved back here after living elsewhere for a few years, but you have a flexibility that I didn't have and it doesn't sound like you are particularly motivated by the things that make DC great (to me).
If I had your money, and priorities, I would never move to this area. It's hot, competitive, super career focused, and transient. |
Anonymous
The suicides really bothered us too. It is very difficult to compare schools across states. And there is no even playing field. There is on going math tutoring starting in elementary to put kids in the top math track and keep them ahead, there is $test prep and $private college counselors. When you see great school stats, you are mostly seeing an indicator of parental wealth. And PA has the most of that with very wealthy families with kids in public schools. One of my children had a student teacher who had grown up in PA and was at Stanford, and she told me so much about what had happened during the suicide crisis years. The other districts like Los Gatos,Los Altos, etc didn't have suicides but they are still very high pressure districts. This is really why people pay for the $$$ private schools in the area. They want the opportunities and choice of classes but without the other stuff. |
Anonymous
We're thinking of making the same move. Can you please say more about why you hate it? |
Anonymous
| We have lived in the NY area, SF East Bay Area, DMV area and the north shore of Chicago. Except for the winter months Chicago was far and away the best for us. Very nice people, great public schools and very family oriented. Despite its recent problems Chicago is a great city especially in the summer. But the state has huge financial problems and that’s weighing on everyone. |