Relocated with kids to/from DMV? Regrets? Relieved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved our family from L.A. to MoCo, and immediately wished we could move back. We've been here for several years and still can't wait to go back. We've met plenty of people who also moved here from CA, and they also can't wait to move back. Before Covid, we spent every weekend out of state. Philly, NYC, Chicago, Toronto etc. Don't do it!

OP. I'm sorry. I hope you find a way out to a place that is a better fit. Thank you for sharing this. Sobering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Fairfax County. You have to love autocorrect.

They are good. But Fairfax county is NOT DC in any way. So whatever pulls you towards DC might not be there in the actual place that you live in an hour or more away from the city. You might be able to find other similar or even better school districts in other areas.

+1. You won't get a "sense of place" as much in the suburbs as you would in DC itself. I'm speaking from experience--I'm the former CA resident who moved to DC. Before DC, we briefly lived in a somewhat bland MD suburb with highly ranked schools, and decided that was not what we wanted.

Having lived in both MD and VA, VA used to have much more of a sense of place than MD. Unfortunately I think the distinct sense of place in northern VA has largely disappeared in the last 20 years.

OP. Hmm thank you. Any thoughts to why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for the quick reply. Just to clarify, we will not be in the workforce--this is an early at least semi-retirement. If you can call raising two daughters any kind of retirement ... Do you find the DC area stressful apart from work?

I have no idea why anyone would choose to live in DC if not for work. In your shoes I'd move to the Pacific Northwest.

OP. Oregon and Washington state would certainly be an easier move, and lovely. Have you experience living on the Pacific Coast? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Fairfax County. You have to love autocorrect.

They are good. But Fairfax county is NOT DC in any way. So whatever pulls you towards DC might not be there in the actual place that you live in an hour or more away from the city. You might be able to find other similar or even better school districts in other areas.

+1. You won't get a "sense of place" as much in the suburbs as you would in DC itself. I'm speaking from experience--I'm the former CA resident who moved to DC. Before DC, we briefly lived in a somewhat bland MD suburb with highly ranked schools, and decided that was not what we wanted.

OP. Thank you. It sounds like you lived the experience we're contemplating. I was really hoping the excellent-sounding Metro could bride the gap somehow ...

Oh my. The Metro is not excellent. We live in Falls Church and I don’t think it’s even running to DC currently. It’s not even because of the pandemic - just the never ending track work and repairs we have in normal times. Don’t get me started on escalators and elevators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are your parents/siblings/inlaws? Given your unlimited options and few constraints, why not move near some of them?

OP. All passed away, unfortunately. Note: take care of your health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IF you don't have to be here, I'd suggest you look elsewhere. It's a great place, but hyper competitive, everyone is worried about their jobs and it's expensive. If you have the option to live somewhere happier, with a lower COL, that's so much more appealing than coming here.

OP. Fair enough. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP most people live here because of jobs. Retire here? The people who retire in DCUM land do it because friends and family are here. It’s not a retirement destination. Unless you love Va country side or MD beaches/ countryside.

Sounds like I'm in the minority here, but I think DC is a great place to retire.

I don't want to spend retirement isolated in some suburb. In DC, you can walk to everything, enjoy nice parks, have great outdoor dining, access plenty of events and museums, and have the good parts of city life on a scale more easy and manageable than most other big cities. Sounds better than spending every day playing shuffle board at some "active adult" community in the suburbs. To each their own.

OP. Sounds like you are living the dream. Cheers and thankss for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love it here and don’t think it’s hyper competitive, at least where I live. But I wouldn’t move here for the lifestyle you seek. You would be fish out of water. I have family in your situation and they are staying in the Bay Area. I’m sure there are other places with better recreation since you don’t need to work.

OP. I am getting the picture that DC / DMV can be great, but maybe not a perfect fit for our situation. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I relocated to Park City, Utah just 3 weeks ago after spending the last 20 years in Bethesda, Maryland---the last 7 years of them as a mom. My daughter had an excellent kindergarten year at Bethesda Elementary. Other pros to the DC area:The Smithsonian museums, National zoo, children's theater (Glen Echo, Imagination Stage) and Great Falls, ROck Creek Park, Cresecent trail in downtown Bethesda for opportunities to be in nature. Cons; High cost of living (although much less than SF, humid summers, disappointing winters with lttle to no snow, except for the random blizzard every few years or so, tons of construction---at least in downtown Bethesda. I loved raising my daughter in the DMV, however, I can honestly say that this move to Park City has been AMAZING, and overall (imo) a better place to raise a family (liberal, low cost of living, nature GALORE, historical main street, culture, excellent schools, laid back vibe---especially compared to DC.)

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm one of the rare-ish types that LOVES living in DC. I like politics, I like that people are passionate about their work here, I don't feel like I need huge green spaces nor the dense urban-ness of NYC. But even I would never choose to live here if I could live anywhere in the country and work were not a factor! Why would you choose someplace with such a high cost of living when you don't need the amenities it provides? If you're wealthy enough to retire while you have kids and even consider living here, you're wealthy enough to live somewhere beautiful and scenic regularly and shell out for flights and such regularly to see the culture that cities across the US have to offer. If I were in your shoes, I'd live in coastal California in less expensive areas than SF/LA, or maybe Boulder or Park City UT if I felt more partial to mountains, and then travel widely (post pandemic).

OP. Thank you. This is very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks for the quick reply. Just to clarify, we will not be in the workforce--this is an early at least semi-retirement. If you can call raising two daughters any kind of retirement ... Do you find the DC area stressful apart from work?

Did you get super wealthy after an ipo or something?

Ran a very profitable small business for 15 years and was fortunate in the stock market. Wife had a very successful medical practice. We certainly aren't billionaires but we could probably live more or less wherever fits us. I am grateful for that. I loved my job but it took the birth of my second child to realize the stress was slowly killing me (very nasty insomnia). I am healthy now but realize I only have so much time here to raise a family and enjoy the fruit of our hard work (and luck!) Giving our daughters a really good education to give them the options to choose what they love seems like a high priority. The schools in Fairy County certainly rank exceptionally well, but that can also mean exceptional pressure. We want what is best for them and the family.

Thanks!

Honestly, OP, you sound like too nice--and humble--a person, to live in DC. I really don't think you'll like it. I will say, out in Great Falls, the people tend to become a little more low key, but it's really a long way from downtown and all the restaurants, culture, etc. Being close to those things comes at quite a cost. My kids hate living here and cannot wait to get out.

OP. You are very kind. I had hoped someone would say Great Falls is practically on the doorstep of DC, but that is clearly fantasy. I hope your kids find peace there or get tp there happy places soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: What about boulder or park city?

Just moved to Park City 3 weeks ago from DMV, and posted several pages up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: What about boulder or park city?

Just moved to Park City 3 weeks ago from DMV, and posted several pages up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, Washington, D.C. is hell on earth. And though it sounds like you're well-off, that will only add to the stress of raising children here. The intensity and competition among the upper class famlies here is very toxic. Do not do it. Biggest regret of my entire life. I was raised in a nice suburb outside Philadelphia where people are focused on raising nice, warm famlies. DC is nothing like that.

OP. Thanks for this. Any extended family connections aside, would you have chosen Philadelphia to raise your kids?

Yes. 100%. I grew up on the Main Line. I was pressured into moving here by my spouse and it was a horrible decision. Unfortunately, I wound up being the breadwinner in a pretty niche career track, which I couldn't replicate up there, so we're stuck here until retirement. We will not retire anywhere in the mid-Atlantic, though. But if I could do it over and raise my family on the Main Line, I absolutely would! All the benefits of life in DC and then some, but without the intensity and arrogance.

OP. You make Philly sound great. Thanks for this.

[Anonymous]

Actually posted above (00ps)