Third Child or Advanced Degree?

[Anonymous]

I’m 38 and have two kids ( an almost 3 year old and and an almost 1.5 year old). They are amazing! I’m a nurse and have been thinking of going back to school for my MSN for NP. It’s always something I wanted to do but I went to nursing school later in life ( finished at 35) and didn’t want to put off having kids. My husband and I are contemplating having a third. We will start trying at the end of the year if we decide to. We are not 100% sure we want a third as our boys are a handful and we are 38 and 42. My MSN will take 3 years ( PT) and I will be working PT too. We don’t need the extra money but there are many advantages to getting my masters. Would you have a third child first or get an advanced degree first?

[Anonymous]

Have the kid first.

You can keep working part time in a career you know well during the little kid years. When your youngest starts kindergarten, go for the advanced degree. Remember, there’s no age limit on getting a masters, but there is an age limit on fertility — and youre getting close to it! You can still have everything you want — just not at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Are your kids' college funds funded?

[Anonymous]

If you know for sure you want a third child, I agree that you should try to do that first. The difference between getting your masters at 41 or 44 or 45 is negligible in the long run, especially if you don't absolutely need it to progress to the next step in your career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids' college funds funded?

OP here. Not fully funded but we put money into their college funds.

[Anonymous]

What’s your childcare situation?

[Anonymous]

Don’t have a third kid. It complicates family dynamics and makes everything more difficult. Go back to school and invest in yourself.

[Anonymous]

Honestly at your age I would do neither, but I guess if I had to choose, then advanced degree. You are basically going to be paying for college right before you are trying to retire, so you need to be doing some serious serious saving on both fronts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have a third kid. It complicates family dynamics and makes everything more difficult. Go back to school and invest in yourself.

This.

You’re not sure you want a third really means you don’t want a third.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your childcare situation?

OP here. We have a nanny and my MIL helps out with babysitting if our nanny can’t come in. We are not putting our son in preschool with everything going on, but we plan to eventually send him part-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly at your age I would do neither, but I guess if I had to choose, then advanced degree. You are basically going to be paying for college right before you are trying to retire, so you need to be doing some serious serious saving on both fronts.

OP here. My husband and I both have no debt and save very well. We are not rich but he has an inheritance and makes very good money. We have a HHI or $450k but majority of that is from his salary. We both want to work until 60-65. We will have a college fund for all our children whether it’s for college or trade school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have a third kid. It complicates family dynamics and makes everything more difficult. Go back to school and invest in yourself.

This.

You’re not sure you want a third really means you don’t want a third.

OP here. We are 75% sure we want a third. The main thing is our ages and me being me more high risk because of it. We would have a third if we were younger without hesitation. We have two very easy kids though so that does add into our choice. I think we would be done with two if it was harder but both kids are great sleepers and super easy. We also have childcare and family help.

[Anonymous]

Go for a 3rd now and start the program. Be prepared for hell on wheels with #3.

[Anonymous]

My guess is you are a NP and your DH is a doctor.

I think you should ask yourselves very honestly if you want three very closely-spaced kids and the stresses that come with that. I don't think your age is a concern if you are in good health, it's more having three kids closely together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have a third kid. It complicates family dynamics and makes everything more difficult. Go back to school and invest in yourself.

This.

You’re not sure you want a third really means you don’t want a third.

OP here. We are 75% sure we want a third. The main thing is our ages and me being me more high risk because of it. We would have a third if we were younger without hesitation. We have two very easy kids though so that does add into our choice. I think we would be done with two if it was harder but both kids are great sleepers and super easy. We also have childcare and family help.

How is your health and energy levels overall?