Third Child or Advanced Degree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find your perspective troubling. There’s nothing wrong with having money but have some perspective about your privilege. You sound really tone deaf. The median HHI in the US is 61k. Your family makes more than 7 times that! The top 1 percent of earners in the US make over 350K. That means your household, and yes, this makes you wealthy.

OP here. We do make great money but we are not rich in terms of making millions a year. I only make $80k/year. Most of our money is from my husband.

You are rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find your perspective troubling. There’s nothing wrong with having money but have some perspective about your privilege. You sound really tone deaf. The median HHI in the US is 61k. Your family makes more than 7 times that! The top 1 percent of earners in the US make over 350K. That means your household, and yes, this makes you wealthy.

OP here. We do make great money but we are not rich in terms of making millions a year. I only make $80k/year. Most of our money is from my husband.

You are rich

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you posting, OP? What do you want to hear?

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is you are a NP and your DH is a doctor.

I think you should ask yourselves very honestly if you want three very closely-spaced kids and the stresses that come with that. I don't think your age is a concern if you are in good health, it's more having three kids closely together.

I agree with this. I think if I were you I would postpone number tres and go back to school first. Then you can asses how the reality of a third child would seem at your life once you are in a more secure footing of what that time of your life looks like post-grad school. You are fortunate to have the option to consider it. and so fortunate to have your MIL!But be aware that three kids so close together will make it ten times as hard and less likely you will end up going back to school. Go back to school, get pregnant at 40(if you decide this is what you ultimately want), have the third, take time to be in that time of your life and then get back to a job you feel amazing doing while being a Rockstar Mom. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

You need to be passionate about having a third, not just considering it.

[Anonymous]

WTF?

You aren't very resourceful are you? There are plenty of regular hours jobs for RNs. You'd just take a pay cut.

Also you are rich. This is coming from someone that makes 350K per year. I'm rich too.

Also you are arrogant. Very likely your 3rd will bring you to your knees. If you've never had a rough baby it's coming next. Trust me, it could collapse your marriage and sanity.

[Anonymous]

If I were you and had your wealth, I’d definitely quit my job and have a third. And forget school.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your household income is as high as you say it is, you can have a third kid, stop working, go to schools full time, keep paying your nanny, and save for college. Also, 38 and 42 are not that old. This isn’t a huge decision. Just have the third kid and carry on!

[Anonymous]

We had a 3rd...we ended up with twins.

[Anonymous]

This whole post seems like a humblebrag about easy kids and a high HHI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a 3rd...we ended up with twins.

Only have a 3rd if you are prepared for your world to get turned upside down. You have no way of knowing what the personality of the 3rd will be, if the child will have special needs, if you will have multiples like the PP above, exc. If you are ok with any and all possibilities then go for it.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for OP’s current kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a 3rd...we ended up with twins.

My friend ended up with triplets!

[Anonymous]

If you have a third, just keep in mind that their lives are fairly self-contained when they are 1 and 3. Later on there might be sports, instruments, swimming, dance, play dates, etc. For two kids of school age you need multiple people to drive them around plus someone to help with the youngest. So with your income it’s not undoable, but it will definitely feel different than it does now. You will be more split and each one of them will be literally talking to you at the same time about wanting to do different things. Right now the 1 year old is kind of ore verbal and the 3 year old probably doesn’t have a lot going on in terms of activities. Think 5, 6 years down the line, how the activity will work with you being in school and everyone staying up later. It will just be more to juggle off you are a hands on parent.

[Anonymous]

OP your post annoys everyone for a plethora of reasons. Most obviously because you hid your HHI. That is a huge factor in most people’s calculus. So we are left to wonder about your straightforwardness and/or your judgement. In various circumstances, the advanced degree could be financially critical and wise or instead selfish and clueless in terms of your family.