ILs canceled family vacation…and blame me (who had zero to do with it)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

Some of you DCUM posters seem to thrive on being confrontational. Op knows she has a MiL problem but at least she doesn’t have a DH problem. Just let it go.

What are you talking about? OP has a DH problem, not a mother in law problem. DH said something stupid to his mother about OP demanding vaccinations stats. It's obvious that he did. He shouldn't have. He should have asked as if he was the one inquiring.

Why are you making sh!t up? Find something better to do with your time.

So you believe OP's MIL just picked OP's name out of her magic hat, don't you?

NP. Are you always this ham-fisted? There’s a lot of room and nuance between “DH asked his dad to make some inquiries on vaccine status after he and DH and OP decided they needed the information” and “DH said something stupid to his mother about OP ***DEMANDING*** vaccinations [sic] stats.” Where did you get “demanding”?

What’s wrong with you?

I get it from MIL's response.

What's wrong with you that you cannot make logical conclusions? Why would you rather think that her MIL is crazy? I am glad that you used the bolded. If not communicated properly, that "needed" that you used sounds a lot like a demand.

It is almost certain that her DH was not very interested in the vaccine stats, and he made it known (unintentionally/intentionally-doesn't really matter) to FIL that it was his wife who was inquiring(or in your own words, "needed") and that he did not really care. FIL then told MIL.

Put on your thinking cap!

How about this for a "thinking cap": if someone invited you to go to their beach house, wouldn't you "need to know" the address? If they invited you to dinner, wouldn't you "need to know" the name of the restaurant? If your kid's friend invited them to a sleepover, wouldn't you "need to know" a bit about the family?

Yes, when making plans during a pandemic, vaccination status of the people involved is, indeed, a need to know in order to make an informed decision about whether my unvaccinated kids can participate.

You have a good day, now.

Oh I agree with you. I would definitely want to make an informed decision about whether my unvaccinated kids can participate.

However, I hope that my DH would be able to communicate our needs properly. Unfortunately for OP, hers did a terrible job at communicatiing their family's needs.

Beautiful backtrack.

Beautiful comprehension skills!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

Have any of you geniuses figured out yet that the FIL could have misrepresented the DH's conversation to his wife and that perhaps the FIL actually wanted to cancel himself?

Of course, a possibility

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

Have any of you geniuses figured out yet that the FIL could have misrepresented the DH's conversation to his wife and that perhaps the FIL actually wanted to cancel himself?

Of course, a possibility

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs have a large, extended family reunion involving two beach houses every year. Obviously, last year was canceled. This year, they booked the houses and said they’d keep an eye on things, which I thought was perfectly reasonable. This was before the delta variant started affecting the United States. We sent in our deposit and confirmed that at least my husband would attend.

A few weeks ago, I asked my husband if he would please ask his father (one of the event organizers) if there was a way he could put out some feelers and get a sense of how many attendees would be unvaccinated. We simply wanted more information to decide whether just my husband would attend, or if the kids and I would go as well.

My husband asked his dad, who started to make a few inquiries on the best way to go about it with the co-organizers. A few days later, out of the blue, the whole event was canceled.

My MIL then sent a text to ME saying that she was disappointed that I threw a wrench in everything by bringing up vaccines, which is everyone’s personal choice, etc. I never once suggested that the event be canceled, and I never even suggested that DH shouldn’t go. I had no direct contact with FIL or the other event planners over this. And *I’m* the one she texts!

So far, I have not responded. Should I? What would I say?

I don't know how you can deal with your MIL. Pretty much the opposite of a "personal choice" in the middle of a pandemic. UGH. Kudos to you OP for even trying with these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

Have any of you geniuses figured out yet that the FIL could have misrepresented the DH's conversation to his wife and that perhaps the FIL actually wanted to cancel himself?

Of course, a possibility

+1

+2

Even if FIL wanted to cancel, he could have just as easily misrepresented the conversation by claiming his son, OP's DH, was concerned and hesitant.

How did FIL know to use OP's name for his purpose? Easy: OP's DH told FIL that this concern/hesitancy was mainly/solely OP's. That was unnecessary information, and by sharing it with FIL, OP's DH threw OP under the bus.