ILs canceled family vacation…and blame me (who had zero to do with it)

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't want to fight with her kid. My MIL is the same though not in a passive aggressive, trying to lay blame way - she can't stand being the bad guy to her kids or even making requests of them that she knows they will find annoying, so she tries to back door things through their spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL was not on board with just your husband going if unvaccinated relatives were going. She wanted to recreate the reunions of past years and was hoping no one would bring up the pandemic or who was vaccinated. She blamed you because your her DIL not her child. And she assumes that the woman is the primary decision maker in terms of the kids. In her mind, if you didn’t think others being vaccinated was important to your unvaccinated kids then your husband would go along. She’s selfish and wants her reunion that she imagines over the well being of any of the under 12 year olds.

Your FIL probably made some calls and some of your relatives are unvaccinated. Others with kids then decided not to attend. The unvaccinated jerks probably got mad because someone questioned their selfishness. FIL and other organizers did not want to bear the expense if the only people showing up weren’t the ones they wanted to see.

I agree with the blo hole response. Your MIL is not worth the effort.

1+. This is what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Closure!

[Anonymous]

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

[Anonymous]

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

Then your DH handles all other communication about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

Some of you DCUM posters seem to thrive on being confrontational. Op knows she has a MiL problem but at least she doesn’t have a DH problem. Just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs have a large, extended family reunion involving two beach houses every year. Obviously, last year was canceled. This year, they booked the houses and said they’d keep an eye on things, which I thought was perfectly reasonable. This was before the delta variant started affecting the United States. We sent in our deposit and confirmed that at least my husband would attend.

A few weeks ago, I asked my husband if he would please ask his father (one of the event organizers) if there was a way he could put out some feelers and get a sense of how many attendees would be unvaccinated. We simply wanted more information to decide whether just my husband would attend, or if the kids and I would go as well.

My husband asked his dad, who started to make a few inquiries on the best way to go about it with the co-organizers. A few days later, out of the blue, the whole event was canceled.

My MIL then sent a text to ME saying that she was disappointed that I threw a wrench in everything by bringing up vaccines, which is everyone’s personal choice, etc. I never once suggested that the event be canceled, and I never even suggested that DH shouldn’t go. I had no direct contact with FIL or the other event planners over this. And *I’m* the one she texts!

So far, I have not responded. Should I? What would I say?

All your kids will be unvaccinated. You can still get and spread covid. This is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Closure!

Oh no. This is the end of round one. Now she will start a campaign against OP. Trust me this is not over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Closure!

Oh no. This is the end of round one. Now she will start a campaign against OP. Trust me this is not over.

But now you have proof in writing that MIL is trying to blame everything on OP. And it’s clear that her husband has her back which is HUGE.

From now on all OP has to do is sigh and say “It’s like the beach reunion all over again—why does your mom hate me so much?” and she wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[Copying your husband and your FIL]

“Hi Jane, I’d like to clear up some confusion. While I did ask Brian to talk to Carl and see if there was a way to get more information about how many adults on the trip would be unvaccinated, I did not ask for the trip to be canceled. Brian and I wanted this information so that we could make an informed decision about whether Brian alone should go, or if I should also attend with the kids.

I’m not sure where you got the impression that I ‘canceled the trip,’ or asked for it to be canceled. Hoping Carl can tell you more about how he, Betty and Jason came to this decision as the planners of this trip.”

Seriously. X1000 this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just heard from MIL, via text to me/DH and my FIL:

"OK"

Hahahaha, that's it! Wow.

Well done Op.

DH should respond, “Actually, it’s not OK that you falsely accused my wife of something she had nothing to do with.”

Have any of you geniuses figured out yet that the FIL could have misrepresented the DH's conversation to his wife and that perhaps the FIL actually wanted to cancel himself?

[Anonymous]

So you mil is pro "masks as personal choice" but was disappointed when you chose to exercise your personal choice to receive vaccine info that has ramifications for you and your children? Nice...She does not exactly swim in the pool of empathy. i think this was quite unfair op And she was right to respond "ok" because she was presumptuous and called out on it. I would not confront...just give her the chill back...avoid conversation for awhile, be polite but remote... all polite, but chilled. Watch how she handles it. Whenever my mil blamed me unfairly this was how I responded. Over time she tried harder to be nicer and this bs kind of confronting stopped. She may still internally blame me....but she does not burden me with it anymore.