My sister just tried to stage a parenting intervention with me, basically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends’ kids whose parents are strict about their diet go completely bonkers when they see junk food. I had kids literally stuff their pocket with junk lying around our house unnoticed. The parents claims the child doesn’t like sweets only fruit, meanwhile the child is stuffing her pockets fill out airheads.

I think it’s upsetting to these people to see how much their children still want all that junk.

Every child goes bonkers when they see junk food. It has scientifically been proven to be a drug. Sugar is a drug. Food is a drug. Lays has spent millions of dollars fabricating Doritos in a lab in such a way that your brain is triggered to keep wanting more. That multibillion dollar industry is what makes junk food so hard to put down. And that is why some parents don't want their kids to eat it - because it's so hard to stop. For many people, they cannot outsmart food manufacturers so they opt not to keep that crap in their homes. Because these companies have made it a completely unlevel playing field. So all kids love junk. They are hardwired to do so. How much you allow them to eat is up to the parent. But why are you judging other parents for trying to do their best and keep it away from their kids? You're both trying to act in their best interest so why don't you give deference to each mom in that she knows her kid and family best?

More lies and coping by the lazy parent echo chamber. You act like families who don't eat fast food and other garbage eat plain raw oatmeal 3 meals a day. My kids eat delicious food. We just do not feed them garbage.

Sorry, but stocking Doritos, sugary drinks, and candy in your house is just low class. If you fail to realize this it's because you're low class.

Saying this kind of thing makes it seem like you’re straining to escape whatever the “lower class” is in your mind, but you’re trying too hard and can’t quite make it. Relax about everything, especially judging others, and your ascent with be much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your sister you are really worried that her kids are going to totally rebel and be drug addicts because of her crazy strict lifestyle.

And then laugh and say “see sis, let’s stay out of each other’s parenting.”

+1.

Sorry, but screens and occasional fast food are part of the majority of families lives. Your sister is the one choosing to do the abnormal thing here. She's going to have to handle that with her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your sister you are really worried that her kids are going to totally rebel and be drug addicts because of her crazy strict lifestyle.

And then laugh and say “see sis, let’s stay out of each other’s parenting.”

+1.

Sorry, but screens and occasional fast food are part of the majority of families lives. Your sister is the one choosing to do the abnormal thing here. She's going to have to handle that with her kids.

+100. It doesn't sound like you are going all out on screens and junk food.

[Anonymous]

Your sister's kids are going to have to live in a world where people are going to eat sweets and junk food, and use devices with screens in front of them. She made that choice. If you were feeding her kids junk food and handing them the electronics, she would have a point. But she is asking you to preserve her odd unsustainable bubble, which is totally different.

[Anonymous]

That's really hard on the other kids when one set comes out with french fries or Ipads and they don't have them.

Watching TV movie probably better or all sharing the Ipad.

it is kind of sad to be on an extended family vacation in nature and spend the evenings on a screen. Try to come up with a joint game plan and set screen limits for all.

my kids have definitely had "friends" who preferred to play on their chromebooks or ipads when we visited. It was sad and the former friend would always choose the screen over playing with a friend. sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents, sister's family, and my family are vacationing together -- separate cottages but nearby, see each other for meals, activities during day, etc. This is for my parents' 50th anniv, not a regular thing...

My sister and I have kids same age (8/5). They live 1000 miles away and we see them a few times a year.

Her kids are not allowed to use iPads, are not allowed sweets or ice cream or unhealthy snacks (chips/fruit rollups etc), and are not allowed fast-food.

During this trip, I ran to Target with my kids for pool stuff and stopped at BK. Because I know my sister doesn't allow it, my kids ate in the car on the way home, but I guess my older son ambled in with a bag of fries, his cousin saw it, wanted some, and it caused a blowup.

I also let my kids zone out with iPads after the pool yesterday before dinnertime. Her kids aren't allowed to do that, but since mine are, my parents basically begged her to just let everyone watch a movie instead, so that was fine, but I could tell she was mad. It wasn't even intentional, my kids just pulled out their iPads, she saw it, and began fuming. They aren't even in the same cottage as us!

It has been two days and already it's awkward.

At lunch my sister took me aside and told me, "out of kindness," how worried she is about my kids -- being allowed to consume junk food and spending so much time on screens. She wanted to get into it from an educational and developmental perspective.

I really just want to be on vacation and not defend my choices to her.

My parents seem more or less oblivious and I do not want to draw them into this, but I am also not going to deny my kids ice cream or not let them mess around on their iPad before dinner because my sister thinks it's not OK.

WWYD!?

Ugh I am so sorry, op! You are me and my SIL is your sister. Basically we did one holiday together and I vowed never again. Now it is different with your sister so this is what I would do. I would say nicely "Sis, we are on vacation so we are not as strict. Actually we are not totally strict at all compared to you and I would appreciate you respect my choices as I respect yours. So, politely telling her to stay in her lane.

Just curious how were you raised? More like what your sister is doing or your doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would be extra careful not to create envy in her poor children - so no pulling out of iPads, no walking in with fries, etc. It’s good for your kids to have a detox from all that, frankly. You don’t need to live like this all year - just when your families get together.

I think OP's sister was way out of line, but I would do the same thing anyway. Let them eat whatever you want when they are with you, sure, but not in front of them. And no screens outside of your cottage. It's not like it will hurt them to have a little less screen time -- they can play a game with their cousins or read a book or help make dinner or whatever together. But I'd do it because (1) less screen time is better anyway, (2) if they don't get a lot of time with their cousins, I'd rather they were spending time with them instead of glued to a screen anyway, and (3) I was raised that flaunting things in front of people who don't have them is unkind. The cousins can't help their parents' rules; show them a little grace by doing things they can participate in.

PP you replied to. You said it so much better!

Both of you- best comments on the thread.

+1

no getting out of the car eating your french fries.

Has this happened before? Or been a pattern?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would be extra careful not to create envy in her poor children - so no pulling out of iPads, no walking in with fries, etc. It’s good for your kids to have a detox from all that, frankly. You don’t need to live like this all year - just when your families get together.

Dp I disagree with you. Op's kids aren't creating envy. It is French fries, and a normal typical food people eat on vacation and everyday. If sis wants to make certain food "forbidden fruit" it is on her not op. I bet your sis's kids will eat every "bad" food when they get away from mom. Op should allowed to do what she wants. She isn't giving them a shotgun and crack cocaine!

[Anonymous]

Shat do the dads / fathers have to say?

Because let's face it, fast food and screens are quite the parenting crutch.

Making a sandwich before heading out or playing board games or night activities is way more work.

[Anonymous]

Everybody having a screens/no screens or occasional junk food/no junk food argument are barking up the wrong trees. My kids know not to whine for things other kids have and that every family is different. If your sister can't shut down her kids' whining at their ages, that is the real parenting fail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shat do the dads / fathers have to say?

Because let's face it, fast food and screens are quite the parenting crutch.

Making a sandwich before heading out or playing board games or night activities is way more work.

Way to miss the point, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Why is this same sort of snark parroted here over and over? It's really not "helicopter" -- and by they you mean crazy and overbearing -- to not let you children eat garbage fast food and not let them become addicted to iPads/iPhones. It's actually HEALTHY and RESPONSIBLE. It's EASY to be a lazy ass parent who lets your kids be dullards who leave you alone while they're addicted to junk food, video games, iPads and whatever degeneracy and filth they can find online.

And then as a coping mechanism, you cling to the idea the kids raised better than yours will ACTUALLY turn out to be failures! I suspect you're the same trolls who obsessively post in the private school forum the same tired cliches about private school kids all being drug addicts.

Please point out where OP indicates that her children are addicted to junk food and screens, because I must have missed that part.

Moderation is key. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Going to Burger King period SCREAMS low class addicted to fast food. Not Chick-fil-A or Panera or Sweetgreen...Burger King is basically dog food. Let alone while ON VACATION. OP also attempts to rationalize her kids being addicted to screens, it's all just really obvious.

Her sister doesn't sound crazy to me. Her sister sounds normal. Plus factor in the OP is likely exaggerating to sister's behavior to make her point and sway this message board.

More likely the sister is genuinely worried because her low class sister can't go a day without feeding her kids fast food. And maybe the sister detects other stunted behavior and maturity in her nieces and nephews.

I'm also guessing the sister is married and it sounds like OP is a single mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your sister you are really worried that her kids are going to totally rebel and be drug addicts because of her crazy strict lifestyle.

And then laugh and say “see sis, let’s stay out of each other’s parenting.”

Plenty of academic research proving the contrary. Kids like OP's sadly turn out to be underachievers more often than not. While kids raised with proper nutrition and impulse control tend to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Why is this same sort of snark parroted here over and over? It's really not "helicopter" -- and by they you mean crazy and overbearing -- to not let you children eat garbage fast food and not let them become addicted to iPads/iPhones. It's actually HEALTHY and RESPONSIBLE. It's EASY to be a lazy ass parent who lets your kids be dullards who leave you alone while they're addicted to junk food, video games, iPads and whatever degeneracy and filth they can find online.

And then as a coping mechanism, you cling to the idea the kids raised better than yours will ACTUALLY turn out to be failures! I suspect you're the same trolls who obsessively post in the private school forum the same tired cliches about private school kids all being drug addicts.

Please point out where OP indicates that her children are addicted to junk food and screens, because I must have missed that part.

Moderation is key. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Going to Burger King period SCREAMS low class addicted to fast food. Not Chick-fil-A or Panera or Sweetgreen...Burger King is basically dog food. Let alone while ON VACATION. OP also attempts to rationalize her kids being addicted to screens, it's all just really obvious.

Her sister doesn't sound crazy to me. Her sister sounds normal. Plus factor in the OP is likely exaggerating to sister's behavior to make her point and sway this message board.

More likely the sister is genuinely worried because her low class sister can't go a day without feeding her kids fast food. And maybe the sister detects other stunted behavior and maturity in her nieces and nephews.

I'm also guessing the sister is married and it sounds like OP is a single mom.

Found the sister! Mind your own business!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Why is this same sort of snark parroted here over and over? It's really not "helicopter" -- and by they you mean crazy and overbearing -- to not let you children eat garbage fast food and not let them become addicted to iPads/iPhones. It's actually HEALTHY and RESPONSIBLE. It's EASY to be a lazy ass parent who lets your kids be dullards who leave you alone while they're addicted to junk food, video games, iPads and whatever degeneracy and filth they can find online.

And then as a coping mechanism, you cling to the idea the kids raised better than yours will ACTUALLY turn out to be failures! I suspect you're the same trolls who obsessively post in the private school forum the same tired cliches about private school kids all being drug addicts.

Please point out where OP indicates that her children are addicted to junk food and screens, because I must have missed that part.

Moderation is key. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Going to Burger King period SCREAMS low class addicted to fast food. Not Chick-fil-A or Panera or Sweetgreen...Burger King is basically dog food. Let alone while ON VACATION. OP also attempts to rationalize her kids being addicted to screens, it's all just really obvious.

Her sister doesn't sound crazy to me. Her sister sounds normal. Plus factor in the OP is likely exaggerating to sister's behavior to make her point and sway this message board.

More likely the sister is genuinely worried because her low class sister can't go a day without feeding her kids fast food. And maybe the sister detects other stunted behavior and maturity in her nieces and nephews.

I'm also guessing the sister is married and it sounds like OP is a single mom.

The person railing about "low class" is getting shirty about . . . Panera?

Irony truly is dead.