My sister just tried to stage a parenting intervention with me, basically
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Anonymous
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My parents, sister's family, and my family are vacationing together -- separate cottages but nearby, see each other for meals, activities during day, etc. This is for my parents' 50th anniv, not a regular thing...
My sister and I have kids same age (8/5). They live 1000 miles away and we see them a few times a year. Her kids are not allowed to use iPads, are not allowed sweets or ice cream or unhealthy snacks (chips/fruit rollups etc), and are not allowed fast-food. During this trip, I ran to Target with my kids for pool stuff and stopped at BK. Because I know my sister doesn't allow it, my kids ate in the car on the way home, but I guess my older son ambled in with a bag of fries, his cousin saw it, wanted some, and it caused a blowup. I also let my kids zone out with iPads after the pool yesterday before dinnertime. Her kids aren't allowed to do that, but since mine are, my parents basically begged her to just let everyone watch a movie instead, so that was fine, but I could tell she was mad. It wasn't even intentional, my kids just pulled out their iPads, she saw it, and began fuming. They aren't even in the same cottage as us! It has been two days and already it's awkward. At lunch my sister took me aside and told me, "out of kindness," how worried she is about my kids -- being allowed to consume junk food and spending so much time on screens. She wanted to get into it from an educational and developmental perspective. I really just want to be on vacation and not defend my choices to her. My parents seem more or less oblivious and I do not want to draw them into this, but I am also not going to deny my kids ice cream or not let them mess around on their iPad before dinner because my sister thinks it's not OK. WWYD!? |
Anonymous
| Tell her to go pound sand. |
Anonymous
| Why would you go on vacation with her? You know how she is. Tell her you’ll raise your kids and she can raise hers. |
Anonymous
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Tell her to screw herself.
And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from. I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised. |
Anonymous
| Just tell her it is vacation and you are going to let them have snacks and use their iPads. She'll just have to figure out how to deal. |
Anonymous
| What you do in your own cottage is your business. No need for anyone else to know. |
Anonymous
+1. I'd try harder not to cause envy (I know you were already trying) but her kids are going to see stuff they want and she'll have to deal with it. It would be more reasonable of her to allow treats on vacation, than vice versa. But she doesn't get to be "concerned" about your kids, I would be pissed about that. |
Anonymous
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"Thanks for your concern, but I'm not going to get into a debate about parenting methods."
And then: "Again, thanks for your concern, but like I said, I'm not going to debate parenting methods. Please stop bringing this up." And then: "We've talked about this: stop bringing this up." After that, if she brings it up, either immediately change the subject ("What's your favorite summer drink?") or just straight up leave the room. Just because someone tries to hand you a bag of dog sh!t doesn't mean you have to take it from them. |
Anonymous
+1 I mean, I wouldn’t blow up the relationship over it, but I would not discuss it with her. Definitely don’t try to get her to believe you’re a good parent, she never will. |
Anonymous
+1 Sorry you are having to deal w this on vacation. |
Anonymous
| It seems she wants youto help her with her parenting style. If she is so sure of her choices she shouldn’t care. If my kids were not allowed to have fries I would not expect others not to eat them. What is she thinking? The world will not adjust to her. |
Anonymous
For my parents' anniversary -- it was their wish. Not my idea... |
Anonymous
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Tell her it's a her problem, not a you problem.
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Anonymous
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What would I do? I’d bite my tongue, ignore my sister, and keep doing exactly what I was doing with my own kids.
I would celebrate my parents on their 50th and not allow this silliness to interfere with what should be one of the happiest weekends of their lives. Seriously, it sounds like you trying to be considerate about the fact that your sister makes different parenting choices, and you’re not getting the same in return. If it wasn’t your parents’ 50th, then maybe you say something. |
Anonymous
| Tell her to stay in her lane. Nicely, if you're so inclined. |