Ladies who made it their job to marry a rich man-how did you do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread actually made me lose hope for women. You need to become something to earn your own gold and sugar and marry someone you love and respect, don't aspire to become sugar mama or gold digger.

No one was even using the term gold digger until you showed up and posted it five times in a row.

There is actually some good life advice here.

Which term is more suitable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met him in medical school.

You were his professor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

Chasing a rich husband just because he’s rich may be stupid. But it’s also stupid to marry a poetry major / ski instructor / 29 yr old barrista / Elementary school gym teacher and then come on DCUM and cry how you will never be able to afford to buy a house or have kids in the DC Metro area. It implies a basic inability to do math.

Over on the Money and Real Estate forums there are endless threads about how to achieve a desired standard of living in this expensive area. Many posters want to believe the system is rigged and that their own choices are not to blame - and lash out at people they perceive as undeserving. Time and time again people spell out the formula.
Pick your path -
Graduate with no debt.
Make a lot of money in your 20s and save it.
Marry someone who makes a lot of money.
Have family money or marry it.

Yes, some people had the “marry the sweet guy I met at UMD and hope for the best” on their bingo card AND it turned out that the sweet guy from an average family ended up being very successful, but that’s a crap shoot and some people like OP are looking for better odds.

Fun fact: There is a very limited number of well paying jobs. The job lottery is like the Harvard lottery, there are thousands of people out there with great grades, experience and willing to grind it out, only a few will get the coveted acceptance to Harvard or the coveted top paying jobs. Blaming people for not being smart enough, studying hard enough, planning well enough is disingenuous.

+1000

But you know who doesn’t get into Harvard or land the coveted job? Dumb people, lazy people, and people who fail to plan.

OP asked for an approach to maximize her odds of bettering her station in life. Lots of people gave advice that involves OP increasing her own earning potential in parallel with her hunt for a spouse. Not every smart, ambitious, strategic student gets into a top college. I would never tell my kids to just wing it and hope for the best since it’s such a a crap shoot. I would tell them to work hard and make strategic choices so that they have a chance knowing that even if they don’t get into Harvard, the effort will have positioned them for other opportunities.

I’m not blaming anyone for not being lucky. I’m saying “if you don’t buy a lotto ticket, stop crying about not winning the jackpot”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

Agree it works.

But as some people are noting, this is a thread about Gold Diggers whose number 1 goal is to marry someone rich and wealthy.

I agree being your best self, getting in to competitive college programs and industries yourself is an excellent way to meet smart, driven and successful people, that’s not the lazy, shallow Gold Digger way.

Start another thread for overachiever successful women marrying overachiever successful men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread actually made me lose hope for women. You need to become something to earn your own gold and sugar and marry someone you love and respect, don't aspire to become sugar mama or gold digger.

No one was even using the term gold digger until you showed up and posted it five times in a row.

There is actually some good life advice here.

There is some good life advice here but what someone as wise as you doing on such a shallow thread?

Checking in on my kids private school, skimming DCUM relationship drama, and dropping some common sense advice.!

Take it or leave it DCUM! I already have a bunch of women mentees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s not complicated. I never dated anyone who didn’t seem like they had solid income potential, and I was very very good at it. Even my high school boyfriend is wealthy now.

Just as some women screen dates for height, dark hair, whatever, for me it was always a first screen for who I would even consider dating.

My husband is not the wealthiest man I ever dated, but he’s close. But no tears for him. I have earned close to as much as him every year of our marriage all while birthing 3 of his kids.

The same. Once I got ready to date for marriage, I didn't date people who I didn't consider equal or better. Part of it was that I've always been turned off by men with low ambition. The few men I dated seriously all ended up successful.

Successful and high ambition doesn't equate to rich.

High ambition ain’t nothing without sensible action and steps.

Ideas without action are nothing.

Stay away from head in the cloud types.

And complainers, as a PP noted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

Agree it works.

But as some people are noting, this is a thread about Gold Diggers whose number 1 goal is to marry someone rich and wealthy.

I agree being your best self, getting in to competitive college programs and industries yourself is an excellent way to meet smart, driven and successful people, that’s not the lazy, shallow Gold Digger way.

Start another thread for overachiever successful women marrying overachiever successful men.

This is not a thread about being a gold digger. OP specifically said she doesn’t want to be a sugar baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I received an IVY MBA and then my first job was where many IVY MBAs go to roost so I was in a world where some people were from wealthy families with the rest having a lot of potential. I dated a couple of wealthy guys but they were overly privileged with families who had issues. The guy I married came from a very large and happy MC family but it was pretty clear he had great potential in addition to being super nice. He’s had an exceptional career and I worked for 20 years until we relocated and my children were heading into MS. I wasn’t intentionally putting myself into a position for marrying a rich guy but the path I took certainly helped.

Funny how only 2 of the longstanding top 5 MBAs even have Ivy League colleges or locations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

Agree it works.

But as some people are noting, this is a thread about Gold Diggers whose number 1 goal is to marry someone rich and wealthy.

I agree being your best self, getting in to competitive college programs and industries yourself is an excellent way to meet smart, driven and successful people, that’s not the lazy, shallow Gold Digger way.

Start another thread for overachiever successful women marrying overachiever successful men.

This is not a thread about being a gold digger. OP specifically said she doesn’t want to be a sugar baby.

WTF are you talking about

OPs subject line says “Women who make it their job to marry rich”

So they obviously don’t have a real job or career or skills. Their job is as stated.

[Anonymous]

Someone I know did.

She moved to LA from the Midwest got a job as an administrative assistant to someone high up at a very up-and-coming computer company. Very planned she worked super hard to get this job. The strategy was to go for the brains behind the CEO.

He was not married when they met. She was younger than him but not egregious like 7 years.

They have had a wonderful marriage she was not educated when they met besides community college. However, she went back to school while they were dating got a four-year degree. During the marriage she was super smart she made sure she kept up skills, grew with him and to him, they raised children with the same values. She could hold a conversation with anyone, so great to take to work dinners and yet she also made you feel like you were her best friend in two minutes. A real gem. But it was all calculated.

I love my friend. She is ride or die for me and my to her. I admire what she did here. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. And most importantly she does love her husband and the family they made.

Was she lucky sure that too, in reality it was her drive and determination that got his started and kept it going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

Agree it works.

But as some people are noting, this is a thread about Gold Diggers whose number 1 goal is to marry someone rich and wealthy.

I agree being your best self, getting in to competitive college programs and industries yourself is an excellent way to meet smart, driven and successful people, that’s not the lazy, shallow Gold Digger way.

Start another thread for overachiever successful women marrying overachiever successful men.

This^.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about being a sugar baby either. Women who were worth less than their current or former husbands and knew they wanted to marry for money over love how did you attract your rich husband?

How old are you? 32?

[Anonymous]

Based on the amount of propositions I got from married men when I was in college it made me a little worried about marriage.

I don’t think I met a man over 35 who wasn’t willing to cheat. And I’m not talking about bars or clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone I know did.

She moved to LA from the Midwest got a job as an administrative assistant to someone high up at a very up-and-coming computer company. Very planned she worked super hard to get this job. The strategy was to go for the brains behind the CEO.

He was not married when they met. She was younger than him but not egregious like 7 years.

They have had a wonderful marriage she was not educated when they met besides community college. However, she went back to school while they were dating got a four-year degree. During the marriage she was super smart she made sure she kept up skills, grew with him and to him, they raised children with the same values. She could hold a conversation with anyone, so great to take to work dinners and yet she also made you feel like you were her best friend in two minutes. A real gem. But it was all calculated.

I love my friend. She is ride or die for me and my to her. I admire what she did here. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. And most importantly she does love her husband and the family they made.

Was she lucky sure that too, in reality it was her drive and determination that got his started and kept it going.

If only she’d studied harder in college, sho would be an engineer at Google and set for life