Ladies who made it their job to marry a rich man-how did you do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

It may seem that way to you but most people marry for love and companionship, however people are often attracted to people they share commonalities with. From your perceptive it may look different.

[Anonymous]

Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.
Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.
Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most but kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich an successful on your own, or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s not complicated. I never dated anyone who didn’t seem like they had solid income potential, and I was very very good at it. Even my high school boyfriend is wealthy now.

Just as some women screen dates for height, dark hair, whatever, for me it was always a first screen for who I would even consider dating.

My husband is not the wealthiest man I ever dated, but he’s close. But no tears for him. I have earned close to as much as him every year of our marriage all while birthing 3 of his kids.

The same. Once I got ready to date for marriage, I didn't date people who I didn't consider equal or better. Part of it was that I've always been turned off by men with low ambition. The few men I dated seriously all ended up successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

Chasing a rich husband just because he’s rich may be stupid. But it’s also stupid to marry a poetry major / ski instructor / 29 yr old barrista / Elementary school gym teacher and then come on DCUM and cry how you will never be able to afford to buy a house or have kids in the DC Metro area. It implies a basic inability to do math.

Over on the Money and Real Estate forums there are endless threads about how to achieve a desired standard of living in this expensive area. Many posters want to believe the system is rigged and that their own choices are not to blame - and lash out at people they perceive as undeserving. Time and time again people spell out the formula.
Pick your path -
Graduate with no debt.
Make a lot of money in your 20s and save it.
Marry someone who makes a lot of money.
Have family money or marry it.

Yes, some people had the “marry the sweet guy I met at UMD and hope for the best” on their bingo card AND it turned out that the sweet guy from an average family ended up being very successful, but that’s a crap shoot and some people like OP are looking for better odds.

[Anonymous]

Find an ugly, kind nerd who is very smart, hard working, and ambitious.

[Anonymous]

Why has this thread been resurrected?

At any rate, it is so much easier to make making your own money a “full time job,” but whatever. I never set out to marry a rich man, but it was a fairly likely outcome given that I didn’t date anyone who had less than I do.

[Anonymous]

I think it helps to behave the way you think their mothers behave. Be kind and warm, but don't put up with nonsense. Use excellent grammar. Dress in clothing that is good quality, but not flashy. Try to be active on a non-profit board. Have a working knowledge of a Romance language. Drink in moderation. No photos on social media of you holding a tequila bottle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it helps to behave the way you think their mothers behave. Be kind and warm, but don't put up with nonsense. Use excellent grammar. Dress in clothing that is good quality, but not flashy. Try to be active on a non-profit board. Have a working knowledge of a Romance language. Drink in moderation. No photos on social media of you holding a tequila bottle.

lol. Sorority advice from 1972.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.
Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.
Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most but kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich an successful on your own, or both.

So basically be intelligent, high achieving, good looking, hard working, caring, well mannered, successful and a real catch?

[Anonymous]

Also, learn how to detect Dark Triad traits. If he’s got them, give some serious thought to whether the money is worth the trade-offs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, learn how to detect Dark Triad traits. If he’s got them, give some serious thought to whether the money is worth the trade-offs.

Most important post on this board.

Also if he nice be willing to accept short, balding or overweight or 2-3 of these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

It may seem that way to you but most people marry for love and companionship, however people are often attracted to people they share commonalities with. From your perceptive it may look different.

Please, they hardly have anything more in common with under-educated, middling, husband hunting women like Paris Hilton or Pippa Middleton than an educated, ambitious, working class woman who wants the same type of husband. The elaborate narratives that the upper classes devise to justify that which they judge in the lower classes are hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

Chasing a rich husband just because he’s rich may be stupid. But it’s also stupid to marry a poetry major / ski instructor / 29 yr old barrista / Elementary school gym teacher and then come on DCUM and cry how you will never be able to afford to buy a house or have kids in the DC Metro area. It implies a basic inability to do math.

Over on the Money and Real Estate forums there are endless threads about how to achieve a desired standard of living in this expensive area. Many posters want to believe the system is rigged and that their own choices are not to blame - and lash out at people they perceive as undeserving. Time and time again people spell out the formula.
Pick your path -
Graduate with no debt.
Make a lot of money in your 20s and save it.
Marry someone who makes a lot of money.
Have family money or marry it.

Yes, some people had the “marry the sweet guy I met at UMD and hope for the best” on their bingo card AND it turned out that the sweet guy from an average family ended up being very successful, but that’s a crap shoot and some people like OP are looking for better odds.

Fun fact: There is a very limited number of well paying jobs. The job lottery is like the Harvard lottery, there are thousands of people out there with great grades, experience and willing to grind it out, only a few will get the coveted acceptance to Harvard or the coveted top paying jobs. Blaming people for not being smart enough, studying hard enough, planning well enough is disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about being a sugar baby either. Women who were worth less than their current or former husbands and knew they wanted to marry for money over love how did you attract your rich husband?

Married a smart, hard worker like my elder who didn’t overspend.
We both then continued to do well in our careers.

Don’t know about people who targeted rich or wealthy people. Why would they be on DCUM?