Ladies who made it their job to marry a rich man-how did you do it?

[Anonymous]

I met him in medical school.

[Anonymous]

I received an IVY MBA and then my first job was where many IVY MBAs go to roost so I was in a world where some people were from wealthy families with the rest having a lot of potential. I dated a couple of wealthy guys but they were overly privileged with families who had issues. The guy I married came from a very large and happy MC family but it was pretty clear he had great potential in addition to being super nice. He’s had an exceptional career and I worked for 20 years until we relocated and my children were heading into MS. I wasn’t intentionally putting myself into a position for marrying a rich guy but the path I took certainly helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s not complicated. I never dated anyone who didn’t seem like they had solid income potential, and I was very very good at it. Even my high school boyfriend is wealthy now.

Just as some women screen dates for height, dark hair, whatever, for me it was always a first screen for who I would even consider dating.

My husband is not the wealthiest man I ever dated, but he’s close. But no tears for him. I have earned close to as much as him every year of our marriage all while birthing 3 of his kids.

The same. Once I got ready to date for marriage, I didn't date people who I didn't consider equal or better. Part of it was that I've always been turned off by men with low ambition. The few men I dated seriously all ended up successful.

Successful and high ambition doesn't equate to rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

Chasing a rich husband just because he’s rich may be stupid. But it’s also stupid to marry a poetry major / ski instructor / 29 yr old barrista / Elementary school gym teacher and then come on DCUM and cry how you will never be able to afford to buy a house or have kids in the DC Metro area. It implies a basic inability to do math.

Over on the Money and Real Estate forums there are endless threads about how to achieve a desired standard of living in this expensive area. Many posters want to believe the system is rigged and that their own choices are not to blame - and lash out at people they perceive as undeserving. Time and time again people spell out the formula.
Pick your path -
Graduate with no debt.
Make a lot of money in your 20s and save it.
Marry someone who makes a lot of money.
Have family money or marry it.

Yes, some people had the “marry the sweet guy I met at UMD and hope for the best” on their bingo card AND it turned out that the sweet guy from an average family ended up being very successful, but that’s a crap shoot and some people like OP are looking for better odds.

Fun fact: There is a very limited number of well paying jobs. The job lottery is like the Harvard lottery, there are thousands of people out there with great grades, experience and willing to grind it out, only a few will get the coveted acceptance to Harvard or the coveted top paying jobs. Blaming people for not being smart enough, studying hard enough, planning well enough is disingenuous.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I received an IVY MBA and then my first job was where many IVY MBAs go to roost so I was in a world where some people were from wealthy families with the rest having a lot of potential. I dated a couple of wealthy guys but they were overly privileged with families who had issues. The guy I married came from a very large and happy MC family but it was pretty clear he had great potential in addition to being super nice. He’s had an exceptional career and I worked for 20 years until we relocated and my children were heading into MS. I wasn’t intentionally putting myself into a position for marrying a rich guy but the path I took certainly helped.

FYI, No one calls them "IVY MBAs"

Cut it out.

[Anonymous]

If money is really a priority, marry someone older and well settled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If money is really a priority, marry someone older and well settled.

true, this is the only way to know ahead of time what you're getting. they're already rich, wealthy and established. and Older!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I have no idea how one makes it a job to marry rich.

I married a guy who I loved and respected, and we've been lucky and unlucky. Life happens. Marrying for money is a stupid thing to do.

This is the number one sport of the upper classes and upper middle classes. The game is just a bit more subtle.

Chasing a rich husband just because he’s rich may be stupid. But it’s also stupid to marry a poetry major / ski instructor / 29 yr old barrista / Elementary school gym teacher and then come on DCUM and cry how you will never be able to afford to buy a house or have kids in the DC Metro area. It implies a basic inability to do math.

Over on the Money and Real Estate forums there are endless threads about how to achieve a desired standard of living in this expensive area. Many posters want to believe the system is rigged and that their own choices are not to blame - and lash out at people they perceive as undeserving. Time and time again people spell out the formula.
Pick your path -
Graduate with no debt.
Make a lot of money in your 20s and save it.
Marry someone who makes a lot of money.
Have family money or marry it.

Yes, some people had the “marry the sweet guy I met at UMD and hope for the best” on their bingo card AND it turned out that the sweet guy from an average family ended up being very successful, but that’s a crap shoot and some people like OP are looking for better odds.

Fun fact: There is a very limited number of well paying jobs. The job lottery is like the Harvard lottery, there are thousands of people out there with great grades, experience and willing to grind it out, only a few will get the coveted acceptance to Harvard or the coveted top paying jobs. Blaming people for not being smart enough, studying hard enough, planning well enough is disingenuous.

FALSE. With an info gap and attitude like that you won't be competing for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

Like its so easy to get into top colleges with full ride and then getting hired by top companies, even though most intelligent and ambitious students can't do it, every aspiring gold digger in her teens can?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is really a priority, marry someone older and well settled.

true, this is the only way to know ahead of time what you're getting. they're already rich, wealthy and established. and Older!

And no risk of potential never materializing or inheritance never happening or waiting a decade for potential to materialize. Also older men don't come with controlling in-laws.

However, true gold diggers should aim for geriatric folks with potential to die.

[Anonymous]

This thread actually made me lose hope for women. You need to become something to earn your own gold and sugar and marry someone you love and respect, don't aspire to become sugar mama or gold digger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step 1 - Get into a top college. If you want to take it up a notch, choose a university with a high male to female ratio and/or choose a male dominated field like engineering or computer science.

Step 2a - work hard and actually get good grades so you can be successful if your plan falls through.

Step 2b - only date guys who have a good relationship with their affluent, married parents. If you want to inherit $$$ or just have the kind in-laws that pay for weddings and a down payment for a house, you are looking for a guy whose parents still pay for their adult kids’ iPhones and take them on scuba and ski vacations. Sorry, not sorry, but divorce = less money to go around. A guy that has a close and friendly/ easy relationship with his siblings and parents AND the family welcomes you and makes you feel included is also a decent screen for mental illness and crazy MILs. You know how there is always one affluent / rich guy in your dorm and when his parents are in town they buy pizza for the floor or take a group of like 6-10 like out to dinner? That’s the family you want to marry into. They have money to spare AND are generous and inclusive.

Step 3 - get a job with the most prestigious company you can. Don’t go work at a chemical plant in Peoria or as a project manager in Worcester Mass unless you want to marry a guy with that type of job. You want consulting, FAANG, finance. First you need to make money and demonstrate ambition to attract the same. If you are still with your rich college BF, this will show his parents you don’t need a pre-up. If you aren’t, this will help you find the next one.

Step 4 - look for the guy at your prestigious company who is going places. Not the guy who works 100 hours a week or the most butt kissing one, but the one that seems to understand the politics. You are looking for the guy who gets pulled into projects and invited to happy hours by people 3-4 levels above him. Don’t throw away your career yet, but if there is a tie, make the choice that supports his career.

Basically fake it until you make it. Surround yourself with rich, successful people and learn how to be more like them. Chances are decent you will marry one, become rich and successful on your own, or both.

THIS WORKS!

You'll make a ton of interesting friends too and have a great time along the way.
No need to fake it - all these places have a mix of smart, down-to-earth successful people and somewhat-smart, crazy Bret Easton Ellis-type "successful" lucky people.
Plus you'll have a bunch of awesome girlfriends and Mom friends later, all over the country and world.

--- Full ride ugrad (academic) --> Ibanking --> buyside --> Top 5 MBA --> buyside + got married --> kids, kept working --> now both Sr on the buyside

Like its so easy to get into top colleges with full ride and then getting hired by top companies, even though most intelligent and ambitious students can't do it, every aspiring gold digger in her teens can?

The only thing you’re correct on is that Gold diggers won’t put in the work.

Cream rises to the top. The “most intelligent, ambitious and hard working students” do well. No matter what college.
There are college honors programs everywhere and career recruiting programs everywhere looking for people.
But only smart resourceful people will apply. Not-smart complaining people will sit there and complain, whilst doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread actually made me lose hope for women. You need to become something to earn your own gold and sugar and marry someone you love and respect, don't aspire to become sugar mama or gold digger.

No one was even using the term gold digger until you showed up and posted it five times in a row.

There is actually some good life advice here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread actually made me lose hope for women. You need to become something to earn your own gold and sugar and marry someone you love and respect, don't aspire to become sugar mama or gold digger.

No one was even using the term gold digger until you showed up and posted it five times in a row.

There is actually some good life advice here.

There is some good life advice here but what someone as wise as you doing on such a shallow thread?