Where do private schools really get you in life?

[Anonymous]

It's all about the connections the child - and the parents - make.

[Anonymous]

I mean, there’s no way of knowing whether a given kid would’ve done better at a public school, or vice versa, because you obviously can’t run the alternate scenario.

All any of us can do is talk about our own personal experiences.

That said: I went to public school for K-8 and then private school for high school. I felt exceptionally well prepared for college. Honestly, college was easy, so maybe I was over-prepared for it.

DH went to public school for K-12, college, and grad school.

He and I have both found success in our chosen careers.

There are some differences between our educations that we’ve picked up on. It doesn’t mean my HS education was better than his; it was simply different. It was what was right for me. That doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. My high school was a pressure cooker and, like other pressure cooker schools, some kids thrive in it and some kids really don’t. That doesn’t mean those kids have deficiencies or something; it simply means they need a different environment, and that’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having gone to both and also worked at both, I think this is actually a pretty important philosophical decision. If you think there is essentially only one narrow path to success in life, and that the stakes are extremely high in this zero-sum game of a world, spend your money on private school. If you think there are many possible successful futures for your child, and you have faith that they will find them with hard work in their own time, save your money and send them to public school.

This is as ridiculous as every other analysis that doesn’t take into account that all public schools are not the same and all private schools are not the same. You are deeply incorrect if you think that private school parents all choose private schools because they see “one narrow path to success in life”. The reasons are as varied as families are. Try not to scorn every choice that’s different from the choice you think you would make under the same circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Khakis + Navy Blue blazer look

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a real misconception that people choose or should choose private schools for college acceptances. Choose the school because it’s the kind of secondary education you want your child to have. If you have a good public option, why not take it? Absolutely your child can thrive in either.

We did not have a good public option, so our choices were move or private. Private made sense for us. It sounds like it may not make sense for you

I’m a product of public school. Not ashamed or embarrassed but wanted a better education for my children. My kids are at a top DC private. They are getting a truly outstanding education - something I didn’t have. Most public schools are inferior. No judgment, and it is what it is. Yes, I’d love for them to have a leg up in college admissions but they likely won’t. However, I feel confident that when they are out in the world they will be better educated than about 90-95 percent of the population. It’s already obvious when they around peers that haven’t had the same opportunities. They operate at a different level so for me it’s worth it.

It’s statements like these that keep these discussions going. Public schools in general are not inferior to private, particularly not those in good school districts or notable ranked. Are they different? Yes, but that does not make them inferior. In fact, because of their size and makeup they often teach and require life skills and soft skills that are harder to come by in private. For instance, I find that generally by a huge margin public school kids that are doing well are better able to work with a greater variety of people, better able to advocate for themselves, and generally don’t need as much hand holding. Private school kids of a certain type better understand how to navigate some social and corporate aspects of the world. They also tend to present with a confidence of belonging in a particular place(this can be both good and bad). Overall, I don’t feel academically either is better than the other. Particularly not in ways that are relevant once College and internship are taken into consideration

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a real misconception that people choose or should choose private schools for college acceptances. Choose the school because it’s the kind of secondary education you want your child to have. If you have a good public option, why not take it? Absolutely your child can thrive in either.

We did not have a good public option, so our choices were move or private. Private made sense for us. It sounds like it may not make sense for you

I’m a product of public school. Not ashamed or embarrassed but wanted a better education for my children. My kids are at a top DC private. They are getting a truly outstanding education - something I didn’t have. Most public schools are inferior. No judgment, and it is what it is. Yes, I’d love for them to have a leg up in college admissions but they likely won’t. However, I feel confident that when they are out in the world they will be better educated than about 90-95 percent of the population. It’s already obvious when they around peers that haven’t had the same opportunities. They operate at a different level so for me it’s worth it.

It’s statements like these that keep these discussions going. Public schools in general are not inferior to private, particularly not those in good school districts or notable ranked. Are they different? Yes, but that does not make them inferior. In fact, because of their size and makeup they often teach and require life skills and soft skills that are harder to come by in private. For instance, I find that generally by a huge margin public school kids that are doing well are better able to work with a greater variety of people, better able to advocate for themselves, and generally don’t need as much hand holding. Private school kids of a certain type better understand how to navigate some social and corporate aspects of the world. They also tend to present with a confidence of belonging in a particular place(this can be both good and bad). Overall, I don’t feel academically either is better than the other. Particularly not in ways that are relevant once College and internship are taken into consideration

I’m PP. Your assessment that public and private are generally equal really only applies if you grew up in an area like DC, where lots of wealthy and educated families send their kids to public schools. It’s obvious you grew up in one of these environments. Try leaving the DMV bubble and you’d understand that for 90 percent of the country, public schools are clearly inferior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a real misconception that people choose or should choose private schools for college acceptances. Choose the school because it’s the kind of secondary education you want your child to have. If you have a good public option, why not take it? Absolutely your child can thrive in either.

We did not have a good public option, so our choices were move or private. Private made sense for us. It sounds like it may not make sense for you

I’m a product of public school. Not ashamed or embarrassed but wanted a better education for my children. My kids are at a top DC private. They are getting a truly outstanding education - something I didn’t have. Most public schools are inferior. No judgment, and it is what it is. Yes, I’d love for them to have a leg up in college admissions but they likely won’t. However, I feel confident that when they are out in the world they will be better educated than about 90-95 percent of the population. It’s already obvious when they around peers that haven’t had the same opportunities. They operate at a different level so for me it’s worth it.

It’s statements like these that keep these discussions going. Public schools in general are not inferior to private, particularly not those in good school districts or notable ranked. Are they different? Yes, but that does not make them inferior. In fact, because of their size and makeup they often teach and require life skills and soft skills that are harder to come by in private. For instance, I find that generally by a huge margin public school kids that are doing well are better able to work with a greater variety of people, better able to advocate for themselves, and generally don’t need as much hand holding. Private school kids of a certain type better understand how to navigate some social and corporate aspects of the world. They also tend to present with a confidence of belonging in a particular place(this can be both good and bad). Overall, I don’t feel academically either is better than the other. Particularly not in ways that are relevant once College and internship are taken into consideration

I’m PP. Your assessment that public and private are generally equal really only applies if you grew up in an area like DC, where lots of wealthy and educated families send their kids to public schools. It’s obvious you grew up in one of these environments. Try leaving the DMV bubble and you’d understand that for 90 percent of the country, public schools are clearly inferior.

I want to add that your other points are well-taken and I agree. In fact, I worry every day that my kids won’t have the same perseverance and grit my DH and I had coming out of public school. But we are both outliers. The reality is that the academics in most public schools vs a top private will never match up. It stinks, but it’s reality.

[Anonymous]

If you look at Sidwell alums, they have a real problem with leadership. Few end up in leadership positions regardless of career choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you look at Sidwell alums, they have a real problem with leadership. Few end up in leadership positions regardless of career choice.

Is being in a leadership position a proxy for career success?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a privilege to go to the very best private schools O.P. Less than five percent of students go to private schools. The top privates provide a posh + prestigious experience. Students feel valued + are confident. It would be nice if every kid were valued, but they are not.

People always strive for the best. Why does that confuse you. Who would not want to drive a luxury car over an everyday one?

Sure, some publics provide good educations. But they are not elite since anyone can go there.

Lame.
From public high school students.

[Anonymous]

I went to a public school and then attended three Ivies. I now teach at a top university. My education prepared me well and I never felt otherwise — I was at the top of my class at a very competitive Ivy.

The biggest difference I notice is that private school kids can be more confident and more entitled. This makes sense as they are used to having more resources, including things like adult attention and encouragement. They don’t feel bad asking for my time and they can be surprised if they don’t do as well as they expect. This is the opposite of public school kids who often expect nothing, even when they have access to more.

I suspect many of the differences also come down to social class and other factors. I just didn’t know a lot of things about how the world worked, connections, etc. My parents didn’t have any of that stuff. They just taught me to work hard and do my best. I think private schools encourage self-discovery and have a lot of resources for students to orient themselves to the world outside school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a public school and then attended three Ivies. I now teach at a top university. My education prepared me well and I never felt otherwise — I was at the top of my class at a very competitive Ivy.

The biggest difference I notice is that private school kids can be more confident and more entitled. This makes sense as they are used to having more resources, including things like adult attention and encouragement. They don’t feel bad asking for my time and they can be surprised if they don’t do as well as they expect. This is the opposite of public school kids who often expect nothing, even when they have access to more.

I suspect many of the differences also come down to social class and other factors. I just didn’t know a lot of things about how the world worked, connections, etc. My parents didn’t have any of that stuff. They just taught me to work hard and do my best. I think private schools encourage self-discovery and have a lot of resources for students to orient themselves to the world outside school.

Using one example, where a top student in ivy is from the public school system, to argue that the public school is as good as or better than the private school is not a fair comparison. Rather, the question should be if the same person is educated in a private school, would he even do better?

I think for most kids, the answer is YES. The reason is simple. The parents have paid significant amount of money, thus the private school offers smaller classes, more extra curriculums, and being more responsive to parents feedbacks.

The real question is if the investment is worth the difference/improvement. I think this depends on the kids and the parents. Note that all the top public school are in rich neighborhood. While these kids are in public school system, their parents are resource rich and likely invest significantly outside of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a real misconception that people choose or should choose private schools for college acceptances. Choose the school because it’s the kind of secondary education you want your child to have. If you have a good public option, why not take it? Absolutely your child can thrive in either.

We did not have a good public option, so our choices were move or private. Private made sense for us. It sounds like it may not make sense for you

I’m a product of public school. Not ashamed or embarrassed but wanted a better education for my children. My kids are at a top DC private. They are getting a truly outstanding education - something I didn’t have. Most public schools are inferior. No judgment, and it is what it is. Yes, I’d love for them to have a leg up in college admissions but they likely won’t. However, I feel confident that when they are out in the world they will be better educated than about 90-95 percent of the population. It’s already obvious when they around peers that haven’t had the same opportunities. They operate at a different level so for me it’s worth it.

I agree. I went to an expensive private from k-12 and compared to my kid’s public school education, my academic experience was far superior. For this reason, I’ve decided to put DC in private starting in the fall. Oh, and we live in a school district with the best ranked schools in our state.

[Anonymous]

Erm, Harvard? Not GDS. But the Big 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you look at Sidwell alums, they have a real problem with leadership. Few end up in leadership positions regardless of career choice.

I don't understand this comment. "Problem with leadership"???? Says who and based off of what?