New roommate emails to request they be given the desk and bed by the window. Wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the substance of the request is off, given that the person was there and had it last time, but I do agree that the lack of plesantries or a friendly tone suggests that this will not be a great roomate experience. Who wants to live in a room with someone who is not especially friendly or warm?

I Agree! She could have said ....hello, looking forward to meeting you, fyi and a little awkward but I was given/ took/ won window spot for year but because of covid packed up in case of no return, my plan is to just move back to same spot so heads up in case you get there before me. It’s a great room/ warm room/ lots of sunlight room and I know you’ll be comfortable......

Some people are self-centered and do not communicate well. Tell dd to go along and look for single or roommate of choosing for future.

I HATE this PP's wishy washy, overly apologetic reply with a passion. "oooo.....sorryyy.....it's a little awkward but oops...sorryyyyyyy." STOP. Stop encouraging overly apologetic nonsense.

The email OP shared was perfectly polite and succinct.
"Hi, I see we will be roommates for Spring Semester. I was on campus last semester and had the bed and desk by the window. For break I had to pack everything as we did not know if we would return to campus. I am not sure of your move in date, mine is ____. If you arrive before me can you please leave the bed and desk by the window for me to move into?” She said please! She asked - did not demand.

[Anonymous]

I think the roommate could have emailed just a hello, how are you kind of message and let an exchange get going. Pretty soon, it would come up that that was already her room and she had lived there. It would have worked itself out. Like after a rapport was developed, several emails in, she could have said... Do you mind if I take the bed I had before?

[Anonymous]

for what it's worth, I teach HS and the email etiquette is ATROCIOUS. Even the kindest, most polite students send me emails that bother me (no greeting, just "when are you going to grade this" or "when can you update the gradebook" 5 minutes after submitting an assignment). I rarely, if ever, get a salutation. It still annoys me but written communication can be really easy to misinterpret. I would go in with an open mind as others have posted, and I also agree that your DD's move seems passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the substance of the request is off, given that the person was there and had it last time, but I do agree that the lack of plesantries or a friendly tone suggests that this will not be a great roomate experience. Who wants to live in a room with someone who is not especially friendly or warm?

I Agree! She could have said ....hello, looking forward to meeting you, fyi and a little awkward but I was given/ took/ won window spot for year but because of covid packed up in case of no return, my plan is to just move back to same spot so heads up in case you get there before me. It’s a great room/ warm room/ lots of sunlight room and I know you’ll be comfortable......

Some people are self-centered and do not communicate well. Tell dd to go along and look for single or roommate of choosing for future.

I HATE this PP's wishy washy, overly apologetic reply with a passion. "oooo.....sorryyy.....it's a little awkward but oops...sorryyyyyyy." STOP. Stop encouraging overly apologetic nonsense.

The email OP shared was perfectly polite and succinct.
"Hi, I see we will be roommates for Spring Semester. I was on campus last semester and had the bed and desk by the window. For break I had to pack everything as we did not know if we would return to campus. I am not sure of your move in date, mine is ____. If you arrive before me can you please leave the bed and desk by the window for me to move into?” She said please! She asked - did not demand.

DP. If I received that email then my impression of the sender would be that the person has no social skills and the person probably has narcissistic tendencies. The message expresses nothing except self-interest. That does not bode well imo.

[Anonymous]

Just ignore the email pretend it never arrived.

When your kid gets in the room, they can make the decision for themself based on the room arrangement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the substance of the request is off, given that the person was there and had it last time, but I do agree that the lack of plesantries or a friendly tone suggests that this will not be a great roomate experience. Who wants to live in a room with someone who is not especially friendly or warm?

I Agree! She could have said ....hello, looking forward to meeting you, fyi and a little awkward but I was given/ took/ won window spot for year but because of covid packed up in case of no return, my plan is to just move back to same spot so heads up in case you get there before me. It’s a great room/ warm room/ lots of sunlight room and I know you’ll be comfortable......

Some people are self-centered and do not communicate well. Tell dd to go along and look for single or roommate of choosing for future.

I HATE this PP's wishy washy, overly apologetic reply with a passion. "oooo.....sorryyy.....it's a little awkward but oops...sorryyyyyyy." STOP. Stop encouraging overly apologetic nonsense.

The email OP shared was perfectly polite and succinct.
"Hi, I see we will be roommates for Spring Semester. I was on campus last semester and had the bed and desk by the window. For break I had to pack everything as we did not know if we would return to campus. I am not sure of your move in date, mine is ____. If you arrive before me can you please leave the bed and desk by the window for me to move into?” She said please! She asked - did not demand.

That is really crappy and she should work it out.

[Anonymous]

What? 100% team roommate. S/he was there first.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why you're offended by that, OP. It seems reasonable. The person says hi, they were already in the room before break, and they even say please and thank you. Whatever...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Enjoying both the diversity of thought and the recurring themes. For clarity; mom is only an observer. In this situation I myself would have replied “really looking forward to rooming together, no worries about the desk/bed -consider the window ones yours!” and I am widely recognized as a pushover by my circle. DD is not like me and shared the email saying this further raises her concerns about the assignment roommate after she went through her Instagram account and found no photos with same age friends (DD feels what she saw on future roommates Insta suggests an obsessive personality and a life void of friendships). DD imagined herself doing what sounds rude to me (ignoring request and deciding which bed/desk to occupy when she gets to the room). DD said if future roommate asked she would just claim to have no knowledge of email request. To (pushover and very accommodating) me DD’s plan sounds awful and I am genuinely curious what others would elect to do in this situation.

Really sorry, OP, but your daughter sounds like a b_tch. I agree, she's being rude. She's also making wild assumptions based on a curated social media feed. I don't put pictures of other people in my instagram feed because I respect their privacy, perhaps roommate is similar. Your kid sounds like she might be the obsessive one here.

[Anonymous]

The request sounds incredibly pushy/elbowy/entitled/obnoxious/cunning, to me.

If your daughter is moving in earlier, I'd ignore the email and claim the bed myself. If the daughter is moving in later or same day, I like the 'flip for it' idea. Of course this depends on if your daughter cares about the window what-so-ever.

For those saying the kid deserves the bed, why? Sounds like she already got it last semester. Why does she deserve to get it the full year when she pays the same room rate as everyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The request sounds incredibly pushy/elbowy/entitled/obnoxious/cunning, to me.

If your daughter is moving in earlier, I'd ignore the email and claim the bed myself. If the daughter is moving in later or same day, I like the 'flip for it' idea. Of course this depends on if your daughter cares about the window what-so-ever.

For those saying the kid deserves the bed, why? Sounds like she already got it last semester. Why does she deserve to get it the full year when she pays the same room rate as everyone else?

I agree with this. I cannot believe how many people think she deserves it just because she had it last time. I would do exactly what the DD is doing. Play dumb.

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I was going to ask you to let me choose the space first, mainly because I suffer from mild claustrophobia and anxiety.

It does not mean that the window space suits me best, it just means that I will have to evaluate that once I get to the room and inspect the space. The difference for me is that I will be healthier while away from home.

I am sure you will understand. Thank you so much for reaching out. I am looking forward to being roomies .

- Larla

[Anonymous]

The DD didn’t initiate this situation; the cold fish email did. I think the DD’s approach sounds pretty savvy - kill them roommate with kindness and say DD wants some closet space as part of the arrangement. The DD isn’t being a b*tch. She’s simply setting a boundary and moving the needle back to the middle with this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi,
I was going to ask you to let me choose the space first, mainly because I suffer from mild claustrophobia and anxiety.

It does not mean that the window space suits me best, it just means that I will have to evaluate that once I get to the room and inspect the space. The difference for me is that I will be healthier while away from home.

I am sure you will understand. Thank you so much for reaching out. I am looking forward to being roomies .

- Larla

We have a winner lol!

[Anonymous]

Play dumb. Roommate sounds rude and self centered. I hope the single comes through